Thinking about a conversation I was having with an acquaintance years ago. He was a friend of a friend and we were talking about food. I forget the exact phrasing but I brought up loving avocados. He said “what’s that?” I was a bit surprised and explained. He responded “OH thats crazy I thought that was one of those made up words”. The statement was like a flashbang I had to contemplate for a few minutes. PERSONAL STORIES ONLY, DO NOT INCLUDE A STATEMENT FROM A CELEBRITY OR POLITICIAN.
My father passed away recently and his wife who he was separated from did not want to relinquish her rights to plan his funeral. Up until last Friday she had been respectful of what my brother and I, my dad’s only biological children, have asked for.
However, on Friday she published the viewing and funeral dates on Facebook without consulting us. They’re on days my brother can’t come home since he’s working out of the country. When my family asked to change it, she said she had formed a committee for the funeral made of my dad’s close friends and to ask them to change it. Of course, she only did this to avoid responsibility for the date.
When I called one of the men on the committee and gave him a list of reasons to change the date, he basically said the plans were set and the notifications sent out. I replied that nothing was set in stone and that we could re-upload the obit. I further explained that my brother and I were hurt we were left out of the funeral planning and that it didn’t have to be this difficult since there was availability a few weeks after the selected dates. His response was, “It’s not. Just go with the flow”.
I was so stunned I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t believe the audacity from him saying this was not a difficult situation and for us to just accept their decisions. In the end, I told him that it was hard enough dealing with my dad’s death without all this added stress of being left out. I didn’t want to be overly rude since they could easily change their minds and cremate my dad without telling us anything.
TLDR: Brother and I were left out of the funeral planning for our father and when I asked to change the date for my brother to be able to attend, I was told to “Just go with the flow”
Most recently? I was in a car with someone I don’t like and they pulled a douchebag move skipping a bunch of traffic to make an illegal turn, while running a red light no less. Obviously I was like wtf if your problem cause it was an asshole move but also endangered me. This bitch really said it was fine because no one tried to stop him. We are in a car remind you so I’m like wtf does that even mean, how could the other drivers have stopped you? By like, crashing into you to prevent you from doing that? And he said YES!!! What?? So unless you’re willing to physically intervene on what this dude is doing whatever he does isn’t bothering you… he’s said a lot of other crazy shit of this nature but this was the most recent.
This is why when I was learning how to drive my grandfather said “just remember, every other car on the road… is trying to kill you. Being a good driver is not putting yourself in a position to let them.”
I am crippled and don’t get out much these days…
… but I do remember having to actually explain to a 20ish yo woman that no, chocolate milk does not infact come from brown cows.
Most of the conversation was me assuming she was fucking with me.
Nope. She was dead serious.
PERSONAL STORIES ONLY, DO NOT INCLUDE A STATEMENT FROM A CELEBRITY OR POLITICIAN
Because that would be cheating. Celebs and politicians–especially politicians–say some jaw dropping bullshit pretty much every single day rn. 🤣
Exactly
“Give us what we want and everything will go back to normal” My father after my mom got pissed at me for not calling her more often and caused a massive family drama. IIRC my mom lost her shit when I asked her to call me sometimes.
I’m traveling through Portugal at the moment, and an Australian guy struck up a conversation with me on the train yesterday. He and I start talking politics, and he starts talking about how illegal immigration is a massive problem. He’s supportive of mass deportation, and generally likes how Trump is handling things. We debate this back and forth, and then move on to other subjects.
Later in the conversation he reveals, without a hint of irony, that his visa in Portugal has expired while waiting on residence paperwork. I just stare at him for a moment, and then ask him if he realized he was an illegal immigrant. He doesn’t really see the irony. Absolutely stunned.
That’s the trouble it’s always ‘them but not me’ the best example I know of is the protest march a bunch of fellow Brits did in benidorm, against immigration to the UK!
I have 2 from the same person.
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“Why is it when hockey players stop on the blue and red line. The lines dont disappear”.
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“The reason why there are train conductors is because they turn the wheel at the front of the train so they dont fly off the tracks on corners”.
Maybe not as crazy as some but it definitely made me think twice about other things she knew.
Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
2 is almost, sort of, kind of, technically true, from a certain point of view.
Not by way of steering, but by way of slowing down to take turns at safe speeds, which is done by some form a control mechanism, which may be or resemble a wheel.
Thats two fantastic ones
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“I am very sure my husband has no heart attack. I am a homeopathic and this is clearly not a heart attack. You don’t know what you are doing.”
I am a paramedic for 24 years, a critical care paramedic for 16. The husband had such a “myocardial infarction out of the book”-ECG it almost looked twice. He literally almost coded on us twice. And this lady walzes in (funny enough: They were in the process of separating) and after 60 sec. decides she knows what’s up.
Homeopathy therapists here have no formal training. Just a state exam that makes sure they don’t kill someone too often.
The husband barely made it,personally I think mostly out of spite for her. Had a cardiac arrest twice while in the cathlab,but survived without neurological issues.
It’s really really rare that I am out of words and don’t have a comeback. But that woman in that moment?
(For the medical folks: Massive STEMI accross 3 leads, massive contractility issue visible on POCUS, later on become pressure dependended, had VF arrest during PCI, needed an impella for two weeks)
I need to start by stating the fact that I have a perfectly normal nose in a perfectly normal face. At 18 I was a pretty young woman.
