I value personality but I feel like my secret obsession with lady parts would only make others either back away slowly or run to get away from me.
I know that being attracted to them is normal but this feels next level.
Some of the lewd content that I collect is mundane, but some of it is more abstract and involves photographs of furniture, jewellery, desserts, and other things in… “interesting” shapes. Additionally, I do graphic design in my spare time and I have made some unusual creations inspired by lady parts, including a virtual pinball table.
I feel guilty about my obsession, not because it’s sexual, but because it sounds disturbing. Also, I feel like I must be a shallow person who is not interesting for more than five minutes. I certainly have a few other interests, but this secret one is special to me.
Is this an instant turn-off that I should hide as much as possible? I’ve seen jokes ridiculing guys for being breast-obsessed but I am too socially awkward to tell if it is more the obsession itself or the apparent disinterest in both personality and meaningful relationships that turns people off.
Update: I’m surprised at how many comments this thread received and how many users wanted to see my pinball table! I restricted it to private messages partly because I assumed that NSFW images were forbidden here, and partly because I used numerous other artists’ assets without permission (I had not intended to publish it anyway).
That said, a moderator told me that I could share it provided that I marked the topic NSFW and I credited the artists whose work I used. I modified a small part of it based on one of your suggestions. Click here to see it!
my time in kink taught me one important thing, ask for what you want, someone out there is as freaky as you. own it, just – double down on consent.
I don’t see the problem as long as you’re not being a creep, and can think about other things like laundry and doing crimes and train schedules/driving.
And a lady really liking my breasts and paying attention to them, reveling in them during sex is really nice. A partner being really eager to eat me out because they love my pussy is also a bucket list item.
You can be more sexual than romantic. Even completely aromantic! Its fine! You still have friends, right? Or not having them is unrelated? Then it’s fine!
It’s not the usual, but the best part of queerness is not having a script, not having (as much)shit boxing you in and telling you who/how you can and can’t be. The figuring out can be really fun.
This sort of thing is something I’ve read feminist theory about. Not crazed sex fiends, but the refutation of the idea that it’s unfeminist for a woman to be a pervert about women. Sex positive feminism came out of this rejection of purity and originated with lesbians who enjoyed casual sex, bdsm, and other dirty stuff.
Straight feminism sometimes has a lysistratic bent in part because one of the ways patriarchy exerts dominance over women is through sexual violence, coercion, and pushing the consequences of sex primarily onto women. A lot of internal politics later this manifests as waves between reclamation and rejection of sexuality. This unfortunately spills over into lesbians.
Yonic art and imagery have a long and storied tradition in lesbian culture and community. I’ve known breast obsessed women (I actually can be that way myself), butt obsessed women of all orientations, and genital obsessed women of all orientations. Should you be putting this foot first? Probably not unless you’re in a very sex focused space (but if you are, you absolutely can). But it’s not something you necessarily need to hide.
I’ll also add, I suspect that this interest is amplified by the shame and feeling the need to hide it. I have friends who write porn and until they stopped feeling shame it looked a lot more like an obsession than a hobby and an interest.
But yeah, especially if you’re making yonic art, look for community about it. If you’re looking for casual lesbian sex, look for community about it. Knowing you aren’t alone or bad is the biggest thing you can do about it.
Just read an article about lesbian sheep syndrome that talks about this
I have a bi friend who’s like this with all genitals, including things that aren’t even genitals. She’s got a healthy relationship with sex and goes about her life just fine. I don’t see a problem.
In terms of being a turn-off, I think you should probably focus on relationships willing to embrace this aspect of yourself rather than hiding it. “LET ME SHOW YOU MY GENITAL ART” is possibly not first-date material, but early on for sure. Might even be how you start a connection with someone if you share the interest.
Obsession is only a problem if it harms yourself or other people. Lady parts, man parts, everything in between parts, sculpt whatever you want. I don’t know where you are from, but the western world has unfairly demonized sex and the human body. Your hobbies are your own, and you should not suppress yourself to get affection from others who don’t like or appreciate who you really are.
Let’s be fair, it’s not the “western world” (awful term btw), it’s abrahamic religions specifically. Pre Christian Europe was much more accepting and open than it is today. Same thing with pre islamic Persia (not that it’s really a fair comparison with modern day Iran). Same story pretty much anywhere that has been converted to either religion.
yeah i was gonna say, i was sad to see that it’s not constrained to the western world at all. same thing in china.
If you describe genitals with gender terms, it will harm trans people. A trans woman with a penis has “lady parts”, since she’s a lady. It would be better in any way to describe genitals with their actual name: “clitoris”, “vulva”, “penis” (also this can also cause genital dysphoria, it’s still far better)
tbf, they didn’t specify what “lady parts” entailed. Lady penis is not the same as man penis, nor is man vagina the same as lady vagina.
That’s how you know that trans men are men. Sometimes I’ll see a video on redgifs of someone going to town on themselves with a dildo and I’ll be like “why do I find this so off-putting?” I take a look at their profile and it’s some dude with a mullet and a pedo-stache.
I mean, you’re right, it’s not specified, so let’s ask OP what they meant by this
Penes can be lady parts but they’ve just never really been my bag, regardless of which gender has them. Sorry, dears; it’s nothing personal. Even if I’m picky with my genital preferences, you ladies are still class acts all around and I’d love to be friends with you.
…so what about man minge?
Not for me, sorry.
ETA: If you are asking if I deny their existence, I don’t. Male cunts are valid. They don’t do much for me, but that’s perfectly fine; they’re still valid.
