When something bad or annoying happens to me and I’m in a shitty mood, I say (out loud or whisper to myself) “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to anybody!” and I usually instantly get over myself
Being nice to people. You come out of interactions feeling better, and you often get more out of people by being nice.
I learned this from my dad. The hardest part is to be nice to absolute assholes, but I’ve seen it does improve relations when you have to work alongside them.
Yes, I’m pissed that I have to mod my behaviour to be extra-nice to these dicks. Yes, I do enjoy that they coordinate better with me after I’ve nicely indicated where the last joint effort could have been better with that coordination.
It’s all about how we be professional knowledge workers work and coordinate like adults and express disappointment and a wish for improvement, I guess.
No screen time first and last half hour of the day, it makes a huge difference.
Also, my phone is far away from me when I go to sleep, though that one is preference but it does help to not think about things I could search online
I have a personal motivational tool I call “dopamine starve and reward”. Basically avoiding things that give a false feeling of accomplishment and allowing myself to feel good when something has been accomplished. It’s handy for big projects around the house. Number one is to not talk about what I plan to do (starve) until I’ve actually taken a big step (reward). Another is to not buy everything i need right off the bat (starve) instead buying materials as I need them (reward). This notion came to me after working for a small family business. The owners would have a project in mind, go buy all the materials, drop them off then go have lunch at the bar and talk about all the stuff they were going to do. Then nothing would get done. I saw this in myself and learned to avoid false feelings of accomplishment
When I can’t find something in the house after searching for a few minutes, I make a conscious decision to give up and take another approach - go buy the missing tool again, use a different material, whatever. The point is to decide it doesn’t matter where the thing is. Most of the time I immediately look right at whatever I was looking for - as in within a few seconds. Family members are used to hearing me say out loud, “I’m just gonna go to Tru-Value and get another - Oh, here it is!” It works that fast and is very reliable.
My theory about this is that part of my brain knows where the item is all along, but enjoys the treasure hunt and won’t let the information come to the conscious level. But once I sincerely decide to give up the search - it has to be a genuine decision, there’s no faking it - that part of my brain knows the game is over and reveals where the thing is. But who knows, I’m no psychologist.
There was this CGP Grey episode “You are two” from some time ago which is a great watch, and I truly love the idea of your brain just messing with you.
This happens to me too. I usually have to say ‘where the fuck are my glasses?’ and then I find them immediately.
I always assumed it was because the world is really quantum and it doesn’t know to show you the item until you tell it to.
Maybe we are living in a simulation and it doesn’t show the item until you speak it.
Amphetamines
Fr people posting shit like “I’m nice and think positively” don’t understand the term “cheat code”.
Drugs are a cheat code, “thinking positively” is work
After I come home from work, I want to be a solid lump of nothing. Instead to trick myself when I have tasks I need to do, I keep my work clothes on (including shoes) and it helps trick my brain that the tasks are just a continuation of my work day.
An extension of this is getting dressed normally to work from home. It also means that when you’ve finished for the day, you can get changed and feel switched off from work.
Yup. Even if I work from home, or do my taxes or whatever, I am much more productive if I take a shower and put on a clean T-shirt and pants. Sure it is more comfortable to sit around in my underwear, but that signals to my brain that what we do now is not important…
If you notice something needs to be done and the task takes less than five minutes, just do it.
The cheat code is to pretend your body is a mech and when you’re to lazy to go do the thing you just think about piloting a mech to go do the task. It feels like you aren’t doing anything just think the instruction and the mech does it.
⚠️Warning⚠️ This only works if you think mechs are cool.
How is “Don’t be lazy and procrastinate” a cheat code…?
About as dumb as “just buy a house” if you’re homeless.
I didn’t say it would work for everyone, but for whatever reason, it helps me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (and I’m also a huge procrastinator)
Yes, but it’s easy to get side tracked following this.
Hah, yeah. Still better than the alternative - doing nothing
“never leave a room empty-handed” if you are leaving a room look around for something that doesn’t below to that room take it with you and just move it somewhere close where it’s supposed to be, eventually it’s going to find it’s place.
