The only things I connect with being trans are anger, shame and disgust. I’d prefer to never have been born. Sorry for the negativity, I’m just in a bad period currently.

Thanks for the kindness💕

Idk, I guess I just don’t want to deal with any more trans issues. I hate being trans with all my being and I don’t want to be reminded of it. Also, I wouldn’t want my hatred of being trans to affect a partner of mine. Generally I suppress what is necessary to not out myself, e.g I’m slightly bisexual, but I won’t date women.

I can definitely see how it would be nice to not have to worry about transphobia and also have an inherent understanding, but I’d prefer a partner to never bring up me being trans, I hate talking about it or being reminded of it (to such a degree that I’ve considered cutting off anyone who knows I’m trans including my family even though they are supportive)

But idk, it’s not like I’ll completely rule out dating another trans person, but it’s unlikely due to my dysphoria and the fact that I don’t know any trans people IRL. I’ll have to see what the future brings😅

But of course the usual came up about how you can’t know if a woman in Thailand is a woman🙄

Then the guy I went on a date with said that being trans couldn’t be healthy because trans people have to take hormones and cut their dick off, and he was sure that trans people would at most live to 50 years of age🙄

And then they finished off by misgendering Elon Musk’s trans daughter and saying that she fumbled the bag by disowning Elon🙄

It’s honestly such a terrible feeling. I hope you are doing okay in spite of it❤️

Yess you get it. It feels so fucking terrible, just a big black hole in my life. Just knowing it’s impossible no matter what I do absolutely destroys me. I just find myself wondering what I’m even doing with my life, like what is the meaning of all this bullshit when I’ll never get to achieve even a fraction of my dream.

It has also become one of the absolute worst parts of my dysphoria. I’d be able to cope with the rest of my awful body if I could at least have kids, but as it is there is no upside to this awful existence. It’s literally just misery through and through.

I hope you are doing okay in spite of the dysphoria❤️

Idk I’m stunted due to anxiety and depression, not sure I’d be perfect for anything other than being a work-a-holic. I kind of hope I die of a heart attack in my 30s or something, until then I can cope by sinking all my time into studying and working.

I’d never judge another woman to not be a proper woman. I direct those feelings towards myself because I am disgusted by myself and my body.

Idk I should probably just go to bed😅

Yaa I get you, I didn’t care about relationships or having kids at all pre-transition. I felt so disconnected from my life.

Yeah Denmark is an awful country. Idk I don’t really care about these thoughts, I feel kind of messed up like sometimes I actively want to get worse, but I managed to mostly get my life back on track so I’ll hopefully not screw it up again.

I don’t think I’m sick/dysfunctional enough to qualify for help by social workers. From the outside looking in I’m highly functional and most of my friends are shocked by how many things I manage to balance in my day to day life. And I don’t trust the municipality either, so I won’t seek help there either, it’s too risky to do before I hopefully get the last surgery covered.

I might be able to save it up, but currently I’m saving up for 2nd FFS and possibly some other surgeries. The government also shafted me with a recent reform, so it complicates it a bit. I was thinking of moving to the US after finishing my degree, but I wouldn’t be able to save much there for at least the first 5-6 years, so I’ll have to decide on what to do as I don’t want to stay in Denmark if possible.

Yeah I hate dating honestly, it’s so terrible. Either the guy is a chaser or he’ll reject me for being trans😭

I guess I see what you mean, but idk I still feel like I’m not a woman even though I live my life as one and am seen as one. Generally I don’t care what society thinks of me, most of my dysphoria seems inherent and stems from my body. E.g. the thought of having a prostate and XY chromosomes makes me feel sick to my stomach, or looking in the mirror and seeing how puberty mangled my body. If I had the choice between life as a trans woman or never having been born, I’d rather never have been born honestly.

Thank you, but I doubt there will be a second date after I tell him that I’m trans :(

And sorry for the negativity😅

I can’t get professional help for at least the next 8 months as I’ll have a very high risk of being denied surgeries if I have any mental health issues listed in my health journal. And generally I don’t trust the healthcare system in my country at all so I’ll likely never seek help for my mental health. And I’m not actively suicidal at all, so I’m not in any danger right now.

Yeah, but the life ahead of me seems like a waste of time. Idk what I’m supposed to look forward to, like I have career aspirations and other things I want to do, but overall it seems meaningless. I’ll never be cis which is the one thing I truly want.

I’m not really hopeful in regards to uterus transplants. I’ll probably be in my 30s if it ever becomes a reality and I’d likely be out of consideration. And knowing my country it would not be offered at all.

I’ve thought about adoption, but adoption seems to be rife with issues. I recall reading posts by people who were adopted who were basically against adoption, but idk. The main issue also seems to be that adoption in my country takes 3+ years for single people and being a single parent is very tough.

Idk I guess my mood is scuffed since I’ll have to bring up being trans to a guy I went on a date with recently tomorrow and statistically I’ll be rejected, so yaa another wonderful thing about being trans…

Yeah I definitely get that, but at least cis people get to be cis. I’d honestly give anything to be cis, if reincarnation was proven to be real I would kill myself instantly as I see no worth it this current life honestly, it feels like a waste of my time.

I felt the same growing up, I didn’t really care about relationships or kids, but now it’s often on my mind. I don’t really hold a lot of hope in regards to uterus transplants, I’ll most likely be too old if it ever happens, and with the backsliding of trans rights and general animosity towards trans people basically everywhere it seems like a pipe dream.

Idk it might just be one of those days. Tomorrow I’ll be mentioning that I’m trans to the guy I went on a date with recently and statistically I’ll get rejected afterwards so that doesn’t help my mood a whole lot X_X