You must log in or register to comment.
I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.
All I can say is it works.
Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!
But I don’t need to have everyone tell me I’m bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.
Kid is not being mean, it’s just unfiltered observation
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.
Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let’s fuck.
No joke, I’ve had this happen.
Did you guys fuck?
You need to elaborate
I… would love this idea.
The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.
What was the interesting fact?
It’s terrible but I don’t remember, over time was replaced by her pretty face in my brain.
Spock played a key role in their extinction.
I’m autistic and this would really simplify things tbh
I would be enthusiastic and honored if you approached me like that
Right? I don’t usually behave like this in professional or formal environments, but in every other situation, I try to give myself permission to be me. Fuck it. Be weird.
No, be yourself. If that gets you labeled weird by them, then it’s their loss. Wasn’t going to be a compatible relationship anyway.
Hey, weird does not automatically mean bad. The people I most like to hang with are really weird people.
Same, and I basically just actually do this.
…would probably have to be drunk to do the last line, though.
Why do I do this?
If you find that intro immensely offputting… I will likely find you immensely insufferable.
Communication still works two ways, even if the normies play by different rules.
Know what? Next time I ask a woman out…
“Hi I’m [Redacted], I’m [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You’re really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?”
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it’s actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
“Hi, I’m George Kastanza, I’m 38 and I live with my parents.”
You skipped the brain dump about vim keybindings.
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don’t have to guess, and you’re putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
Hi, I’m the ex-World’s dumbest man, you have a cool username, I don’t actually want to date.
Want to go fight in a videogame of your choosing?
Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I’d probably engage with someone who approached me like that.
The inigo montoya style: Step 1: Give a polite greeting.
Step 2: State your name.
Step 3: Establish a personal connection.
Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.
That’s basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.
“I’m Chilie. I’m a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?”
I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.
It’s funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I’m a City Planner.
We’re always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we’re both interested in the other’s career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
Its a streaming overflow area for a data lake. Usually implemented with some sort of hierarchal storage management solution. Its used when you are streaming data somewhere but the connection is interrupted and its suboptimal to add further partitions to your streaming, and your boss isnt cool with just deleting the data that we all know will never be used for anything at all. So you stay up all night moving this crap data around, questioning your life choices and feeling like a moron.
An hour later, I trod the same path.
Everything about it makes perfect sense except “floodway”. And, if I buzzword hard enough, I could see that meaning something like the Slashdot effect/hug of death.
… I’m going to start using it that way.
I develop software for mining (ore) operations, so a floodway didn’t sound entirely implausible.
I’ve also spent all week doing tech-support because I’m the only one that’s not on vacation, so my brain is a little fried.
Ah, that’s even more acute. You definitely win this round.
EDIT: Also, hope your tech support ends today (or at least soon) and you don’t have to deal with it again.
I’m in central Europe, so I’ve been off the clock for like, 9 hours or so at this point. I should really sleep and let my brain recuperate a little.
You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the new data center in Fargo, would you?
Valid crashout
This would be amazing.
My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.
Instant friends.
This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?
Picture it: “hi I’m Hedgehog what’s your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus”
Unfortunately now I’m an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.
No. That’s amazing. I think if someone actually said something like that irl as an opener, we’d become good friends.
Tbh where I work asking someone their favourite dinosaur would probably start a multiple hour long discussion/argument.
Yeah though I expect people won’t be happy when my answer is the American crow
Not if you find a way to work in a preschool
