Water is already my fave drink because Scotland.

Just going to work through this, but:

I already got ears, not sure what a tail would add. Seems like it might be inconvenient even. Pass.

I don’t need estrogen. If I somehow need it later, it’s readily available in forms other than pill. Pass.

I actually like my body hair, it’s soft and feels nice when people play with it. Pass.

Look $20 is $20 but come on, pass.

I’d have passed on a more competitive board because the person I want to find me attractive already does, but this is still just broadly useful. Taking this one.

The difference between the best pizza I have ever had and the best pizza I have ever made isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. It’s not like there isn’t a difference, but at it’s best it’s not exactly a mind blowing meal. Pass.

I was originally really high on water tasting and feeling like my favorite drink until I remember we use water for a lot more than drinking. Can you imagine cooking pasta in your favorite soft drink? Pass.

I can already talk to cats. They sometimes talk to me too. Mostly it’s “I want food” and “I want you to open this door”. I don’t need a pill for this. Pass.

Not having to sleep is potentially such a brutal monkey’s paw answer but I’m willing to risk it. Taking this one.

I guess I’ve got to circle back, and I’m going for master pizza chef. I almost went with $20, but I guess master pizza chef takes pizza from a fun thing I can make sometimes to a potentially marketable skill.

Cyan, Purple Blue and Black Pill!!

(assuming there’s no other effects…)

Cyan because… estrogen!! And I want to have as much emergency estrogen as possible on me, along with the syringes… It’d be cool.

Purple Blue, because like, that’d be cool I guess to have? I’m still figuring out if I am even attracted to anyone so this should solve it instantly and get me some new close partners~

Black because it’s OP and allows me to stay up both day and night so I can do stuff! Though, I wonder how you gain energy back now?? Maybe I can just have coffee…

edit: woops didn’t notice that, blue ≠ purple

1. It would be nice to not need sleep I guess, but it has a lot of implications. Do I just recuperate as if I’m sleeping at all times? Restitution and that sort of stuff.
2. Ever since I read Dragon Ball I’ve wanted a tail. I already have ears, and that’s how I’m going to interpret the prompt because I don’t want other types of ears.
3. I’d love to be a master pizza chef, would really rock, but I cannot pass up being able to talk to animals. Once again doing the thing of fussing over semantics “cats” does not specify housecat, so I’m deciding it means any member of the felidae^[1] family that can reasonably be described as a type of “cat” - Thus finally allowing me to speak to cougars
   Also I can radicalise wildcats and teach them about machines and sabotage.

Honorable mention to master chef, I’ve always wanted to be able to toss tha dough. Gotta take some courses I guess.
Double honorable to no body hair. I would take it, but I like my facial hair. Gotta get waxed bby

Pink: tea on tap? Yes please!
Purple: I’m gonna perfect the vegan pizza Black: time just for myself while my darling kids sleep sounds awesome. Also my wife only has to wake up to feed the baby. Amazing.

Also cool would be a male titties on demand pill. Grow boobs while you have a baby, but they recede after weaning. Rest of the body unaffected.

estrogen, talk with cats, you dont have to sleep

estrogen is great. not having to sleep would solve my ptsd sleep issues. talking with cats is useful for doing crime. water is already my favorite drink. i already am hairless. idgaf about people finding me attractive, tbh id prefer it if everyone outside of my SO just stopped noticing me. i already have more than 20 dollars (shocking). all humans already technically have ears and a tail. i wouldnt wanna be a master pizza chef, id want someone else to do it for me lol cooking still is annoying to do sometimes

Easy

1 no body hair 2 no sleep 3 estrogen because it is the only one I could healthily have happen without magic

hair cook and sleep, I make the best pizza 24/7 with no hair in it

For the Ligma Grindset™, I’ll take the dark green, purple, and black pills so I’ll start up my pizzeria venture and cook pizzas non-stop for my comrades-in-need.

$60 please!~

That blue pill kinda eliminates all issues I have with hair.

I’ve pulled enough all-nighters to sour me on the black pill.

Water’s close enough to my favorite drink if it’s not there already.

I don’t want to make pizza, so becoming a master chef would just mean a speedrun to retirement, where I’d be down to two effective pills.

I think cats might have some unpleasant things to say about being abducted and forced to live with one mammal from another species.

Estrogen, well, I can always just buy that after retiring at the top of my pizza game.

$20? But I wanted a peanut!

Red-purple-blue me.

water tastes like and is my favorite drink, free space

I’m not falling for another attempt to forcefem me all the pills are estrogen aren’t they

No more body/face hair, people who you find attractive find you attractive, and don’t have to sleep. I inject estrogen why would I take pills

Surprising how many people don’t care about no body/face hair dysphoria must just be a complete ***** for me or something. People want 20 bucks more then getting rid of that shit?? Facial hair is so fuckin scratchy???

1, 2, 9

Not having to sleep is a life and time extension of like +33%. I can do SO MUCH SHIT if I don’t have to sleep at all and it has no negative consequences. That time is just spent doing nothing, unconscious in a black void, basically not even existing,

Talking with cats sounds good on the surface but I suspect 95% of cats are assholes so it wouldn’t actually achieve much other than making me hate cats if they could say shit to me.