Hiiii!
Today: a short yap about computer hardware:
Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.
Computers are fun! (and expensive)
Join our public Matrix server!
https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
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spoiler
Every fucking day. It’s something that haunts me and will do so the rest of my life.
There’s nothing more I want to do with my life than to create one and raise it. It feels like my whole life’s purpose and I can never fulfill it and it kills me on the inside. Such a strong maternal instinct that can never be fulfilled.
To be honest, this feeling is generally a very central part of my dysphoria and severe depression most of the time. It hurts. A lot.
spoiler
Yess you get it. It feels so fucking terrible, just a big black hole in my life. Just knowing it’s impossible no matter what I do absolutely destroys me. I just find myself wondering what I’m even doing with my life, like what is the meaning of all this bullshit when I’ll never get to achieve even a fraction of my dream.
It has also become one of the absolute worst parts of my dysphoria. I’d be able to cope with the rest of my awful body if I could at least have kids, but as it is there is no upside to this awful existence. It’s literally just misery through and through.
I hope you are doing okay in spite of the dysphoria❤️