What Poland?

Did you know that the average person eats 8 spiders every hour while they sleep?

Yep. Force neighborhoods to suppress themselves.

So, he understands the concept of a safe space… But only for him? And only if it’s… a country?

is never exposed to books featuring LGBTQ+ characters

Bad news on that Bible, buddy

An ex-con roommate of mine took some of my bananas that I was waiting to be ripe enough for a meal. He then coated it in ketchup and black pepper and then told me that it was going to blow my mind with how good it is. That one of his buddies from the Rikers cafeteria made it for him.

He encouraged me to take a bite and eagerly watched. He asked me what it tastes like, and I told him, “like bananas, ketchup, and pepper.” He looked confused and took a bite. I watched his child-like joy melt away to reveal true sadness.

“I guess it tasted better in prison,” he said.

Look out! Those spooky skeletons are chasing your comment!!!

When I offer her some, and says, “please no,” and looks genuinely concerned.

Tonight, I made some fried chicken tenders from frozen fillets that I thawed, cleaned a bit, and then marinated in spiced rice wine vinegar. I used a simple cornstarch to egg dredge, and an all-purpose/rice flour breading with a shit ton of spices:

• MSG
• Table salt
• Garlic powder
• Onion powder
• White chili powder
• Freshly ground white and black pepper
• Dried chives
• Sage
• Cilantro, garlic, lime salt mix
• Baking powder for the crispies
• Don’t forget to drip some egg into the breading for extra crunchiness!

Used an 8-inch pan and peanut oil for the frying.

Whole thing took about half an hour, and I was happier than a pig in slop

Telling people not to buy my shitty product is really hurtful to my bottom line!

Homemade hot and sour soup with so many mushrooms that you have diarrhea 15 minutes later

Also: string cheese sticks torn lengthwise, lined up on a plate, and then hit with a searzall before getting a few dollops of whatever Italian spiced tomato sauce is in the fridge. I call it “plate pizza” and it makes my wife sad to see me eat it.

I’m in!

@ivanafterall@lemmy.world requested that someone help answer their wet dilemma, and you’ve responded saying that it’s funny?? Poor Ivan! I’m not laughing, my friend. I’ll get you the answers you seek!

Have you tried not drinking soda before bedtime?

Am I supposed to read this in a sing-song time like at the end of the birthday song? Because that’s how I’m hearing it.

Saving this comment to show my wife later. I feel so seen.

My dad is dead, so zombie fan-fic fans can have a little treat

“Tread harder on me, Daddy!”

- Their flags and cum socks

Which is acting like they know everything about everyone else’s jobs, while making up wholly inaccurate assumptions

Texas, too. But having a Texan agree on language probably hurts your argument

I went to public school in Texas. They taught us that both sides had many good points. Seriously.