• GarboDog@lemmy.world
    8·
    2 days ago

    We fucking hate people who constantly try and transvestigate and we also hate those who are co-operative with them because trans people going to the bathroom makes them “uncomfortable” MF WE JUST GOTTA SHIT! WE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU cUZ IM SHITSINNNGGG 💩🚽💥

  • GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    133·
    3 days ago

    The only way to stop imaginary sexual assaults in bathrooms is to sexually assault every person who doesn’t meet our subjective and arbitrary gender expectations.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
      19·
      2 days ago

      I, a cis woman, literally have been assaulted when trying to use a public bathroom because a TERF who had been handing out leaflets outside (it was a city centre public restroom) had decided that I must be trans, and thus my (rather large) boobs must be fake.

      It’s part of why I think it’s so important for cis women to leverage the privilege we have in this context to speak out against transphobia. Experiences like mine underscore the fact that their rhetoric “we care about protecting [cisgender] women” is blatantly bullshit — all they care about is hurting trans women.

      (Though it’s also important to avoid coming across like I’m saying “transphobia is a problem now that it’s affecting me, a cis woman!”. If things were framed that way, then I would be reinforcing the transphobia that I seek to oppose. But figuring out how to be clear about your intention is just a part of learning how to effectively leverage one’s privilege. I find that I’m most able to be clear when I use my experiences as part of a larger point about how feminism needs intersectional solidarity to be effective)

      But yeah, I am legit scared of using public restrooms as a result of bad experiences. I remember when I first had a panic attack about this, following this bad experience (and a few other ones that were less bad, but still upsetting), and I was like “oh damn, do I have some capital-T Trauma about this?”)

      • thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        6·
        2 days ago

        I hope you punched her

        and if you didn’t, i hope another victim punched her

        actually i hope another did regardless of whether you did

    • Patrikvo@lemmy.zip
      13·
      2 days ago

      You know how they solved school shootings by making every student use those transparant backbacks? We can use the same material to make pants!

      • Zoop@beehaw.org
        6·
        2 days ago

        Knock knock. Who’s there?

        Me again!

        Still wondering why you’re not naked.

        • Slovene@feddit.nl
          5·
          2 days ago

          Knock knock. Who’s there?

          Smee. Smee who?

          Smee again.

          Still wondering why you’re not naked.

          • Zoop@beehaw.org
            6·
            2 days ago

            If Smee wants to see that, they’ll have to message me for my payment details first!

            Here’s a YouTube link to the classic song/video we were quoting, in case you or anyone else passing through may be interested.

            Show Me Your Genitals by Joe Lajoie

            Just a warning: it’s easy to get it stuck in your head. I showed it to my mom (who thought it was hilarious) and now at random times there’s a ~60 year old woman wandering around the apartment singing ‘🎶 Show me your genitals! Your genitals! Show me your genitals! Your genitaliaaa! 🎶’ lmao!

            • Slovene@feddit.nl
              3·
              2 days ago

              Thank you! And this is the joke I was referencing:

              A radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

              DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

              Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”

              DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”

              Caller: “Goan… spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ‘go-an’.”

              DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”

              Caller: “Goan fuck yourself!”

              The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

              DJ: “96 FM, what’s your name?”

              Caller: “Hi, me name’s Jeff.”

              DJ: “Jeff, what’s your word?”

              Caller: “Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ‘smee’.”

              DJ: “You are correct, Jeff, ‘smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”

              Caller: “Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!”

              • Zoop@beehaw.org
                2·
                2 days ago

                Haha! I love that! I hadn’t heard that one yet. Thank you for sharing it! :)

  • ieatpwns@lemmy.world
    69·
    3 days ago

    I wanna know the number of terfs that have multiple bathrooms at home because this shit is dumb as fuck.

    • noughtnaut@lemmy.world
      4·
      2 days ago

      In Sierra’s Space Quest game, there’s a hallway with two doors leading to restrooms. Enter through either door, and you’ll get to the exact same room, with both doors visible.

      I, as a very young teen, thought this was a funny commentary on “given the multitude of races, what even matters the genders of one species?” I don’t really believe they were that progressive - this was in the 80s even before the aids scare - but that “what does it matter” point has stuck with me ever since.

    • JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      19·
      2 days ago

      I was once harassed by a male security guard while using a single occupancy porta potty. We need to stop making excuses for bigots.

    • Art3mis@lemmy.world
      21·
      2 days ago

      There have been a lot popping up all over. Even my hometown in the south had a college with coed bathrooms.

      I came out of the stall to a very masc presenting person at the sink and was confused. Then noticed the urinals in the corner, and when i left i noticed the “unisex” next to the rstroom sign. Very cool imo.

      Remember kids, its illegal to be a creep in public bathrooms no matter what your gender is. The sign on the door wont stop a bad actor and most people just have to pee.

