Look, I’m all for whimsy but let’s be honest with ourselves, this is clearly a vending machine and not an ATM. It doesn’t even take cash, let alone allow salmon deposits.
Fake outrage aside, this whips and I dunno who’s out here buying 200 gram portions of frozen salmon after midnight, but they seem fun.
I agree, this isn’t an ATM. It’s an automated machine, but it doesn’t provide any of the same services as a bank teller. It should instead be called an AFM (automated fishmonger machine).
Can you be 100% certain that someone doesn’t consider salmon as currency? Since the automated teller machine is for giving out currency after all
Uh, what do you think S$ means? Clearly, it is Salmon-Dollars.
My cat would totally accept it as payment.
AFM - Automatic fish monger
FTM - Fish Transaction Machine
That way, AFM machine isn’t redundant. I like the way you think. This’ll give pedants years of the same shit to talk about.
salmon deposits.
I just want to be very very clear that if you say this phrase out loud, you MUST. ARTICULATE. CAREFULLY.
If they sold trout I’d call it an ATM. This is an ASM at best.
At least its not an ASL.
American Salmon Language
You do you, but an automated teller machine does not dispense tellers.
They’re probably scared to be on their own; easily spooked, I’m told. You need to get Penn from the APM first.
Well not all ATMs allow deposits and the ones that don’t, generally don’t take cash in any form any way, only card (and then give out cash)
If you see salmon as a currency, then this could be a withdraw-only salmon ATM
The size is good enough for a solo dinner with the fried fillet and a couple cups of rice.
I am preparing for hibernation right now and often crave salmon after midnight. I would love to have a salmon vending machine nearby.
Food Dispenser. Vending Machine.
Not an ATM.
Wrong fish, it’s supposed to be Automated Trout Machine
it used to be trout, they had to pivot to salmon for supply chain reasons
Almost the same fish tbh
Nah, trout is white on the inside
Steelhead trout is pink.
Maybe the salmon is willing to go ass to mouth?
These replace manual salmon tellers.
Can you check your salmon balance there too?
Checking: fish
Savings: fish
At least it’s not a phish
How do i deposit my weekly salmon?
In the frying pan. With some lemon pepper and garlic.
Or miso with a bit of ginger
Does it work in reverse too: insert salmon, get cash?
It’s an atm, it just dispenses equivalent amounts of salmon that you previously stored in there.
So yes? Because cash ATMs also work in reverse: you can insert cash and it will show up in your bank account.
Not all of them do
Not? Then what are they supposed to do other than converting digital and cash money?
A lot of them only work one way, cash withdrawal only, no depositing functionality is made into it. It’s very common in Asia.
I don’t think I’ve ever run into those here in the Netherlands. Perhaps it’s common enough to withdraw and deposit cash here, and it’s uncommon to deposit cash in some Asian countries? Maybe there’s random laws against things I don’t know of, I wouldn’t be surprised if we require ATMs to work both ways here even if people rarely use them 🤷♂️
Reminds me of when my mate deposited his kebab in a bank machine so he could withdraw it when sober.
did it work?
He got a warning letter instead of his doner back.
noted, doner kebab is not fungible
Non-Fungible Takeaway
If I learned anything from playing MMORPGs, yes.
There are real? This was a plot point on The Great North and I thought it was something they made up, like cold weather and Alanis Morrisette.
It’s real. Seen them, but never felt compelled to use one. There was one outside a small convenience store near where I live. I haven’t seen any for years though.
Until they swap salmon out with tuna, then it’d be correct
There had to be least one (1) bear involved in the creation of this machine.
NORWEGIAN SALMON ASS TO MOUTH
Bass to Trout
ESPRESSO NUT TO BUTT, no no I meant
nutbean two girls and one cup! Wait no Taylor Farms totoilettable–by the restroom!
I’ve never been to Singapore, but I think vending machines should be common enough there that they wouldn’t mistranslate it as ATM.
mistranslate
Americans when other dialects of English are allowed to do their own thing
Automated teller machine. How exactly does that translate to vending machine?
literally means figuratively, thing means object and not parliament, SMS means short message and not short message system, USAmericans say pants to trousers and underpants to pants, beamer for BMW, merc for Mercedes. Those are just different uses of words in different types of English.
Thing and ðing are different. SMS means short message service. BMer is pretty self explanatory. Merc is from the English who stole it from German parlance. And you just really are bitter aren’t you?
Not even 乁[ ◕ ᴥ ◕ ]ㄏ
I’m fine with all of these and I think it’s also ok to let Singaporean English develop in its own direction.
ASM: Automated Salmonoid Machine
Salmon to Mouth to ass!!!
It’s the finale for my fish-based-erotica-paradoy of “Requiem for a dream”…
…“Aquarium Full of Creams”
Who’s your spawnsor for publishing?
Pangolin Parblushers
Is it true they pay on a fixed scale?
Wetrium Scream?
Not an ATM, because it does not deal money, which is what a Teller does.
Maybe it also does magic tricks without ever speaking. That’s what Teller does.
Maybe it delivers stories.
While nontraditional, it is currency. My adderall dealer accepts cash, btc, skittles, and norwegian salmon fillets.
I mean this with all sincerity that I wish I had one of these near me. Salmon is so damn good.
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Thank you for that info! I’ve often heard farmed salmon is far inferior to wild caught. I’ll admit I hadn’t done the research yet but your post was enough to get me to begin reading up on it.
Thanks again!
It’s farmed
Not caught in the wild
That’s a good thing for salmon. We’re grossly overfishing wild salmon. Plus, you could use this to make sushi.
Doesn’t taste like it’s supposed to.
While I am as pro-planet as anyone, I have a sneaking suspicion there would be no “over farming” if capitalism didn’t throw away 3 for ever 1 they sell.
Instead of making us eat fish that tastes like, hmm, not sure anymore, they should instead make fines for wasting.
Where do you live that salmon is so cheap they can afford to throw away 3 for every 1 they sell? Around here when they have stockpiles about to expire they run a deep discount and it’s still more expensive per kg than meat from things with legs.
I used to work in salmon farming
It’s a disgraceful industry and I got out as soon as I possibly could
