“Sorry I left wet footprints on the floor again”
“I touched a cold pole and now I’m stuck, please bring a spatula”
“It was slimey when I found it”
“Everyones a little bit moist sometimes. Stop judging me just because I slide everywhere on a layer of goo!”
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I saw this right after I got out of the shower, please leave me alone I’m one of the good ones I promise
please don’t get any of my good posts wet
“Do you have a fresh towel?”
“Why don’t you have any clean towels?”
“How am I supposed to dry off?”
smdh sick of hearing it, leave my towels alone im growing mushrooms
smdh sick of hearing it, leave my towels alone im growing mushrooms
too late i ate em
Spoken like someone incredibly dry and ashy
“crawling out of the ocean was a mistake”
Its not my fault the heat index is 111 and my shirt is soaked through
“I’m sorry, am I not allowed to be wet in here? Where’s the rule that says I can’t be wet? Show me a law.”
“Pass the controller, bro”
“* miscellaneous wet noises*”
“Oh god I got tissue stuck to my face again don’t i”
“Just open a window it’ll dry off naturally”
Spatula? Nah you just need some warm water
“Many Urkels to you, Juice!”
“My favourite song parodist is Wet Al Yankovic”
“It’s time to spray Elon Musk with a civil rights-grade fire hose”
“Uh oh, I’ve almost dried out from April Fools Day”
edit: whilst presenting pruney fingertips “Look, I’m an old man!”
“It’s time to spray Elon Musk with a civil rights-grade fire hose”
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