    • GarboDog@lemmy.world
      5·
      2 days ago

      Those are a thing and are really popular in NYC. It’s just a line of individual private restroom with sinks in the hall :P (Ps: If that was sarcasm were too autistic to tell sorry)

  • AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.socialEnglish
    45·
    3 days ago

    I find way more worrying that a random fanatic woman goes around asking to see girl and woman genitals than the idea of sharing a bathroom with another person who happens to pee from a “non-default” pee hole.

    But I guess I’m a weirdo so it must be me.

    • FosterMolasses@leminal.spaceEnglish
      8·
      2 days ago

      Especially with all the women they’ve recently named complicit on the Epstein list.

      Women can be pedophiles and sexual abusers too. Especially when it comes to preying on someone younger and weaker than they are, like little girls. Sexual abuse is about power.

    • Tonava@sopuli.xyz
      6·
      2 days ago

      It’s incomprehensible to me how some people can care so much about what equipment random people have. Terfs are sick in the head

      • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
        9·
        2 days ago

        I find TERFs to be quite tragic, if I’m honest. As much as I rage against them, I feel a lot of sympathy for them, because their hate often comes from a place of suffering from patriarchal violence and feeling so powerless against that that transphobia is gives them a sense of false empowerment.

        I remember back when the “Gender Critical” subreddit was a thing, and still relatively small, I checked it out, because I had heard a bunch about it, and was curious; it wasn’t initially clear to me that “Gender Critical” basically just meant “transphobia but we pretend to be feminists”. I remember feeling such sorrow when I read through their semi-regular “just no trans” threads, in which people would tell the story of how they became “gender critical” — what their “just no trans” moment was. It was almost comical how many of the stories there took the form of “I was abused by a cis man, and when I tried to get justice for this, I was revictimised by the same patriarchal systems that enable this kind of misogyny in the first place. Anyway, that’s why I hate trans women”.

        There were a lot of people with real trauma there, and it hurt so much to realise that for many of them, transphobia effectively serves as a maladaptive coping measure for that trauma. Not only are they hurting other women (and people who aren’t women but are affected by patriarchal oppression — trans men still require reproductive healthcare, for instance), both trans and cis (For instance, I am a cis woman who has experienced bio-essentialist misogyny from cis men, and also transphobia violence from TERFS), they’re also hurting themselves too.

        It reminds me a bit of Jean Paul Sartre’s thing about anti-Semitism being the socialism of fools — transphobia is the feminism of fools. They’re just making things worse for everyone, and I hate them for that. However, their underlying oppression is real, and I weep for the fact that they’re unwittingly being party to their own continued oppression. Their hate wouldn’t be justified even if transphobia was a genuine solution to their problems, but I find it extra tragic that the hate is as toxic to the ones who hold it as the ones who are the recipient of it.

        I know that, for my part, being in community with trans people has made me feel much more secure and happy in my own individual sense of womanhood, and in terms of the systemic battle, I feel much more confident as a feminist who understands the necessity of an intersectional solidarity. None of us are free until all of us are free, and that includes TERFs. I don’t know how to help them when they’re so insistent on being their own jailers though.

        • AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.socialEnglish
          5·
          2 days ago

          I don’t know how to help them when they’re so insistent on being their own jailers though.

          Their hate to trans women comes from the fact that they hate men (probably because of the systematic misogyny of our society) because of unprocessed and unaccepted trauma. They can’t (or don’t want to) understand that trans women are, in fact, women, so they just focus on them the hate they feel for men. It’s just misandry with extra steps.

          The problem here is that they are so focused on hating that they can’t see beyond it. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

        • Tonava@sopuli.xyz
          5·
          2 days ago

          That’s beautifully put, I agree.

          Being trans I’m just personally really tired to endlessly understand the people who turn their miserable hatred onto people like me, since I am forced to encounter them too often online even if I’m avoiding the places they’re infesting. I’d of course prefer they’d get all the help they need to process their traumas into something less harmful, but I’m still running pretty low on empathy towards all people who’d probably stone me to death if they could

    • WanderingThoughts@europe.pub
      191·
      3 days ago

      Some people do weird things when they get a little power over others and are not actually that committed to the cause.

      Reminds me of the controversy at the BAFTA. Everyone outraged that the guy the movie was about (I Swear, about Tourette) did a really Tourette thing, and lots of those complaining where from the social justice persuasion.

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
      3·
      2 days ago

      There’s a Youtuber I sometimes listen to who’s a native English speaker but pronounces “women” as “woman” and it sticks out to me every time I hear it. I don’t know why she says it that way, but as far as I know, her background includes South Africa and England.

      Do people pronounce those words the same way in some parts of South Africa? I’ve never heard those words pronounced the same way in any UK, Irish, or American (including Canada here) accents. I have far less exposure to South African English, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the Youtuber in question has a dialect I’m just unfamiliar with.

    • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
      61·
      2 days ago

      Because English is tricky, inconsistent, and sometimes downright stupid with its seemingly arbitrary spelling rules, especially with plurals

          • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
            51·
            2 days ago

            And “woman” vs “women” is something that you see, what, 1500 times a day? Yeah it’s a real puzzler.

            • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
              2·
              2 days ago

              What? No, not even close. What do you do that makes you think it’s normal to see the words women/woman 1500 times a day?

              Also, did the typo hinder your ability to understand the comic? I don’t think I even noticed it until I read your comment complaining about it. I can’t fathom why someone would care so much that they feel the need to point it out.

  • lobut@lemmy.ca
    15·
    2 days ago

    I had a friend that was SO concerned about who was using what bathroom. He’s not a transphobe and has a transgender friend.

    He just got really worked up about it and kept questioning me about it. Which makes me always respond with: “I’m a progressive”. He was like, “why do I get hate if I just say there’s two genders”, I said “it’s 'cause you’re wrong, ignoring the definition of gender, you know there are intersex people right?” … and we get stuck into this loop where he doesn’t really understand what I’m saying and gets into why he deserves any hate for saying there’s only two genders. No talk about sex vs gender or anything else makes any movement forward. Even if you think there’s only two genders, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to them.

    • FosterMolasses@leminal.spaceEnglish
      18·
      2 days ago

      I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe. Prejudice doesn’t always come with violence and slurs.

      • dev_null@lemmy.ml
        6·
        2 days ago

        Is someone who believes there are only two genders, and that’s it’s perfectly valid to transition between the two, a transphobe?

        They are certainly wrong, but I feel like that’s an incorrect classification at that point.

        • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
          15·
          2 days ago

          A book that I really appreciated was “Racism without racists”. It looks at the question of why racism is so prevalent when there aren’t many people who consider themselves to be racist? And one answer to that is that many people who aren’t actively racist (or at least, don’t consider themselves to be, and may not be considered racist by other people) often still unintentionally perpetuate systemic racism, precisely because of the widely held notion that racism happens because of racist people. It’s more complicated than that. (This is why it’s not enough to be non-racist, we must strive to be anti-racist if we want to combat systemic racism).

          In a similar vein, I would say that the hypothetical person you’re asking about would be perpetuating transphobia, but I don’t necessarily know if I’d call them transphobic — mostly because I think “transphobic” is not a particularly useful term in this context. People tend to become defensive when they are called transphobic/racist, and that can make it harder to convert people from being non-[racist/transphobic] into anti-[racist/transphobic].

          I think it’s probably better to move to a model of thinking of harms like racism and transphobia as things that you do, rather than things that you are. For instance, although I would consider myself to be both anti-racist and anti-transphobic, there are still times where I think or do things that are racist or transphobic (in the sense of contributing to systemic racism or transphobia). However, the reason why I consider myself anti-racist and anti-transphobic is precisely because I work to hold myself accountable for these things, and to understand my part in the wider systemic oppression (and how I can undermine said oppression).

          The transphobia example really sticks out to me, because as someone who is cisgender and bisexual, I always considered myself a trans ally, but it was in a nebulous, ineffectual way that is a big part of why “ally” has some negative connotations these days. I was anxious about doing or saying something wrong, and that meant that considering myself an ally was mostly of benefit to my own sense of being a good person. I knew trans people, but I wasn’t super close to any of them.

          However, when my long term partner came out to me as trans, that catalysed me learning a heckton in order to support her, which made me realise how useless my “allyship” had been previously. I don’t know if I would consider that earlier version of me to be transphobic, but certainly I was unintentionally perpetuating systemic transphobia far more than I do now.

      • lobut@lemmy.ca
        3·
        2 days ago

        I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe

        You think so? I usually try to avoid using those terms for more overt displays?

        I won’t deny that the cognitive dissonance is jarring though. I think there’s a few schools of thought here. I can either cut them out of my life or I can slow burn them over time. I’ve known this guy for a long time and he respect me to a degree … so I’d rather be that friend that pulls him back to what I see as normal.

      • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        In a certain sense, I agree with you. However, I don’t necessarily think it’s productive to call people like this transphobic. I go into detail on why I think this in a reply to the other person who replied to you.

        • Of the Air (cele/celes)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          4·
          1 day ago

          Is it productive to call someone transphobic ever (at least to their face)?

          We would guess it does no good to most people as they instantly get defensive because most people care more about not being called a bigot than actually not being one.

          Edit: Look around lemmy and reddit etc, it’s filled with people like this.

  • _‌_反いじめ戦隊@ani.socialEnglish
    33·
    3 days ago

    One of them wanted to trans-investigate me simply because she couldn’t wait on the singular toilet the restaurant had. I told her “in use” like 3 times.