Ages ago, first day in university, first lecture. 400 students listening to the professor. A random girl is staring at me for most of the lecture. Afterwards she runs through the crowd in the hallway, catches up to me and says: “Just had to tell you that you rock. You’re an inspiration to me. Looking so happy and carefree, with that nose of yours! I don’t know how you manage.”
Alternate explanation:
She was basically a tsundere, and attempting to flirt with you.
She insulted your nose because either:
A) She is very vain and hates the idea of finding another person attractive and thus had to work some random snide comment in there, happened to be your nose.
B) Basically the same, but she was actually particularly fascinated by your nose, she found it quite appealing, and being a vain tsundere, specifically insulted it, because she is jealous of it.
What the fuck. What a bitch. Do you think she was being mean/manipulative/evil?
30 years later and I have absolutely no idea. As I rubbed shoulders with her (small department) for the next 3 years I could tell she was self-centered, vain, and sure of her own wonderfullness, but it still doesn’t compute. Well. My nose and I only remember her when somebody ask a question like OP’s.
The nose knows that was about her own insecurities. I can almost smell it ;)
I was helping a co-worker with their broken phone. Just saving the pictures from their phone to the computer.
Me: ‘OK, I’m just going to make a folder on the desktop for now. You can move it from there to wherever you want to keep them’
Co-worker: ‘I don’t think I have a desktop’
Maybe unrealated, but they are also the most pro-AI of my coworkers. Open to just asking chat gpt for worksheets for thier students…
In my experience, the most pro llm/chatbot slop people are the most idiotic in terms of tech literacy. Its probably why they like it, it makes them feel smart and “techy” even though they have no fucking clue how computers work.
10 years ago I gave my ex a shaving kit. It came with a dry shaving foam, one of those that work like soap. After a couple of weeks without using I asked him if it was bad to shave, he said “the guy scamed you, this don’t make foam” I was intrigued got the shaving brush WET IT And used the SOAP like dry foam. Worked fine
His answer “I didn’t know I need water to make foam”
Mind you I’m not talking about any dumb person, this man got his bachelors in economics and business at the same time. He had 2 masters and a doctorate. He was very inteligente and was a great person to talk.
I think we god divorced because of how much I made fun of him for that, but for gods sake, WATER AND SOAP = FOAM is elementary school shit
Well, to be fair, you are writing about “dry foam”. Shaving foam is wet. What you are referring to as “dry foam” is soap.
This form of shaving is called “Wet shaving” BTW.
yeah yeah, he has a doctorate!
So? That means they spent 8 years studying a single subject in depth. A doctorate in no way magically confers knowledge on all subject. From the people with PhDs I have known, most of them were so focused on a deep understanding in their area of expertise but they had very shallow experience and knowledge outside of their special scope.
That’s fine and not a problem. Don’t assume anyone with letters after their name was good at anything more than satisfying course requirements. PHD, MBA, BA, etc do not equate to intelligence. They can and often do co-exist, but they are not mutually assured.
Is it a doctorate in pogonotomia?
I have a question.
Did he know how to use bar soap?Don’t ask…lol
Had a neighbor who thought bunnies laid eggs. I guess because of the whole Easter Bunny thing.
I sometimes mess with my kids by informing them that women, human women, kind of lay eggs too. Just not to the point that the eggs come out before they hatch.
I’ve been trying to convince my kids that bunnies lay eggs for years now, they don’t believe me.
Good luck with that.
Is is because they’re 32 and don’t want to visit you at the nursing home anymore
Oooof thats a rough one
“I had my whole life planed out.” “And then I had you.” Great thing to hear a mother say.
“I liked you better when you wanted to kill yourself” Abusive ex to me
What a winner that person is.
Damn that’s a fucking WILD one
He said a lot of uh… memorable stuff😮💨
Well glad he’s an ex then, good luck with future love lmao.
WOAH what a thing to come out of one’s mouth. Like…abusers always have mountains of justifications but something like this…it seems like it’s gotta cut through all the delusion…that’s not a thing a good person can feel, let alone say! Like…realizing you feel that way about someone should be a huge wakeup call that you’re a monster and need to do some serious work on yourself. Saying it out loud…wowee
I can’t remember the context, but a coworker said “I shouldn’t have to care whether the moon gives off light or reflects it.”
I remember being stunned…
I am going to find your coworker and make them care whether the moon gives off light or reflects it
Thank you for your enthusiasm on this matter, moonshadow.
TBF there’s a logic to this one. It’s basically a science fact, and is unlikely to ever be important to someone’s personal goals.
That’s maybe not a person most of us would have common ground with, though.
True, I was mostly stunned someone wouldn’t know that. If someone considers it possible that the moon emits light, then how would they explain phases?
Moon’s haunted
The lamp that gives off the light is moving around the moon.
Wait, is there someone out there forcing people to care about whether the moon is reflective or emissive?
For whatever reason, a significant number of flat earthers also believe that the Moon is some kind of a fake hologram and/or emits ‘cold light’, or something like that.
the moon is actually a mini sun, that’s why gives off light.
(/j if it wasn’t obvious)
The moon is made of cheese and, like all cheeses, emits light under a low enough temperate (space is so cold it doesn’t even have a temperature - it’s just “cold”). The REAL mindbender, is why the space dust particles make the light all bright instead of dirty yellow, like how i like my cheese
Technically all things give off blackbody radiation, of which almost none of which is in visible light at normal temperatures.
Thats pretty funny
