Didn’t have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they’re neat and they taste good.
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taking about assimilationists and patriarchy
I’m tired of this genre of posts I keep seeing on other sites where they’ll say something like “trans people existing doesn’t affect you” or like “no one is asking you to change your beliefs, just to treat others with respect” or did stuff like that.
Trans people (and queer people in general) existing IS a threat to the gender system, and so is a threat to people deeply invested in it. I DO want people to change thier deeply held beliefs. I am a radical, I hate society, I want to change it, I want to destroy patriarchy. Assimilationism is not a path to liberation.
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“no one is asking you to change your beliefs, just to treat others with respect”
This one in particular, like no your beliefs are literally just wrong and unfounded and should be changed. The whole “treat people with respect even if you disagree” thing is such bullshit, at least in this case. You can’t “respect” me if you think (whatever horrible transphobic thing you can imagine). Respect isn’t not calling people slurs.
Yeah, it’s just liberal bullshit.
What we actually need is a gender cultural revolution
Real!! I understand wanting to be stealth and just be cis, but tbh I can’t help but think the trans people assimilating are losing some of the most important parts of being trans. It’s something special, not something to hide away.
It’s something special, not something to hide away
Agree! I love being trans!
And I understand wanting to be safe and wanting to not have to deal with transphbic comments, worry about violence, etc. But assimilation isn’t a real path towards that, only dismantling patriarchy is.
dysphoria/suicide
Not everyone considers it something special. I fucking hate being trans, I just see it as a terrible curse and a burden I’ll have to bear for the rest of my life. I’ll never be able to have kids, I’ll likely never find a boyfriend, much less get married. Having to waste so much time and money on transitioning. There is no joy, only terrible dysphoria for me, and the thought of having to be trans for the rest of my life makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve already decided that if I’m not 100% stealth by the age of 25 then I’ll off myself.
I agree. It’s like when people post the left-handed graph. Sure it’s probably correct that once society stops being structurally and culturally transphobic, there will be a cap on how many trans people there are (maybe 3% of population IDK?). But if the rate of trans people was literally growing exponentially so that at some point in the future 100% of people would be trans, there would be nothing wrong with that. Society would have to adjust but we’ve done so for other stuff.
Once I wrapped my mind around my own transness it became significantly less clear to me that there would be an upper cap. I would be completely unsurprised if a world without gender oppression saw the vast majority of people bending gender in some way to suit their own expression. And yeah that sounds freaking awesome if you ask me. Or even just not having gender at all
What’s the left-handed graph? I’m not familiar.
Personally, I imagine that, in a society that was truly free of gender-based oppression and where people weren’t forced into gender at birth, most people wouldn’t even have a gender (though probably a few people would, like as a hobby kinda?). But I could be totally wrong on that. I think you can really only guess how many people would be trans or whatever else once so the bullshit is removed: we’re too deep in the bullshit to have any real idea.
This graph. The idea being once discrimination is removed the true value is revealed and stable. People use it to compares to rates of being gay or trans.
But my problem with it is it suggests there’s an upper limit on being gay or trans, which is probably true, but it would be also fine if there wasn’t.
I agree we’re too deep in it to have an idea. That said 3% is a number that keeps popping up in cultures around the world with more tolerant views to being transgender/trans adjacent. Like Samoa with fa’afafine.
Ahhhhh, that makes sense.
3% seems pretty low to me, but the majority of people I know are non-binary trans people, so my perspective might be skewed.
Most western studies put the trans population around 0.5-1%. I tend to think like most researchers this is lower than the true number, due to discrimination, people being closeted, eggs not allowed to crack etc.
Population statistics are weird because 3% is actually a big number in terms of how many people that is and how many people have met someone etc. Individuals are going to know more of their ingroup though. Like Jewish people are 2.4% of the US population but their immediate circles are going to be majority Jewish.
Anyways it’s just a number I keep seeing come up for rates of being third gender, two-spirited or any other non western trans populations.
