EU citizenship with no hassle?
Hell yes!
Yes, sign me up. I’m ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?
This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.
No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.
Wouldn’t be the first bilingual EU country.
The Danish Realm already has three official languages, adding two more shouldn’t be a problem.
Humoring the situation, I imagine English would be an accepted official language of the region lol
English and Spanish would surely be given the same status as Greenlandic and Faroese.
Can they buy oregon and Washington too?
As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.
I’m sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal
Don’t forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!
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I support this sale.
I volunteer Minnesota as well.
Wisconsinite here. I’m hoping the great lakes area is occupied by Canada after we lose WW3.
And North Carolina. Trump can keep South.
Left and right sides of PA, too, please and thank you
But mostly the right. Danish is a terrible enough language without adding Yinz to their vocabulary
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I know this is pushing it but can we throw in all the western states? I promise Utah’s national parks and skiing are awesome.
No… If there’s one state besides Texas you don’t want in this transfer, it’s Mormonland
utah will surprise you with how much the mormons do not like trump
Too many magats and weird zealots. Nature there is great and all but the people suck.
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slow claps
Well done sir, well done.
With a pee room and some shady video
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Yes! California native here. We accept.
$1 is a pretty good deal.
They should have charged, honestly.
California accepts denmark’s bid. Please.
Honestly Washington State is the one I’d buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.
Lets go Danes!
Darn, I was kind of hoping for a viking raid of Mar-a-Lago followed by some pillaging up and down the gulf coast. Get some pirates back in the Caribbean and rename the Gulf to something even more obnoxious.
Well, the vikings reached the east coast of what is now Canada in around the year 1,000, but they were Norwegians, not Danes. They never got any further than New Brunswick, but who knows, if they visited Florida perhaps they would have stayed…
They never got any further than New Brunswick
New Brunswick can do that to ya. You have to be ready for it.
Gulf of calypso (from pirates of the Caribbean)
Gulf of dumbasses
Gulf means “lack of” so gulf of intelligence makes more sense.
Gulf of Pizza
They could easily move at least a thousand Danes to Florida just by flying in commercial around the country, use private planes to bring in arms, and have the forces needed to seize the governors office and Mar a Lago faster than any resistance could be mounted.
Exfil to local air field, marinas and highways simultaneously with waiting dummy vehicles, some rigged to combust, others just uninvolved duplicates. Meanwhile actually just move them a concrete room under a mall with lots of traffic.
Or, whatever, just spitballing ideas.
The sheer absurdity of this “news” piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.
Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.
Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.
You OK?
not sure if you noticed, but NONE OF US ARE OKAY hon.
“I, for one, welcome our new Viking overlords.”
edit: "
still ain’t gonna win a super bowl.
Why do you hurt me like this?
I would kill for some hygge right now
That’s not very hygge of you.
I’ll google this after, but what’s hygge?
Asking for a friend
It roughly translates to “contentment and satisfaction with life”
Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.
What’s happening on April 15?
Tax day….
oh, I’m not american so I don’t know your tax days.
It was more of a sigh… Collective sigh from all Americans. Not saying you’re bad because you didn’t know.
whoops, accidentally sent 450 billion dollars of tax revenue to Denmark this year - california probably
Ok so the Danes get the west, Canada gets the north, Mexico gets as much of the south as they want, and the rest can be The United States Of Trump until it gets destroyed
Can you give some back to the First Nations people?
Sorry, we’re still only breaking treaties.
I wish. Unfortunately none of the governments staking claims give a shit about them.
All the USofT will be First Nations Land after the civil war.
I think we’re okay with letting Cascadia chart its own course and we hope to make use of its can-mex rail link.
I hope they change the name to Hyggewood
What’s hygge
Edit: that warm cozy feeling
