Tradies to their apprentices

When you hit rock bottom and immediately get 13th stepped

Woke tinskins

I was going to say web admin but yours is good too.

The burglar broke in by knocking on the door and waiting for someone to come to the door and open it and then asking if they could come in and were let in and asked if they could just take stuff and the person said sure go nuts.

Charming…

What did Biden mean by this?

You underestimate the willingness of companies to take a loss to earn street cred.

I work in software but I have a side job working for an arborist, and you might have been joking but it’s legit a great industry to have a backup plan in.

Most arborists near me have more work than they can keep up with. You see, the thing about trees is, you trim them, wait a year, and the bastards grow back! It’s like a giant scam and the trees are all in on it!

It’s a pretty fun job too, if you’re relatively fit. You get to climb trees, throw logs into giant scary chippers, and you get first dibs on all the best gun and sword shaped sticks.

There’s bound to be an animal somewhere to go look at or pat.

My first job was unloading trucks at a meat storage facility before school, from 4am-6:30am, I was 13, but said I was 16. I got paid cash daily, off the books.

You know who else didn’t miss it?

A manic career thief turns back to his old ways after a long break, and his crimes prompt violent retaliation against his family. With no alternative, he turns to terrorism, arson, and eventually murder to protect his family and continue his criminal lifestyle.

I did that with mine immediately after getting it out of the box. Just desoldered the piezo speaker. It’s glorious. People ask “how do you know when it’s done?” Well, it just doesn’t go BRRRR anymore.

LG: “Diplomatic immunity!”

Anyone with a screwdriver: " It’s been revoked!"

Killing Skype was harder than killing old yeller

Is this the year I finally learn how to use GIMP?

A big part of my work is testing software, especially UI, and making Devs ragecry.

Daily intermittent fasting is a great way to save on your food and toilet paper expenditure.

In my country, there are a few things that are instant fail, eg exceeding the speed limit by more than 1km/h, that one usually gets me. Picking up your Mobile phone is an instant fail. Other faults are worth 1 point each, and 6 points is a fail. Things that earn a point are:

• not signalling for 30m or more before turning/changing lanes
• crossing your arms while steering round a corner
• letting the steering wheel slide through your hands while it comes back to centre
• not having both hands on the wheel while steering or otherwise moving forward normally

I add up the points when I notice, and usually end up failing.

I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket or traffic fine in more than 9 years though, so my self-monitoring does work well.