My vibes based feeling is if all barriers were eliminated (and society still had gender) it would be 10% like the anime Dirty Pair. But that’s solely vibes.
Hmm, maybe I need to watch dirty pair, lol.
My 100% vibes based analysis is that 0.5-1% and 3% are both low. Both for the reasons you mentioned, but also because I feel like in a more open society there would be a lot more agender, non-binary (non-trinary? for societies with a 3rd gender), people doing thier own gender, etc. Like even in a society with a third gender, while that’s better than just two, there is still a lot of pressure to be one of those three, yeah? In guess I feel like too many studies shit trans people still are too binary focused. But idk. Do you work in stats? You probably know more on this than me
You should it’s neat.
I mean it obviously depends on the place because a third gender can range from just a different name for trans women or all gender non congruence, but I’d agree the number is probably higher.
I have worked in epidemiology and public health which basically just lets me know how much I don’t know about stats.
In the future I want, questions about the “true number” of trans will be about as meaningful as questions about the true number of Monster Hunter Wilds players. Like, a lot of people played it and last week it was more than this week but next week an update will drop so people will play it again.
Same. Like, if I wasn’t forced into a gender from birth, and there was no social pressure to have one, then if I did still decide that I want breasts, to be on estrogen and not testosterone, then would I even be trans in anything like the way I am now? Or would that be more like getting a tattoo or piercing is now.
Like in the future i want, things would be so different, I don’t think the categories we have now would even apply (for the most part, at least)
Chat… The date did NOT go well, we had a lot in common, had good conversation, and he was really attractive, but near the end he basically just came out and said he was ‘dating’ multiple people and wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, in spite of the fact that I literally told him that I was looking for a serious, monogamous, relationship beforehand. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 Then he, very clumsily, all but asked when we should meet up for sex cuz he ‘doesn’t like going on too many dates and becoming friends with the person’ - his words 🙄
Fucking epic. At least this was the normal kind of guy being an asshole instead of the transphobic kind. I actually kinda appreciate that he treated me poorly in the same way he treats his cis-women dates! XDDDD
Dudes rock.
And another day that I’m glad that I’m
.I’m sorry you have to deal with those pieces of shit.
Trust me, I’m sorry too… 😂
doesn’t like going on too many dates and becoming friends with the person
he did you a favor by saying it directly and letting you know what kind of person he was at least so you didn’t waste your energy.
how frustrating!
doesn’t like […] becoming friends with the person
the most massive red flag of all time good lord. even aside from the fact that he met up with you under false pretenses
Really sorry to hear that he turned out to be shitty and kinda gross.
bottom surgery
It is incredible already to have a vagina, and wow does this healing process hurt.
May you have a swift recovery :meow-hug:
Thank youuuu.
Congrats! And hope for a quick recovery.
Thank you so much!
I’ve been through it myself; I know how painful it can be. Just remember that as bad as today might be, it’s the worst pain it’s ever going to be. Each day is a bit better than the one before.
- Honestly, it is not so bad thus far, and the immediate euphoria and relief post op are outweighing the discomfort by far.
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Starting dilating tomorrow, and my god do I look forward to having this catheter out.
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Ain’t that the real irony? You go through full SRS. You figure, “I’ll never stand to pee again.” Then, immediately after SRS, you’re stuck with a catheter bag for a few days. How do you empty it? You stand in front of a toilet and drain it! For the first few days after SRS, you have to pee standing up, even if you never did before! Don’t tell me the universe doesn’t have a sense of irony.
It’s finally out and everything just keeps getting better.
Yup! And don’t get too disheartened by how things look down there. You’re just a few days post-op. Everything’s swollen and sore. You’re recovering from a major surgery. The swelling will end and things will look less and less like a horror show with each passing day. Don’t even try to judge things until you’re a few months post-op.
Also, if you do get a bit depressed, that’s also normal. Post-op depression is extremely common for all forms of surgeries. You’re in pain, you’re hopped up on painkillers, you’re sleep deprived, and your body is freaking out because it has a ton of healing to do. It’s natural to feel some level of depression. If anything, maybe your body knows you need to be still and move slowly in order to heal, and what better way to encourage that than to make you a bit depressed?
