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FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net to memes@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 years ago

(Ignore the mormon temple)

hexbear.net

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(Ignore the mormon temple)

hexbear.net

FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net to memes@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Utah is the second highest consumer of cosmetic surgery in the United States. They call it “The Utah Look.” In case you wanted to know why this lady’s tits are so big.

    • LeZero [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Jed Binrup

      Now that’s a fake name

      • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        Oh boy, do you know about the meme for Utah Mormon names?

        • barrbaric [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          Katana

          While all these other kids studied dance, she studied the blade.

          • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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            2 years ago

            Back in high school I tried to ask her out to prom but she just teleported behind me and said “nothing personnel kid”

          • VHS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            I would advise not getting killed by her. Her sword traps the souls of its victims.

          • WIIHAPPYFEW [any, any]@hexbear.net
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            She was actually the result of Kat and Ana from Warioware (little known fact but they’re proud FLDS members smh) performing a fusion dance prohibited by the mainline church

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          2 years ago

          what a Tragedeigh

          • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            Totally a 7th kids name if I have ever seen one. Usually the parents have given up at that stage and are just letting the kids raise the other kids too.

            • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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              I think it was scientifically concluded that 5-7 kids were the max before the parents neglected the kids. I can confirm this because in CK3, I wouldn’t even remember that I had 23 kids and most of them grow up to be insignificant or drunks or criminals

              • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                I could see 5-7 being the limit. Most of the families around when I grew up were living on church food. My family did and it was me and 4 siblings with dual income from our parents. Even in the rural areas like ours where it was mostly pig and corn farms they were told to have more kids by the bishop.

                • MarxGuns [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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                  And here I was worried about not being able to pay attention to any more than 1 or 2, geez.

            • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              2 years ago

              Oh man, now there’s a family story that’s becoming more and more uncommon.

              • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                It never happened to my family but my Mom’s sister had 9 kids. Her 1st and 2nd turned around and had that many as well I think too. They all live out in the woods of Missouruh in houses they built themselves. Real frontier Mormons if you catch my drift. That part of the family was always squirrelly tho. Go back far enough and the family tree is more like a family bush.

        • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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          Sabine

          That’s a pretty normal name in Germany fwiw. But the rest were made up by thinky-felix for sure.

          • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            Several are real names, if very weird to choose for a kid and/or slightly misspelled. Like Seneca, Samara (which is both a name and a city/region of Russia), I’ve personally known a Lyra (second worst person I’ve ever known, and the brainwormed truscum former admin of a certain notable trans discord server), and Elsey is definitely a historically attested name (even if spelling it “Elsie” is more common AFAIK). “Roxi” seems to be a cliched stripper name turning into an actual name. Apparently “Rodi” is just an Italian name, derived from the island of Rhodes.

        • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          Celestlynn

          :undyne-joy:

        • frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          Everyone knows Kinsley, I’m about a 4 on his scale!

          • MarxGuns [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            The name reminds me of this goat my cousin had named Kingsley.

        • stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net
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          How are they all like this though

          Is there some secret book of unconventional Mormon names or something

          • VHS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            I think most of them start with 1990s names like Ashley and Kaylee and mash-up the names over and over again until they’re sufficiently Mormon. And then there’s Seneca (presumably after the Roman) and Oaklee (presumably after the sunglasses)

        • HornyOnMain@hexbear.net
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          Ngl I started reading this and then thought that these just seem to be like 50% incredibly transfem names

        • LeZero [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Oaklee

          When your father’s a cop

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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          Now i know where 40k writers get the names for Sororitas.

    • Venus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      Is that like the Innsmouth Look?

    • WithoutFurtherRelay@hexbear.net
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      epidemic

      women who ugly bad. women who pretty but FAKE pretty badder. How dare women try to make their life better under patriarchy’s gaze?

      edit: nvm the article blames the surgeons for preying on body image issues. Good take

      • CoolYori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        Yea the article is a rather good one considering the publication. You can easily read it as a hardliner BYU Mormon student tut tutting tho. In their spare time she probably tries to figure out if their roommate is sneaking her boyfriend into their shared dorm room. Which is a reportable offense at the school that owns that site.

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        We could also consider sexist men pressuring women to do things like this to themselves as the source of the epidemic, it’s basically a matter of framing.

        • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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          literally. like it’s BYU so they can’t say this, but you don’t get here without the church doctrine of “submitting to the husband.”

    • stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net
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      Very fucking sad that this is what western beauty standards have brought us to

      deeper-sadness

  • rubpoll [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    don’t get gender envy from theocratic propaganda

    don’t get gender envy from theocratic propaganda

    don’t get gender envy from theocratic propaganda

    kobeni-sweat

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      Just convert to Mormonology and you too can have gigantulonormous bazingabooberinos

      • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        You also have to marry an eldritch horror currently inhabiting and twisting Chris Pine’s body.

        • MarxGuns [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          Chris Pratt is the religious one, I think, and I think you’re right about the eldritch horror in his body.

          • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            The cartoon man looks vaguely like Chris Pine to me, but I’m a bit face blind so I might be totally off lol.

            • MarxGuns [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              Ooo, i see, yeah, you’re right.

      • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
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        Context dobonhonkeroos https://youtu.be/sOzBubG8rOo

    • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Mormonism is better than hrt for breast growth tbh

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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        When you think about it, what is Mormonism if not a religion dedicated to giant boobs?

      • Tachanka [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        Mammarnism kelly

  • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    mao-wtf men hold up half the tits

  • WithoutFurtherRelay@hexbear.net
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    Pro tip: you do not need to become a theocratic Nazi just to get with a woman you’re attracted to

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      well nothing else has worked

      • ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.combanned_from_community_badge
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        deleted by creator

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          Been in and out of therapy for 22 years when I can afford it and I’m more emotionally stable but still not stable so I guess I’ll die alone

          • ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.combanned_from_community_badge
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            deleted by creator

    • Mindfury [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      in fact, I’d say that becoming a theocratic nazi is counterintiuative to engaging in coitus

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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        Generally speaking, your odds of fucking go way up if you just hang out with lots of other co-eds and act normal.

        Whether the group you’re hanging out with are sports nerds or labor activists or far-right Catholic dogmatists, just socializing regularly and being normal will inevitably mean hanging out with single people you consider attractive. After that, its just a matter of hanging out with those people individually and occasionally flirting to express interest. Lots of other people are just as horny as you are.

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    deleted by creator

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      No she’s just hiding the Golden Plates

      • Venus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        I thought she was just shoplifting watermelons (which would be based to be clear)

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          No the only burden she bears is that of holiness, which her husband must help carry with his fucked up seven-fingered hand

          • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            I had kinda assumed that hand was hers at first glance, helping support her boob. Those things look heavy. 😔 I knew a girl in church youth group who was cursed with a pair like that on a small frame, and she was in constant pain.

  • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    Both her tits are literally the size of the baby.

    • ikilledtheradiostar [comrade/them, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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      Is that where they come from?!?

      • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        Yes, just like how pee is stored in the balls.

      • NewAcctWhoDis [any]@hexbear.net
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        She has twins on the way.

      • Outdoor_Catgirl [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        Oh that’s a disturbing image to think of

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    This has got to be my new favorite genre of reactionary memery. They’re trying to do the whole “uphold traditional lifestyles and value” schtick but can’t help telling on themselves that they think it’s going to mean they can fuck women who look like the porn stars they wank to.

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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      I’m more just into them ping-ponging off other religious propaganda and having to rush in with lame “Uh actually that’s not the exact strain of patriarchal religious trope I was going for! I’m not a Mormon! I’m not a Muslim! I’m not an Orthodox Jew! I just like 20 year old white people who fuck, I swear!”

      • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        There is something entertaining about them not being motivated enough to photoshop out the temple, or pay an artist to make an original, or stick the parameters into an AI art program to spit out a Catholic or Protestant equivalent.

        • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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          I mean, I’m dubious of the claim that its AI art at all. Could easily just be cribbed from some 80s-era “Where Do Babies Come From?” children’s explainer produced by the Mormon Church.

          • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            Agreed, looks like earnest Mormon propaganda photoshopped to give her huge knockers (which would explain why his right hand looks so off). What I meant was, if the Mormon connotations bothered them they could’ve used AI to make something similar.

  • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    I don’t think people like this understand that there’s no real incentive to proselytizing atheism. Start a family with your weird hands and your huge boobed wife, believe whatever you want. I honestly don’t give a shit

    • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.netBanned
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      i have weird hands, where’s my

      spoiler

      mormon temple?

      • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        Its more of a gothic cathedral really. Most of the mormon temples I’ve seen look like a midwest city capitol building

        • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          the best one is in provo

          • Teapot [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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            I think the San Diego one is pretty nice

            • dom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              Disney ass looking building

          • thirtymilliondeadfish [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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            Worlds biggest 5g antenna

          • renata@hexbear.net
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            the one in Mesa is pretty distinct but ya they usually have the pointy steeple thing even when they do a desert motif like this looker in tempe

            • Teapot [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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              The Tempe one is just a chapel, not a temple

              • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                Ironic

          • jimmyjazx [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            I believe it’s being replaced soon if it hasn’t already. By something much more bland of course

            • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              :angry-hex:

        • VHS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          I think it’s the Mormons’ flagship temple in SLC that’s pictured.

          • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            Ahh. I’ve never seen it. Is it at least mounted on the back of a giant robot?

        • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          on a trip to check out some National Parks, we stopped in SLC. i’ve been to the Temple Square and wandered around the Momo temple. the vibes are off the charts. i went across the street to buy some stamps from a “Bookstore” and the closest thing i’ve experienced to it is like Disney World type shit (with how manicured and curated everything is), except the workers BELIEVE Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck is going to walk around the corner at any second and give them all eternal life + omnipotence so long as they act nice and keep faith for the mouse in their hearts.

          if anyone ever gets the chance to go inside the Momo Tabernacle, that is the supreme “this is why you need to shut down cults early on” experience. of course, i’ve never been inside the temple or the inner sanctum obviously. i’m sure that’s jacked, but the Tabernacle is like this giant acoustically perfect room where the massive choir does it’s thing around this gigantic pipe organ. it literally feels like the whole thing is going to launch into space with you inside it and you’ll have to listen to insane choral music delivered by fake plastic smiling faces for eternity as this giant ellipse hurtles into an infinite darkness.

          a uniquely american experience not to be missed.

        • Teapot [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt_Lake_Temple

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      I don’t think people like this understand that there’s no real incentive to proselytizing atheism

      Sure there is, it’s a way of combating theocratic law

      • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        Maybe. Not a particularly effective one. People don’t embrace religious dogma because they think its logically correct, particularly in heavily theocratic societies. They follow it because there are material reasons for them to do so and unless you can change that any edgy, “Wheres your god now!?” shit isn’t going to accomplish much

        • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          I said advocating for Atheism, not being an edgy nuatheist prick, which is obviously worse than useless. Talking can’t change everything, but it’s not literally nothing either.

  • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Just imagine the prompt fed to the AI to get this output

    • Targuinia [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      14 words, big boobs

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        the difference between today’s nazis and the nazis of 30 years ago is the ones today get even less pussy

        • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          Also a porn addiction.

      • Catradora_Stalinism [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netBanned
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        Huge Honkers

        • Tachanka [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          grab a hold of these instead

          • UlyssesT@hexbear.net
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            deleted by creator

          • Catradora_Stalinism [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netBanned
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            but comrade where is animal farm

      • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        North Korean statue as a 2D illustration but woth white people

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 years ago

      “White Christian couple with baby and woman has gadornkulous bazoombas like some real massive dommy mommy milkerinos a pair of absolutely collosal hoohahyabbos humina humina humina”

      • UlyssesT@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        deleted by creator

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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      2 years ago

      This looks more like one of those old 80s childrens’ books that a Mormon publisher would have produced.

  • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Y’all think this is funny? The moment he removes his hand, her spine snaps - it’s a medical necessity 😤

    • PosadistInevitablity [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      I straight up thought that was her own hand.

      • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        you can’t tell because the algorithm is, in fact, just mashing together a bunch of pictures of different things

      • Leon_Grotsky [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        I think it is? It looks like there is a green sleeve on that arm, but this just raises more questions about proportions.

        • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          I think I see a second set of fingers, perhaps that’s her hand there clutching his. Proportions and perspective are weird here though so shrug-outta-hecks .

          • Leon_Grotsky [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            If there was one person’s hand over the other that could also explain the extra fingers.

          • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            I think that’s his arm

  • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    This picture makes my back hurt

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 years ago

      Move to Utah

      Be a chiropractor

      • ElChapoDeChapo [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        chiropractor

        brace-cowboy

    • retrolasered@lemmy.zip
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      2 years ago

      Wont vaccinate incase of tiny microchips.

      Feeds baby silicon laced breastmilk.

  • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Getting a shirt like that must be hard to find

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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    2 years ago

    What’s particularly funny about posts like these is that it often comes from dudes who are in their 20s or 30s but still single. They don’t have children, girlfriends, or wives but are giving out family advice.

    They are also likely incels and despise white women and fetishize Asian women, but again, they’re nowhere near the family stage so it’s just a dude larping as a trad nationalist father figure but is probably barely older than a high school senior

  • Einstein@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    You’re all so obsessed with her breasts you failed to notice him breastfeeding the baby. This is what happens when Christians get too scared of sex education.

    • Krem [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      bicepfeeding

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        Straight from the cephalic vein.

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      i think he’s just holding it weird because the AI doesn’t know how you’re supposed to hold a baby

  • Monk3brain3 [any, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    It’s not wholesome without groping

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