No apologies necessary. I also don’t like man minge. I’m quite fond of girl dick though.
thanks for the clarification. You really meant vulvas when saying “lady parts”. I think most of us would greatly appreciate if we’d avoid those heavy gendered terms for genitals
I… wasn’t just referring to women’s vulvae, and male vulvae don’t do much for me. To be honest, I don’t know how I could rephrase myself delicately and succinctly. Would ‘cis lady parts’ suffice?
While I’m a single person, I want to reassure you that nothing said in this thread has made me feel uncomfortable regarding my gender or body. I think it’s good to be aware of gendered language, but also that generalizations aren’t necessarily harmful by default and that context matters. This is a community for lesbians and it’s clear you’re referring to women’s genitals. Your explantation of not liking dude vulva makes it extra validating in my opinion.
Georgia O’Keeffe was a successful artist, given her subject matter.
Statues of the Virgin Mary in various flavors of Xtianity are based on lady parts (the way her robes flow out, etc).
Fertility figures, flower arrangements, you name it it’s been styled around lady parts.
There is no shame in having an appreciative fascination with the human body. As long as you’re not body shaming others; consensually enjoy to your heart’s desire!
I don’t know how this wasn’t more obvious to me! Her face is clearly a clitoris!
Here she’s been a sort of fertility deity in Christianity the whole time and I had literally no idea until you said this!
When I was 10 I had a favourite tree because it had had a branch removed and the bark had grown round the wound in the shape of a vulva. I think a fascination with lady bits is perfectly fine.
Let’s not forget that dicks are the subject of a lot of fascination, including the world fascination which comes from an ancient Roman winged dick monster.
I have made some unusual creations inspired by lady parts, including a virtual pinball table.
Can I see this table? That sounds fascinating
Private message sent.
Also interested, sounds weird and cool!
Private message sent.
Also, have met multiple gay men with a ‘dick room’ full of penis art. So you’re not the only one.
Ooh could I get a pic? it sounds cool looking
Private message sent.
As a private message?! Really?! You’re gonna make everyone ask individually?
Unless the moderators give me permission to share a blatantly NSFW image here, yeah.
Do you want a look?
hi im a mod, if you want to post this, just make sure its marked nsfw and has a proper content warning in the title and i wont remove it
Lmao I gotta see this too please. And just so I don’t spam the thread, your interest is totally fine and not too wild. It’s a harmless kink! Maybe some people will be put off by it, but like… A foot fetish could do that too, and it’s a well known fetish. Really doesn’t hurt anyone, don’t feel bad about it. You’ll find your person
Private message sent.
Please
Private message sent.
How much?
What do you mean?
As a pinball fan please send me the file
Private message sent.
Removed by mod
That’s a joke I used to make all the time. It turned out I was trans and it was the only honest thing I said about myself.
Removed by mod
No, if you’re an hetero man, it’s cringe and a red flag.
Unless it’s a sign of gender dysphoria of course
Removed by mod
since your first message, you still haven’t figured that you posted this on a “Lesbians” community? And that we could have issues with heterosexual men coming into our communities exactly the way you did?
Why?
… patriarchy?
I grew up in a matriarchal community and the men there are still vag obsessed.
thank you for proving once-and-for-all that patriarchy is fake, with your single, impossible-to-prove, personal anecdote. /s
I’m not saying patriarchy is fake. I’m saying that it’s not responsible for cishet men having an obsession with women’s bodies. That’s the result of evolution. If straight men weren’t interested in women’s bodies the human species would die off. Patriarchy has plenty to answer for, but sexual attraction isn’t one of them. Expressing that attraction in an unhealthy way, however is a problem with the patriarchy.
Expressing that attraction in an unhealthy way, however is a problem with the patriarchy.
yes, and going into a lesbian space and say “i, a man, like pussies” kinda qualifies as an unhealthy way of communicating.
I’m not sure what you mean. I should think that some portion of heterosexual men would be preoccupied with feminine-coded attributes under any kind of hierarchy at all. What about it makes it bad?
if you really want me to spend time explaining to a random man on a “Lesbians” community why we really don’t like this kind of behaviour, and why it’s totally inappropriate, i’ll have to charge you. I take €100 by the hour.
That’s okay. It’s not my intention to be aggressive with you.
Similarly to what the other comments say, I think this is something that is undeserving of guilt or shame, and is rather caused by the demonization of the human body by Western society. This seems different than the stereotype about cishet guys being (as you put it) “breast-obsessed.” I think the disturbing aspect with that is that guys will minimize women down to solely their body and how it serves them, having no regard for the character or desires of the person. It doesn’t seem like that’s what you’re doing here at all— rather, having an appreciation for this specific aspect of being human, yknow? Your “obsession” doesn’t seem to stem from anything malicious, nor does it seem to harm anyone, so… keep doing you!
Don’t worry too much about it is my take.
Yes, you’re almost certainly going to find people who are enherently discusted by that. I’ve met women who’d just say “…eww”. I’ve also met women who’d be like “bro saaame!” People vary in opinion, and I find it unlikely that if you were in a relationship with another girl they’d be the former (though I wouldn’t know because I’m a guy and never been in a relationship; someone else would have to chime in on this point).
I think it’s important to also consider why people look down on guys for being obsessed with tits&ass. Usually, the implication I get is that the issue is feeling like you’re being used for sexual gratification, not the emphasis on sexuality. An unsolicited DM praising your nipples doesn’t exactly make you feel like you’ve got good looking nipples. I think if you’re clear about not “using” their sexual characteristics and just like them in the same way you’d like flowers or whatever, then at that point most of the “weirdness” is that it’s non-sexual. Personally I find that to be more of a quirky kind of weird than a gross kind of weird.
