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segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 19 hours ago

linkedin slop that never happened

hexbear.net

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linkedin slop that never happened

hexbear.net

segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 19 hours ago
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  • durruticore [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 hours ago

    Linkedin truly contains the dumbest material on the internet

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    12 hours ago

    christian music is offensive because it’s so terrible.

    also, how am i gonna get this Men’s Intermediate Twerking class pumped up at 8am on a Wednesday?

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    18 hours ago

    This person’s dom told them they have to write I WANT YOU TO NUT IN MY BUTT on LinkedIn as a punishment for their disobedience and this is the only way they could come up with to get away with writing that.

  • ThermonuclearHoxha [comrade/them, mirror/your pronouns]@hexbear.net
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    14 hours ago

    I can personally attest this actually happened, and then OOP found the light of Allah and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada on the spot.it-is-known

    • Seasonal_Peace [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 hours ago

      Converting to Islam in the holy month of Ramadan, what a blessed start into a new life.

  • BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    Unironically a song about consensual sex is infinitely less offensive than the patriarchal, homophobic, colonialist, child-abusing, thought-policing abomination that is Christianity

  • JustSo [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    18 hours ago

    I WANT YOU TO

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    18 hours ago

    I refuse to go to a gym unless they’re blasting Georgian chants.

    • anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml
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      17 hours ago

      Pie Iesus domine clunk

      • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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        8 hours ago

        Dona eis requiem clunk

        • anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml
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          2 hours ago

          😂

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    NUT IN MY BUTT

    • MayoPete [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      17 hours ago

      Compromise…

      nut in my butt… for JESUS

      • AnarchoAnarchist [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        16 hours ago

        https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY

        • HexReplyBot [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
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          16 hours ago

          I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

          • yewtu.be
          • inv.nadeko.net
          • yt.artemislena.eu
          • piped.video
    • LeninsBeard [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      19 hours ago

      The lesser known sequel to Slob on my Knob

      • take_five_moments [any]@hexbear.net
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        19 hours ago

        dog if that gym was playing triple 6 idk i’d go

    • goferking (he/him)
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      19 hours ago

      Ngl sounds like it would keep people pumped up. Unlike most if not all Christian music

  • MayoPete [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 hours ago

    He said his name was Jesus

    When I’m done he’ll be saying Oh God

    You about to be crucified by my holy rod

    JESUS IS COMING

    Cuz I balls deep in him

    • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      17 hours ago
      [NSFW]

      • culpritus [any]@hexbear.net
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        16 hours ago

        The Holey Trinity doing a Devil’s Triangle is quite a divine apparition to receive.

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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          8 hours ago

          It’s just masturbation though.

  • iByteABit [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 hours ago

    Then I put my headphones on, because I know how powerful nutting in my butt is and I won’t allow that in my daydreams

    • ClassIsOver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      14 hours ago

      I definitely won’t post it publicly on LinkedIn so other people will know I’m thinking about it

  • culpritus [any]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    I am married Christian man that goes to the gym regularly. I posted “I want you to NUT IN MY BUTT” on LinkedIn. Plz send me DMs.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    The closest thing that has ever happened to this was the time I was at Planet Fitness and I used the ‘Suggest a song’ feature on the app to get them to play Just One Fix by Ministry

    And they did

    And all the seniors who were working out without headphones or ear buds went john-agony

  • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    cmon dude, nutting in butts is what gyms are all about

    also most of that story was irrelevant to his point

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      17 hours ago

      nutting in butts is what gyms are all about

      The Village People song they don’t want you to hear.

  • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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    19 hours ago

    deadlifting to underoath and switchfoot

    • Nondiegetic (any) @lemmygrad.ml
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      18 hours ago

      Underoath isn’t Christian (now), and they have a lot of solid metalcore.

      • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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        17 hours ago

        true, but i just think it’s funny to work out to this volcel anthem

        • CHOPSTEEQ@lemmy.ml
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          14 hours ago

          I will not tolerate slander for the only wall to wall banger Underoath album. Let this be a warning.

        • Nondiegetic (any) @lemmygrad.ml
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          16 hours ago

          Lol fair enough!

        • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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          14 hours ago

          for those curious i don’t have anything against switchfoot either, not a fan but i do like the Two Songs (you know which ones)

        • HexReplyBot [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
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          17 hours ago

          I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

          • yewtu.be
          • inv.nadeko.net
          • yt.artemislena.eu
          • piped.video
  • sexywheat [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    And then everybody clapped

    • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      18 hours ago

      The manager was none other than Albert Mandela Einstein

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