Maybe it’s cuz I’m an introvert, but I realized I haven’t really talk to my aunts/uncles outside of family gatherings that I was forced to go to…
Like idk, older generation feels so weird… like they feel kinda intimidating…
Some, not all. And who I stay in touch with changes over time. I have many aunts, uncles, cousins and the next 2 generations so it isn’t possible to keep meaningfully in touch with everyone. We have a pretty good grapevine so information eventually filters through.
I attended a funeral this week and all I can say is I have some regrets, imperfect though they were
things are hard, it’s not always possible, amd people are complex, but it’s good to still try
nope. they pretty much didn’t give a shit about me until they learned I was somewhat successful and had kids, then they wanted to be involved in my family.
no birthday cards, no wedding invitations, nothing. then bam, once they all started to get old enough to start dying they wanted to reach out and be family again.
not just that they ruined a particularly fond memory I had as a child and I never forgave them for it.
fuck em. they’re just strangers to me by now anyway. I wish them the best in life but have no desire to include them in my life.
I have some contact with my siblings but pretty much only see most people once a year for holidays. I could do without the holidays, honestly.
Yeah we see them every year or so, more my dad’s side, they came over last year as a surprise birthday visit for my dad. My mum’s brothers don’t usually come down to our area cause she moved away in the first place. And we don’t go up there as often since Grandma died.
No. I moved around a lot as a kid, and we’re all scattered around the country at this point.
I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
I won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now. Cousin also wore a trump shirt to the funeral. Trashy.
…said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
There’s the whole MAGA movement summed up in one sentence.
(I know I’m generalizing, but) in my life, the same people who would have crucified someone wearing anything but a black suit and tie are many of the same people who would wear The Orange Anus’s clothing line at a funeral now.
Same thing with wearing/modifying the American flag. It used to be verboten by nationalists, but now it’s not (if they do it).
Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other’s company.
Weirdo
Yeah i never call or hang out with them separately, but i enjoy seeing them once or twice a year when we all get together
The last line makes it sound a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.
Eh, when I was in K-12 school, I remember talking to my peers in just fine…
Like what do I even say to older generations? There’s an authority differential I feel like.
Just catch up what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Not rocket science. I’m not close with extended family, but at gatherings it’s like we were never separated, the conversation just rolls.
Cousins in my age group once every few months maybe, aunts and uncles hardly ever. Not even my own all that frequently, but we have a whatsapp group with those and my parents where we chat somewhat frequently.
My mom has a scheduled video conference call with my siblings and I every few weeks, so we stay in pretty good contact that way. We also all get along pretty well. Family is spread out halfway across the States, so getting together in person is a bit tricky.
I see my sister who lives nearby every few months (generally when our parents come through), and one brother roughly once a year; other brother is farther away and harder to get together with.
Cousins, aunts, and uncles are rarer, even though they’re closer. Think the last time I saw any of them was at a funeral.
No. But also I don’t really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don’t need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.
No ill feelings, I’m just no less awkward with them than other normies.
I have tried. They seem to think it’s weird. Oh well, family gatherings happen often enough, and there’s other legit excuses sometimes.
Not a ton, but I do talk to one great uncle occasionally. And a great aunt (her late husband was the great uncle’s older brother). Come to think of it, several second cousins, too. We don’t talk a ton, but we do voluntarily see each other beyond the “family weddings and funerals” rotation.
Relationships are incredibly important for living a long and fulfilling life.
One of the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their life:
“I wish I had stayed in touch with the people who mattered.”
It also has a protective factor to your health too.
Now, does that mean that you have to force yourself to like those extended relatives? No, of course not. Just like any other people, you must make the assessment whether these people are on the whole a benefit or a deterrent to you.
But being a family member often grants you a quick on-ramp to foster those relationships.
We all often say it’s too hard, we’re too busy. And I’d argue that if you find value in it, then you’re going to do it with intention and make the time.
