Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert’s campaign said that it was “investigating some very unusual voting patterns,” as the MAGA congresswoman was on the brink of losing her reelection bid.
As Democrat Eileen Laubacher’s lead over Boebert grew slightly Thursday in the race to represent Colorado’s 4th District, Boebert’s campaign released a statement suggesting foul play. Scott Gessler, the attorney for the campaign, claimed that the votes had been “trending” in Boebert’s favor since election night, “consistently lowering the margin under one percentage point.”
“We are investigating some very unusual voting patterns and expect this election to head to a recount, one way or another,” Gessler continued.
As of Friday morning, Laubacher was still leading Boebert 48.75 percent to 47.94 percent, with 97 percent reporting. The two candidates had a margin of 3,069 votes, more than three times the automatic recount threshold of 921 votes. Boebert’s campaign could still choose to pay for a recount.
Try not to jerk anyone off in the parking lot on your way out.
Hey! You! Get back here!
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Shit. How long is the line?
37 dicks
In a row?
Tip to tip
This scene is chef’s kiss
But what about girth though? Obviously gonna have to sort for that.
What about D2F
In a row?
36?
36! Does that include me!?!?
…37
No cuts!
That makes sense, the uncut are easier to jerk off.
Yeah. There’s more physical sensation and lube is less required.
And the skin heals faster than whatever tissue makes up the head.
Bit more work to keep clean, but I highly recommend being uncut.
Oh sure, tell me that now!
You can actually reverse it.
Idk, I think if my parents knew that I wouldn’t have been so lucky.
“less lube required”
More like no lube required? Am I unusual in never having used lube to masturbate?
No, I don’t need any lol.
I just say “less” because there’s probably guys out there that swear by it.
The real reason for the prevalence of circumcision was to discourage “self-abuse”.
I don’t think it worked.
I think it reduced infection and such legitimately, in men. So called female circumcision, aka female genital mutilation, is done to prevent sexual escapades by woman, as I understand it.
Kind of. Before washing and soaps were a thing, it had a benefit. If you weren’t able to clean yourself, a lack of foreskin gave one less area for bacteria growth
There’s an obvious issue though. That was surgery on a baby before basic hygiene. They’d just slice it off with a sharp object and suck blood from the wound until it stopped bleeding (a technique that has somehow survived to the modern day)
STDs from the guy sucking off babies aside, serious infection was a frequent issue. Many babies died. I’d much rather have harder hygiene than risking dying. Not to mention how many procedures cut off too much skin, or healed incorrectly, affecting the later use of the mutilated member
Have you ever seen those water-wiggler/infinite tube things people used to give out as party favors way back in the before-times? It kind of works like having a built-in one of those at all times. That’s why they started to encourage people to cut them off in the 1800s. People kind of forget that the whole reason Christians started doing it was prudes getting up in their feelings about men having a good wank and the corpos liking the idea of not being able to jack it without having to pay for some Vaseline or a bottle of Jergens.
Something something quantum mechanics
Y’know, I’m sympathetic to her on this one. I keep trying, but it’s like two or three dudes every time I leave a store. It takes forever to get to my car! Well, I mean, like two extra minutes. But y’know, that’s valuable time!
Have you got two hands? If so then, FFS, start using both!!
I am! One for me, one for them, sheesh!
In that case you seem to have amazing endurance, I don’t know if I should express respect, condolences, or both
i think I implied above that it only adds a couple of extra minutes, sooooo, not so much endurance. lol
I’m rwminded of the Silicon Valley middle-out discussion about the most efficient method to perk off as ,any dudes as possible. Didn’t that inspire an actual breakthrough in compression algorithms?
most efficient method to perk off
YOU get this cup of coffee, and YOU get this muffin! Enjoy your perks!
Why you gotta ruin some dude’s day like that?
Still a net positive to society if she jerks off some guy.
Or dry jerking in the theatre was it? Unless there was another incident, doing it in the theatre is worese I would think. Although honestly I can’t talk.
of course she does. that has been the fall back cry of repuglicans since the first days of trumpitude
I’m actually surprised that she’s trying to pull* this BS when not even Trump attempted it this time (which is even more surprising TBF).
It’s cause she can’t come up with a better idea and thinks it’s the right thing to do.
I was wondering which Nazi would break first.
Maybe she should go work out her energy by wanking off some dude in public.
