you had a good idea but i cannot afford to have them fly out for my cat’s quinceañera

nah, i’m a math, the numbers are numbers it’s cool

i have rarely felt so seen

doctor says i’m not allowed to have any more, but i was a butter and lemon when steamed dude. favorite on the veg tray but alas no more.

Rafael Cruz

i live near a hill. sometimes my phone rings, sometimes it doesn’t. sometimes it takes 6 hours for a text to arrive, sometimes immediately, sometimes it get lost in the packet routing tumble dryer.

a bunch of these

but tastefully edited

as data points: the three boards i’ve held a directorship on were at least 75% white and I was in my 30s. I was easily the youngest person on each board by twenty years.

i’ll miss Eric

you said to make yourself at home

do those compressed air cans work? we’ve got a mean cat out in the yard and i am thinking of building and carrying around a little co2 can/straw dealie to psst at her from long range

counterpoint, the other counter is more fun and has the rock that you like to cuddle on it

failing that, you will be punished most severely with the deadliest punishment of all: forehead kisses!

remember that article where the ATF defines a 14 inch length of bootlace with a loop in it as an automatic firearm? i used to know the dude who wrote that. he’s a really funny guy. he was not trying to be funny, he was just trying to describe something he saw in government language and, well, one thing led to another.

i mean i understand the bullshit they sold it to us with. the whole “interagency fighting prevents the security apparatus from preventing 9/11s AND YOU WANT TO PREVENT 9/11S RIGHT”. only they implemented it with another agency. and more interagency fighting. (please don’t post the xkcd usb comic we all get it). it almost seems like they could have just, i don’t know, made them all share a database.

sometimes interagency noncooperation is a good thing, too. when the agents recognize they;re stepping on your rights and pull back okay i realize that never happens but it could okay

The people enriching the oligarch class are also not our allies.

you are not your own ally. would you like me to walk you through the economic proof, or do you understand?

i think half of them are from folk thinking you are calling them class traitors for having savings (because they, like me, were initially too undercaffeinated to parse it correctly) and the rest are from folk who parsed it correctly and are mad because their petit bourguignon jobs don’t match with their proleteriat feelings.

they’re petit bougie (i’m too eepie to speel) at best but they aren’t the people we’re really angry at

i want it canonically known that princess peach hovers by farts

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

that’s not quite right. see that turtle has its own sun and moon chasing it around. and they did the math the sun and moon are superluminal bodies