• InevitableSwing [none/use name]OPEnglish
        12•3 months ago

        They do could a series of hip hop videos called “Trump 'n Hunter”.

        I’m imagining it’s dark at a yuge mansion and there’s lots and lots of dry ice mist. They drive up in a one million dollar supercar and Trump comes out in a black suit, white shirt, black necktie, and he’s got big Gucci shades on. Hunter is also wearing a suit and tie but not as nice and his shades are smaller.

          • InevitableSwing [none/use name]OPEnglish
            6•3 months ago

            “I’m not supposed to tell you now - I’ll get in trouble… But I’ll tell ya now. My guys and some women too. But not so many. And central casting women. No uglies. Madeleine Albright - have you seen her? No.”

            • “For FBI - George Santos. We are gonna investigate the democrats.” Sing-song “Investigate-Investigate-Investigate… bye-bye.”

            • “For DOJ - Scott Baio. Very, very loyal. I can do what I want. I’m gonna try the democrats a lot. Trial, guilty, jail. Official act. Barron told me ‘Marionette Scott Baio’. Yeah - that.”

            • “For Defense - Ted Nugent. He knows guns and Gaza.”

            • “For CIA - Kid Rock. My spy guy. And I’m gonna change things so they can work in the US. And black sites here too.”

             

            “I could keep going. The big list is even greater. You’ll love it.”

        • Yeat [he/him]English
          5•3 months ago

          seriously why hasn’t trump at least dropped one rap verse? he’s tapped in he was just with ot7 quanny, surely he could lay down a 16

  • PorkrollPosadist [he/him, they/them]MEnglish
    28•3 months ago

    None of these losers

    Burgum? Never even heard of this dork. Incumbent Governor of North Dakota. He started his career as a McKinsey consultant. Republican Pete Buttedgeedge. Low energy.

    J.D. Vance? Ivy League Eminem? Really? Come the fuck on.

    Little Marco? It would technically be funny, but no comedy bit is remembered for being technically funny.

    In reality, Trump will pick someone boring as a prophylactic against being couped. That was the whole idea behine Mike Pence. Dude had about as much verve as a cool glass of prune juice.

    The funniest (in a shambolic and horrifying sense) choice would be Vince McMahon. They do have a long personal connection.

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]OPEnglish
      20•3 months ago

      “Everybody… Everybody… Do you wanna know who my VP pick is?” There is yelling and cheering. “Do you wanna?” The crowd is roaring. “You wanna - right? You wanna.” The noise is incredible. “He’s like a superhero. A superhero! C’mon out here Mr. Black Justice…”

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]OPEnglish
      17•3 months ago

      “Liberals - they hate her. They hate her! Me? I love her. I love her.” Big reveal - she comes out stage left. The audience goes “Ah!?!” and then starts cheering and a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’.

      She reaches her mic and starts squawking “Hey, everybody, I’m Marjorie Taylor Greene - the president’s veepee - and we’re gonna slay the demoncrats!” There’s an explosion of rabid yelling and screaming. Trump is clearly a bit annoyed by this. He jumps right in to get the focus back on him.

      “Yeah… Yeah…” He’s even more annoyed because they aren’t quieting down fast enough. “Yeah.” They quiet down enough so he can continue. “They’re done. And no more windmills. They’re done too. Bad. Bad. Very bad.”

    • Angel [any]English
      6•3 months ago

      First owl VP; different species are now making strides in American politics