I actually started doing that 4 years ago. Not as consistently as i should, but it really helped me get out of my depression hole. I kept uttering the phrase: if you see something, do something. I found it pretty amusing, and it worked (and still does) bit for bit.
Works with teaching kids to clean litterboxes, too! If you smell something, do something.
Especially if the reason you smell something is that you did something.
bonus: makes the people who live there think they have a poltergeist.
And if you can’t see anything that should leave the room, you know you’re doing pretty well!
ABC - Always Be Carrying
I learned this while working at a restaurant.
I do the same, its so nice not needing to worry as much with cleaning.
Think in softer language. Things you “should” do, or things that are “duties” might not give you the internal reward you deserve for accomplishing them, and almost certainly cause more mental suffering than you deserve. You can still recognize good (or at least better) decisions and goals, but using softer language makes it easier to give yourself grace for not having the strength to try, the recognition of effort when you try but fail, and the appreciation when you actually succeed.
Honestly, I think that helps me more than anything else my therapist ever suggested. Though maybe not as much as the prescription I received from my provider. My worst days are when I forget to apply that.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body, so stabbing oneself in the arm with a fork does wonders
When you’re kind to people or simply are polite, they help you.
I missed a flight once due to delayed connections. I went to the help desk, and in front of me, a rich guy was arguing with the company employee. He was rude and frustrated and left angry, having failed to get the upgrade or whatever he’d wanted. I was next in the queue and offered an empathetic smile and rolling of eyes, then politely explained my situation.
The clerk was clearly still pissed at the previous interaction and didn’t crack a smile but simply listened, then slid me over a new ticket for the next flight and winked. I thanked him and scuttled off. I decided to find a place to charge my phone and only then inspected the ticket to confirm how long I had until boarding.
It turns out he’d upgraded me to business class and given me full access to the lounge area where I could charge my phone in comfort and have all the free booze and snacks I want.
I swear everyone needs to work retail for a bit because that’s so painfully obvious once you’ve done a few weeks of it. I never went of my way to help someone who was being a dick
Or food service.
That’s not really a hack so much as the basic behaviour on which all human success is predicated.
Unless you see success as being a billionaire.
There’s no way for me to judge myself by that yardstick and not want to [redacted] myself in the grawlix.
Not even. Cooperation is the logically smart thing in long running games. You have to be disturbed and enjoy inflicting pain to do that.
So real. I ask the food truck guys “how you doing” rather seriously and they always give me a little more than everyone else. It’s such little effort to care, and try it seems make me stand out from others.
And even if they are paid to help you, it makes a big difference to if they put your task on the top or the bottom of their pile of stuff to do.
Or they take advantage of you
Possible but unlikely.
The net result is positive all the same.
I don’t know if this is cheat code or not but I try to be kind to the people above me, like my seniors, my teachers (not my parents though). Acting politely, trying to appreciate their work, seems to leave a good impression. It helped me in little tasks but I have yet to see how much it works further.
I used to do a lot of driving for work and it’s important to manage stress in traffic. Whenever someone would do something that aggravated me, I’d pretend that they did it for some silly reason and it helped me stay calm.
Someone cut you off? They must have have to shit so bad. Someone driving crazy fast? They’re trying to get to their wife before their girlfriend does.
I’ve done this, too. Driving super slow? They’ve got a 3-tier cake in the backseat.
I honestly try to do this. People have emergencies. I’ve blown through red lights and driven like a maniac to drive a friend to the hospital when I found him passed out on the lawn with a collapsed lung.
Ha! This is a great idea
Believe it or not, having a Tesla (bought in 2018) completely fixed this for me. I don’t get NEARLY as mad when someone is driving faster or in the left lane slowly. My car keeps distance and speed really well. It’s not aggravating to keep stepping on the breaks anymore. Any adaptive cruise will do this just fine.
When I think of something that happened during the day that was cringeworthy I tell myself, “You are so stupid!!”
When I catch myself doing that I now stop and say to myself, “No you’re not.”
Oddly, this derails the shame spiral and allows me to stay positive.