Anyway, no idea if you’ll experience any kind of post-op malaise, some do, some don’t. But if you do, just remember it’s extremely common. Post-op depression can hit trans people even harder than other surgeries because of all the cultural baggage and judgment that’s attached to bottom surgery. If you’re not mindful, it’s really easy to experience a common surgical after-effect and for your pain-killer addled brain to convince itself that “oh god, this was a mistake, what have I done???!!!” If you experience any depression, just try to keep this in mind, accept it for what it is, and reserve any judgment on the success of the surgery until well after the initial recovery period. If necessary, recognize that in your current state, you simply may not be capable of forming rational opinions on some things. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Not sure if any of this is helpful. Just trying to provide what little advice I can based on my own experience. If it’s totally off base, feel free to ignore it.
Regardless, congrats again. I’m so happy for you! Remember, if nothing else, you have now achieved something that no one can ever take from you. No matter what happens going forward, you will never in your life have to deal with that source of dysphoria and pain ever again. It was this thought that really got me through my initial post-op period. If life went really bad, I could end up homeless, living on the street, denied medication, or even in jail. I didn’t know what the future would hold; I still don’t. But I did know, and I do know, with 100% absolute certainty, that I would NEVER and will NEVER have to face that particular pain ever again. And that is something that no one can ever take from you now. Especially in times as tumultuous as these, as scary as the world now is, I, even now, find some real comfort in that. I’m 12 years post-op, and that still gives me some comfort. I know that no matter what happens, I will never experience bottom dysphoria or face my body remasculinizing ever again. No one can ever take that away from me. They can put me in the ground, but they can never force me back into a masculine box. In this, I am free.
Congrats! How far along are you? I’m hoping to have bottom surgery next year, my surgeon’s schedule is bonkers
Just shy of a week!
Congrats! How far along are you? I’m hoping to have bottom surgery next year, my surgeon’s schedule is bonkers
transphobia
When I wasn’t looking one of my students left me what looked like a wedding invitation which I thought was weird but when I opened it it was a freaking religious thing telling me to stop being gay and give my life to Jesus. It referred to me as a son of God all the way through and every time it put SON in all caps.
I don’t want to let them win but I’ve been feeling discouraged all day ever since.
I scored big time today. One of my profs is retiring at the end of this semester and he pulled me into his office and told me to take as many books from his bookshelf as I wanted
needles n stuff
Did my first DIY injection yesterday. I was kinda anxious before if i could pull through because i’ve never shot up anything, but i had some of my friends around to support me and it seems i’m more cold blooded than i thought, even got told i have a steady hand and that everbody else present had a harder time during their first try. Haven’t felt this much like a big girl since my first laser session.
congratsssss!!! proud of u
That’s amazing! You’re crazy capable for having a steady hand at it.
more needles and stuff
That’s awesome! I got lucky and my DIY source provided a transdermal solution, but still trying to work on needles, to start injections. I struggle with needles so fuckin bad. I take emgality for migraines that’s just subcutaneous, and that difficult even with the auto injection. 😭
Autoinjectors hurt more ime. Still free-hand is more anxiety-inducing.
I miss my little man :(almost 4 weeks post-ffs
Most of the swelling is down. I’m very slowly regaining feeling in the areas that were previously numb. It feels like when novocaine wears off, and the pins and needles sensation is most mild except this sensation is extended over several… um… I hope just weeks. No pain in my lips or chin or inside mouth or it’s low-level enough where I can ignore it. There’s mild pain on my scalp primarily along the sutures. They’re still sore to the touch so I’m trying to sleep on my back which is very unnatural to me. Besides the sleep deprivation, I’m pretty much back to pre-surgery energy levels and have honestly been for a week already. I’m fighting the urge to go out and be active when I should still be resting.
I’ve started messages and silicone strips for the only visible scar and these treatments have already had effect. Minoxidil for the transplanted hair and obviously it hasn’t been long enough usage to have visible hair regrowth but it has slowed down shock loss.
