Ive been out of school for a year or 2 (i lost count) and i still have no idea what i want to do in life nor do i have any hobbys or things to do for fun. I have many dreams but i give up on those dreams after like a 2 weeks and then think of some other dream. I wish school prepared me for all this freetime but idk, i just feel lost right now…
Im just wondering how i can figure things out now? i could use advice of sorts?
I’m assuming you’re not rich, so the first thing is: get a job. Start to work and saving what you can. It’s important to keep moving to keep the inertia going and not stall in a place where you’re completely broke.
What job? Whatever. Do Uber. Do McDonalds. Look for something. Get experience. Forget about dreams. They are useless and overrated. In the process of doing jobs, be curious. Spend the energy you would spend on dreaming into observing. You will find quickly what you like and what you hate. If the job is not for you get out and find another one. