Lost my friend/workout partner this week, turns out they’re super pro cop so that’s a bummer, I’ve known them for years & don’t exactly hide my views so I dunno why it surfaced when it did and not earlier

a shitty relationship and other bad stuff kind off left me so depressed I stopped asserting myself, so consider this my training log.

Yesterday I told off people who had their car running right in my face so the gas fumes hit me, was mean to somebody very obviously staring at me. I got what I wanted and wasn’t unreasonably aggressive,

If anybody else wants to be added to the roll call, just let me know

I went to the gym twice, went rock climbing, and spent a weekend as a scout leader. These are good things.

I smoked too much weed, ate too much food, and didn’t get a job. I’ve been very dysphoric this past week, I hate my body a lot. These are bad things.

Tbh I just can’t imagine being someone who pursues any career. I don’t want my life to be about climbing ladders and getting promotions and networking. That sounds like the worst possible way to live my life.

Got an interview as a water poisoner at the Palantir data center for next week. It’s sad that I couldn’t be at the CIA monitoring leftists forever, but it’s an exciting time to be in my field of work and I want to keep doing it. I hope I get this one.

I’m currently on day 21 of reading every day

I also practiced meditation on 5 days in a row this week

Didn’t have enough energy for running this week so I hope I can get back on it next week.

Been hitting the gym ~3 times a week for about a month now, not only is it a good workout but it’s a good way to just spend some time with my friends. I’m enjoying it way more than I thought I would, I tried going to the gym back in highschool but it just didn’t click with me for whatever reason but now I’m having a blast

Had a huge setback with this place I think I interviewed well rejecting me. The email did the usual “we got soooo many qualified apparently so we knew we didn’t have to settle for you!” way to rub it in my best efforts still lose to everyone.

How am I supposed to get a job when I have to be the very very very best person in the world and every other worker is a hyper competent star with masters at Ivies and all that crap? And that’s the bare minimum?

It was another lazy week. I’m really not trying to do anything but not drink and at that I continue to succeed. Next week I will pirate more qualityslop.

This week went well, got some walking in finished a book picked up another book to start for the week. Did my plasma donations and lots of studying. I hit a snag with some hvac assessments and while I passed one easy the other one I still passed but I need to get back on it studying walk in freezers. No job still and the usual places I applied to stopped posting hvac jobs so it’s been rough still I’m happy I met some personal goals I was working towards.

Still practicing here, I got until April to level up as much as possible.

I think I want to tell my teacher that I don’t want to learn anymore latin stuff right now because my song repertoire is so weak. I need more songs under my belt. I know a lot of songs but I don’t realllly know them which is an issue.

I’m learning Moment’s Notice and Recordame right now. I want to get down Sandu, Stablemates, Night in Tunisia and Caravan.

I have a dozen or so tunes down, Airegin, Doxy, There Will Never Be Another You, Rhythmaning, Oleo, Bernie’s Tune, There is No Greater Love, Juju, ESP, One Note Samba, Voyage, My Shining Hour, Au Privave, Isotope and a bunch of easy baby songs I cant recall.

I can’t really solo on a blues without losing the form, I always stretch bars out with the ideas I have and I never follow the melody because “blues” are easy.