Now that the swelling is down and my vision is back, I can look in the mirror and appreciate the results. And yeah. The struggle was worth it. I love the changes, looking into a mirror and seeing my face now is euphoria-inducing. I dunno think I’m kinda hot now too… I can’t wait until the hair grows back and the healing process is fully complete. I’ll be unstoppable
I found myself back to full power really at 2 month mark. It’s such a life changing surgery.
After a month it’s still that bad? Wow, that’s brutal.
Full recovery is 12 months, mostly for remaining swelling and hair regrowth for the last 6 months. Honestly the worst part is the first 3 days. Afterwards it gets a little bit better every day. I feel amazing compared to 2 weeks ago
Correction: It’s slightly less brutal.
bottom surgery euphoria
Catheter is finally out, and I am officially part of sit to piss gang, or at least squat and pray gang. Everything so far has not been as bad as I feared, and so much better than I hoped. I already love having my vagina so much.
I want this outfit, I want this hair.bottom surgery posting
About a week post operative now, and I have never felt so comfortable in my body in my life. I didn’t think that I had that much bottom dysphoria, but now that is just completely gone, and I’m still so early in recovery. I already love having a vagina so much, ya’ll.
There’s 2 thing I would have NEVER expected as a teenager:
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That I’m a woman
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That I would join a knitting group (well not yet. I still have to wait a few weeks)
I was looking for a new hobby and thought I would give it a try, because I found crocheting quite enjoyable as a child and I REALLY want some nice, custom sweaters.
But holy moly is yarn expensive.
(perfect emoji lol)I just spent 100€ for 2 circular needle pairs, some basic tools and 22 skeins of wool, and almost all of those things were on sale. Like, it’s legit cheaper to just buy a sweater, unknit it and use that as a source of wool, because the prices in the fashion industry are just that insanely low.
Prime example of how ridiculous capitalism is.
Yarn is so expensiiiivvvveeeeeee and then before you know it you have saved up a ton of one off or two off skiens and need to find small projects to knit
I’ve already bought a bunch of one-off skeins.
But I can use them for practice or experimenting, I guess.
Experimenting is always fun!
Congrats on finding a hobby group, and having a neat hobby in the first place!
Thank you.
Yeah, my social worker has tried to get me to join one for 5 years now, but I never did until now because of dysphoria kicking my ass.
how fun!!
I hope it will be, because usually I hate monotonous tasks. But if I can listen to stuff or chat with others at the same time, I think I will love it.
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My fiancée didn’t like the name “girl bag” for my balls
probably counts as dysphoria
I can not for the life of me get a word or phrase for them I don’t hate
Maybe I just hate them tbh
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Maybe I just hate them tbh
pawbably dat *hugggies*
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Yea it is, tbh was just thinking earlier about when I’d be able to get an orchi and if I’ll be able to talk my parents into letting me put it on their insurance before I get booted from it (a while from now, not even out atm)
oof just turned someone else’s post into my dysphoria post, should have just vbented earlier. whatever ig.
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No worries! Feel free to vent all you want
I’ve been really wanting an orchi lately too
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Thank you for understanding
Its the only surgery I know I want
/fucking need, won’t be for ages though… at least from what I feel like I’ve heard its not terribly expensive as far as that kind of thing goes. Hopefully I guess…dysphoria
but god they are actually so fucking disgusting I hate it. Kinda the least of my worries atm too which sucks. Guess being trans just is that way though.
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I’m on disability, I need to figure out what, if anything, I can get my shitty privatized state medicaid plan to pay for. God I wish I had gotten off my ass and started the process earlier. Who knows how long social security and medicaid are gonna be around.
They are kinda gross. They get in the way too. M
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Oh :/ yea that is a rough spot to be in, wishing you the best. Wish I got off my ass and started doing shit earlier too
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I just call them “the girls” lol
the county im in sent me a invitation letter for cervical cancer screening
it’s kinda affirming in a way tbh
