(obviously this only applies if shaving actually aligns with your gender presentation goals etc etc, this is a self-image thing not a callout for people who don’t want to or can’t)

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  • AcidSmiley [she/her]
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    141 year ago

    When i put on concealer this morning, my first thought was going for the rings underneath my eyes, and only after that did i care about looking for beard shadow and covering it up. Laser hair removal has brought me such a long way, it’s honestly amazing to see how things are finally coming together. I mean, i still worry a lot about my appearance, it’s just the way things are in a society that always judges femme presenting people by their looks, but outside of the bottom stuff i don’t think i’m actually dysphoric anymore? When i look back at where i was two years ago, where i am now, where i will be in two more years, it’s just a goddamn miracle.

  • @Alch_Fox@hexbear.net
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    111 year ago

    I remember shaving my body and absolutely loving it well before I figured out I was trans. I wondered to myself why I never did it before. I then proceeded to not do it again for years because of gender expectations. I always felt like it was expected of me to be hairy or have a huge beard or whatever. The prospect of shaving was scary because of that. I didn’t want to be singled out due to societal norms. So I didn’t do it again for probably 5 or 6 years.

    Then COVID happened and I could do it without worry. Because of it, I was able to experiment with all these thoughts I had throughout my life and just express myself the way I always wanted to. And then I realized how much I liked it. And now I am here as I am and I couldn’t be happier.

      • @Alch_Fox@hexbear.net
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        61 year ago

        I’m far into HRT and have gotten the most visible area lasered (face), so I’m fortunately well beyond the need for this advice. However, this could most certainly help others out there. Never thought of that as an excuse.

  • ElectronNumberSeven [she/her]
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    101 year ago

    Body and especially facial hair are like my largest sources of dysphoria. I hate it so much, looking in the mirror and seeing a mustache shadow no matter how hard I try to get rid of it makes me want to fucking die. I just want to be able to look at myself and be happy for once.

  • Duży Szef [he/him]
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    101 year ago

    I have to say, I’ve shaven my legs only because I was getting into amateur cycling.

    And honestly. Best decision of my life, even as a guy the feeling of being smooth is irreplaceable. After a few months of epilating my leg hair is very soft and nice to the touch, unlike for example my father’s. After winter I’m definitely doing that again.

    Get yourself an epilator, the feeling lasting for longer than just a day is worth the pain.

    • @Clusterfck
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      61 year ago

      I’m a cis dude and sweat a boatload. I tried shaving some of the areas I sweat the most from and, other than helping cutting down on the sweat, the feeling after shaving is phenomenal.

      • Duży Szef [he/him]
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        21 year ago

        It’s winter so not as often as I did. But the hair used to be gone for like a week, and then for another week it was short and soft. If I kept up with it, it would’ve probably been much longer before the hair grew back. Now it’s back to normal length but my legs aren’t as hairy as they would be for other men. Keep in mind that you should exfoliate your skin when epilating otherwise you’ll get ingrown hairs.

        Also getting hairs on the back of your leg is not only rather difficult but also fucking painful, especially on the back of biceps femoris and it’s surroundings. This is the place on my legs which have the darkest, hardest, roughest and most twisting hair of the entire leg. The very sensitive nerves are just the cherry on top :^) I suggest to those that can to get yourself a helping hand in removing hair from there, but it will be difficult for the other person to adjust to your pain tolerances. One time I tried alcohol (Drank it, didn’t apply it to skin. Never, ever fucking do that.) to try and weaken the pain, didn’t really help and it just worsened my fine motor skills. Didn’t try any other pain killers, I just went with it.

        The pain also gets much weaker and more tolerable with more epilations that you do, I’ve also found that taking things slow only makes them worse pain wise.

        Also make sure you have good lightning. You want to see every little hair on your leg with great detail as to not miss anything, under summer sunlight they tend to stand out like a sore thumb.

        But after all of that, the feeling of smoothness is really worth it.

        Also, in case you find yourself in a situation of bigotry or toxic masculinity you can always use these two great excuses: I’m a swimmer/cyclist.

        Anything else you’d like to know?

        • 🏳️‍⚧️ 新星 [she/they]
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          21 year ago

          you should exfoliate your skin when epilating otherwise you’ll get ingrown hairs

          Ah, yeah, that’s annoying.

          Also getting hairs on the back of your leg is not only rather difficult but also fucking painful, especially on the back of biceps femoris and it’s surroundings.

          Now I get why more guys don’t do this lol even toxic masculinity aside.

          Anything else you’d like to know?

          You mentioned it’s back to normal now. Do you think you would do it when you weren’t actively cycling?

          • Duży Szef [he/him]
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            21 year ago

            I did it long after I stopped, mainly because of the comfort. And yes, I’ll keep doing it in the warmer months.

            If the question is about my past, then I maybe would’ve tried it at least once. I love exploring into the unknown.

  • @whodatdair@lemm.ee
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    81 year ago

    Just remember that you’re your own biggest critic! You notice a lot about yourself that most people won’t - they’re busy going about their lives.

    If you live with a dog you won’t notice them age because the amount of change per day is so small. If your friend visits every couple of months, you’ll hear “my goodness look how big you’ve gotten!”

    You have been present for all your changes so they’re harder to notice. I have to remind my SO of this regularly. 💜

    A little bit of stubble in an area is harder to notice than you might think. My SO freaks if she forgets to shave her legs and meanwhile I’m just excited to rub them… 🤤🤣

    Even if she forgets her face, I can’t tell unless I touch and she’s convinced she looks like porcupine lady. 🦔

  • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
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    61 year ago

    my vibe is that the last wedding i went to i had both the longest hair and the largest beard in the wedding party. (i trust that i don’t care about my gender)

      • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
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        71 year ago

        well, i guess my approach to exploring gender has been to not cut any hair at all, but it’s something i think about regularly because of all the social norms surrounding it. but yeah, i just want to participate