I am surprised none of them except her are screeching and fighting teeth and nails over “election fraud”. They can’t concede defeat, it’s neither in the fascist handtweet (because they can’t read a handbook) and they are all going to be prosecuted. Unless they plan to get AIPAC-funded traitors break D ranks and/or pass milquetoast “we’re not here for revenge” legislature?
I’m scared they’re planning a coup or a Jan. 6 2.0 massacre.
It’s too early. They are all scrambling. She broke early and I’m sure got yelled at.
Right now it feels like 2012 energy, where they were sure they had systems in place to keep things in check, and now they’re regrouping and lashing out at a few of their own on the way. So get ready and be alert. This didn’t destroy MAGA, it just blindsided them.
They sure got even for that black man. 😂😂
If it wasn’t for Obama’s roasting of Trump, we would have gotten a different version of MAGA. That was inevitable. I wonder if we got the better one? What if MAGA had put in place someone more competent, less history, and younger?
Right? That will be the next one though. I think 2028 despite the bullshit. I know, I know, Debbie Doomer, but really look around. It’s been clear for a decade (longer if you pay attention) that there’s like 1.5 political parties in amerikkka, not 2.
I don’t see it as “both sides” but more too many are willing to lean and protect their own interests, so they don’t agree with a lot from the right, but give into them with lots of excuses. Seems like it’s about the same results, but it’s fixable, unlike if half the left was actually Fedderman clones.
To your number - I hope in that viewpoint we have that 0.5, that would be promising for eventual change, as it wasn’t too long ago that having just a few progressive in the House was news.
There’s a reason Kegsbreath announced an increased military presence in D.C. the day after the elections.
I firmly believe they’ll just refuse to seat anyone and then deal with the inevitable shit storm that results.
This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.
They have no plan yet, we can’t let them regroup
The vast majority of the GOP losers already conceded, what are you talking about?
I think that’s the weird part I’m also kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop
We forgot you existed. Please go away.
I could have sworn she got voted out and started an Only Fans.
Ha ha, her and nancy mace both are one lost election away from thirst trapping old rich maga douches on only fans. Idk if Mace lost, that would be too much to hope for I suppose.
She retired to run for governor, but lost the primary. Republican won governor, but her seat went blue
Ha ha, great! Thanks for the info, that cynical bitch making jokes about Matt Gaetz banging underage girls then helps keep the epstein marks hidden.
Sounds like a handy excuse
She’s just trying to jerk us around
It’s just theater.
Will someone please throw a bucket of water on that witch so we can be done with her?
She turned me into a newt!
Yeah, but did you get better?
Well, yeah…
“If I win, it’s the will of the people. If you win, you cheated.”
- Morons and Liars
Fascists in general
- Morons and Liars
Cry harder Bitch
“It’s only fraud if we lose!”
- Republicans
I’m honestly surprised that this old refrain hasnt been shouted kore. Republicans never believe that the people don’t support them.
Also known as the desperate moron defense
Bye Felicia
At the same time that the entire country said a loud fuck you to maga, only her race was fraud. Fucking joke loser.
Sore loser. This disgusting woman would destroy the United States if she could with her fascist nightmare theocratic ideology.
Wolf cried the child. Wolf wolf wolf
I was watching 9News with Kyle Clark all night on election night. At no point was she within 1 percentage point on election night. She was down like 3% all night. Not sure how she thinks this is a weird trend, considering now more of the more likely to be Republican voters are trickling in from voting on election day in person.
At one point, the local correspondant at her election night campaign event pointed out how much fun she was having for someone that was losing the election. She was slamming Busch Lights all night and swing dancing with her boyfriend.
Kyle Clark pulled out a zinger and said "I’m not sure if I’m really allowed to say this on local news, but we had a saying in college: Boozin’, even if we’re losin’ " 😂
Source I guess:
As an aside, I like that news team:
- Wired phone cords under chonky headsets FTW.
- Novel way of stalling for 30 seconds while on live tv.
- “The trump agenda for a deep red district is a very appealing agenda to run on. In a swing district like CO-8 the trump agenda was a bit of an excrement sandwich for Gabe Evans. It was just tough for him to chew on or serve to other people.” (https://youtu.be/B31ZJcPl_3Y?t=10842)
- “Kyle Clark, this one’s on you, OK buddy.” (https://youtu.be/B31ZJcPl_3Y?t=13289)
I doubt she actually believes what she’s saying unless she thinks that more people voting for democrats than her in her gerrymandered riding is impossible.
If the voters don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Keep yer stick on the ice
I want to make a joke about that being a Red Blue quote (instead of it being a Red Green quote). heh.
