Negativity is okay, it’s certainly your feelings! Feel them. I would challenge you on your despair though. You are already a woman (and a real one) and you are already everything we need. The time will come where everything that has happened to you will have made you the perfect person for some crisis or some relationship.

I would challenge your self-conception of “not being a real or proper woman” because of XY chromosomes or other body stuff. What constitutes hegemonic femininity and the feminine ideal and the feminine mystique is a construction of a patriarchal and racist society - proper hegemonic femininity is very white and very rich. There are women, who are cis, who have XY chromosomes but are androgen insensitive. You’d never tell them they’re not women - do not tell yourself that. You’d never tell a black woman with broad shoulders who dresses butch she doesn’t count as a woman - to not tell yourself your a woman because you feel the weight of puberty or preusmably seeming secretly masc.

Grieving over infertility is normal. You’re in good community with many women, cis and trans.