Wet dreams? Though when I’m sick, congestion seems to disappear when I sleep (only to return after I wake up.) So if that’s normal and if wet dreams have some kind of decongestant property, we may never know.

I have an app on my phone (called “CVSimulator”) that represents types of colorblindness. I’ve shown it to people who are actually red/green colorblind and got confirmation from them that it’s pretty accurate.

Red/green colorblindness in humans can be either protanope or deuteranope. I’m not sure which one dogs would have (if someone is more knowledgeable on this, please chime in!) However, this is how my app interprets this image. The top is protanope, the bottom is deuteranope:

So it’s a little off, but some of the colors are correct.

Literally me the first time I saw the “Milky Way.” I know, we’re in the Milky Way, but I mean the galactic disk that looks like milk and gave it its name. I was on a church trip (ugh) that took us to the mountains. We arrived at night and when I stepped out of the car and looked up I just stared for… what felt like forever.

I always loved the night sky, but that night I was in pure awe. It was the only redeeming part of that miserable trip.

Surprisingly,

Don’t worry, some of us are keeping the astronomy spirit alive in the younger generation. There’s a 5 year old kid I work with who can name tons of celestial objects that my coworkers have never heard of. It makes for fun inside jokes/references. Sometimes when we’re with another person, he’ll compare our distances to each other and say, “You’re Alpha Centauri A, I’m Alpha Centauri B, and he/she’s Proxima Centauri.”

Aw crap, that’s my age.

I’m easily mistaken for younger, though, being a playful adult. I don’t think there’s any age I’d want to go “back” to from here, unless I could bring the knowledge and skills that I have today with me.

Eww, I wouldn’t do him even if I were at gunpoint.

Excellent use of the Pareto Principle

That bottom right picture - forbidden stress ball.

Punishing descendants is absolutely a part of the bible. Women experiencing pain during childbirth is supposedly a punishment for Eve eating the forbidden fruit.

One doesn’t have to be internationally important to not want their audio recorded in their own private space.

And the mess will return in no time, because the kid will be looking for something specific and they’ll have to pull everything out of the closet just to find it.

No paid leave no matter what.

Unless you’re a cop and you just shot a kid, of course. Then it’s paid vacation time, baby.

The laptop I have now has its own camera cover, but when I had a laptop that didn’t have it, I was able to buy little slider stickers to put over it. I don’t want to link any particular website, but if you look up “laptop camera slider sticker” you can easily find them.

I hope they like me talking to myself in funny voices and belting out songs at the top of my lungs, because that’s all the audio they’ll get out of me.

“It” from South Park might as well be a reality.

Salt has been demonized a lot, and that bothers me because individuals’ needs can vary significantly. I rarely eat processed food, or at least “processed” meaning “with salt already added” - I do use a lot of frozen veggies.

Anyway, whenever I get blood tests done, my sodium levels are almost too low - it’s in the healthy range, but at the lowest threshold of healthy. I shudder to think what the level would look like if I didn’t cook with soy sauce now and then.

Salt isn’t like a poison we all need to avoid - it’s crucially important for us all, just in the right amounts.

Hard agree. But I’m autistic, and as far back as I can remember, I’ve avoided social interactions. My mom talks about how I happily played by myself as a toddler. I also remember a neighbor kid who seemed to call constantly to ask to play, and I turned her down over and again. (She eventually back-stabbed me, so don’t feel too bad for her.)

Some people legit like to be around others. Some people can’t stand the thought of spending time alone at all. Everyone’s built differently. For me, it takes a special kind of person to make me want to socialize with them (almost always other neuro-divergent folks, where I can “remove the mask” so to speak.)

My work recently treated my group of coworkers to subs, but I don’t eat meat and didn’t have any. Instead, my manager said she’d reimburse me, and broke down the price of the sandwiches (which everyone else split) to calculate $7 per person. So I was given $7 Doordash credit.

$7. On Doordash. The fuck am I supposed to do with that?

c/DadJokes is 👉 that way