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InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago

"I don’t drink out of a straw, brother..."

hexbear.net

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"I don’t drink out of a straw, brother..."

hexbear.net

InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago
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https://www.mediaite.com/media/tv/congressman-tells-fox-news-i-dont-drink-out-of-a-straw-brother-thats-what-the-women-in-my-house-do/

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  • DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    24 hours ago

    How tf are these dipshits in power and I’m begging any corpo to pay attention to my resume and hire me? How tf do these mfs survive the extremely high standards it takes to even flip burgers?

    Better question: how do they even go outside without hiding in their basements? These are grown ass men who probably still believe in cooties.

  • onwardknave [he/him,comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    I remember the time I was minding my own business, drinking a big cold glass of somethingorother, and the straw, I shit you not, turned right into a dick. It was big and meaty and I thought to myself “well, I have to turn in my truck nuts, now.”

  • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Then why did you all have a years long temper tantrum about trying to do the absolute bare minimum to reduce single use plastics and ban plastic straws.

    • AnarchoAnarchist [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      15 hours ago

      “you can take my miroplastics from my cold, dead hands.”

    • decaptcha [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      the misogyny extends to mother gaia

  • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    this frail old man trying to put on this macho too alpha for straws act is beyond pathetic. meanwhile this dude spends 80% of his time making wackos on reddit think the government is gonna declassify UFOs any day now

  • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    does he wipe his ass when he shits or is that too girly too?

  • Seasonal_Peace [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Look at this man, he’s the apex of masculinity. He hates women and refuses to drink from straws because they constantly remind him of dick-sucking, he would never do that. He’s just always thinking about it whenever he sees anything remotely phallic. Straws are for women, because only women suck dick. Not him. He doesn’t. He won’t. He doesn’t even want to. Please, dicks, leave him alone.

  • determinism2 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Jail this man for unamerican activities

    • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      21 hours ago

      Sharing is communist, this “man” is clearly a red

      • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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        19 hours ago

        Pinko

  • Hexboare [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 hours ago

    Removed by mod

    • Palacegalleryratio [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      22 hours ago

      Do you think America could be game for a Raw Water thing? Like a raw milk thing but with water and cholera.

      • ashestosea@midwest.social
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        22 hours ago

        Yes :amerikkka-clap:

        • Palacegalleryratio [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          20 hours ago

          No fucking way

  • GladimirLenin [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    i lap my fluids from a shallow dish, like a beast man

    • theturtlemoves [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      Weak. That’s what the cats in my house do.

      • GladimirLenin [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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        17 hours ago

        My technique is more bear like tho

  • BobDole [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Man who has never wiped or cleaned his ass. Ever.

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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    2 days ago

    I wonder what his “manly” stance on spoons, knives, and forks is.

    • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      REAL MEN eat their food like a pig eating out of a TROUGH

      • Angel [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        And then they shit it all out on their balls

      • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 days ago

        Eating the bug paste out of the trough is fine and all, but I draw the line at sleeping in the pod.

      • ClassIsOver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        More like a duck. Pigs tend to chew.

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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        2 days ago

        GOOD POINT.

    • KuroXppi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      pete-eat

    • WizardOfLoneliness [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      if you lack the dentition to tear through your meal you’re put out like old yeller

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Straight is the only sexuality you have to perform and maintain. Even given that they’re joking around, and they’re all giggling throughout the clips, it’s so annoying to me. “Oh look at me I cried! Now I want to suck penis!” Like they don’t spend hundreds of hours and millions of dollars on enforcing gender compliance. Like you need a more rigorous and principled approach to the LGBT than “okay, sounds good.”

    It’s heartbreaking because Ted Cruz, when told that “Mr. Whoever says men shouldn’t have male best friends” says “Mr. Whoever could use a friend.”

  • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Hell yeah brother. Elephants are so phallic that I had to stop going to the zoo. I told the zookeeper to cover the trunks up so I don’t have to look at them and they said “no”. Woke will never win as long as alpha males stand up.

  • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    is this a blowjob thing or a doesn’t wash his ass thing?

    • ComRed2 [any]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      Yes.

  • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    sucking is for women, ok. i will never eat a noodle

    • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

    • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      Italians in shambles

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