Poop.

~Don’t tell my mom~

Every time I hold a stack of papers, my hands become a skin book

I TOLD YOU TO SPIT IN MY MOUTH, NOT MY BIG MAC!

Are there any trees that can cause people to suicide like in The Happening?

Sooooo… Abortion is cool, right? Either they’re humans and not entitled to the necessities to live, or they’re not humans and can have separate constitutional rights.

Or maybe there’s a third option here? Is there something special about people from Jackson, Mississippi that would preclude them from enjoying constitutional/human rights?

Everyone knows that West is left. And 4 Wests makes a North

What’s that last word say?

Turbo poopie-pants

Companies that own homes should pay a higher rate per house in general.

Also, I’m voting to raise my property taxes this year. I get the benefit of living in a house AND making sure that public schools can keep feeding and helping kids. Fucking yes please.

Good point.

Don’t Look Up

“I was working on a MR. For America.”

THANK GOD, I NEED A WITNESS!

Oh no, none for me, thanks

No, his is in the basement of the Alamo

“I’m gonna be the first person to throw a rock onto that highway!”

Cars driving on the highway: “Please don’t.”

Why was it there??? Why was it in your ass???

A lil’ hotdog for your eyeball

Butt-to-butt sales

Yeah, but Hoover named someone else’s dam project after himself. He should be way higher on Trump’s list.