You know Kash’s reception is gonna be a banger
Coke fueled whisky binge watching the dancers, harassing everyone in sight. Someone is going to be puking before 10pm and ends up in a hospital for alcohol poisoning.
I give them 12-14 months.
He comes home from a long day at work and she’s not even there. In fact - all her stuff is missing. What the fuck! He calls her. She says she’s at a hotel and he should not use FBI agents to find out which one. She asks him a question.
“You know what today is?”
“Yeah.”
“What is it?”
“It’s… I know… It’s…”
“It’s our anniversy! And you forgot!”
“No I didn’t.”
“You did!”
“I didn’t. I was using code. They might be listening.”
“Can you tell the truth about anything?”
“I’ve never lied to you, baby.”
etc
Pete’s gonna start crying about his kids to a very uncomfortable stripper
My friend tried ediibles for the first time as the groom due to anxiety, and greened out when his father in law gave the toast.
This would be even better.
never try something “for anxiety before a big life event” if it’s the very first time!
I wonder famous musicians will play. I can’t imagine what kind of music he likes.
KID ROCK
He’s my go-to joke for the GOP but my first wild guess was maybe Kash has a weakness for shitty hip-hop.
prediction: what brings an end to his public service will be when he accidentally fucks some paperwork and tries to get the FBI business office to cover the bachelor party cocaine line item on the invoice, and not the security/transportation line items.
Disbands financial crimes division for Tahitian wedding
When the photographer tells you to “think some happy thoughts and give me your biggest smile” and he blanks out dreaming about whiskey, coke and horse porn and she thinks about how many people from her highschool have cPTSD because of her.
What’d she do in high school?
she seems like the kind of person who will perform a song at her own wedding
She is a singer or something isnt she? You’re probably right. Hopefully they make commemorative CD’s of her music to pass out to the guests or something super lame like that.
This is because of the bestiality thing
lol ew
lol ewe
Thanks, I try
Aww. They look so happy. Im kinda sad Im not invited to the wedding …but I will manage
He seems like he’d have a much happier life doing real estate, selling coaching on the side, being the biggest AI supporter you know, and using peptides from Mexico. What the fuck is he doing in the FBI?
Lowkey Kash looks like the kind of dude who would abandon his kids without a second thought for a woman marrying him. I bet you hes down bad and does whatever you ask (derogatory).
I give this marriage 4 years absolute tops.
Sitting at their table would be like watching two furbies talking to each other.
Honestly I’m just shocked both eyes are staring at the camera.
Don’t do the lib thing and insult people for physical traits they were born with when there are so many real faults of character you can focus on.
They 100% edited the pic
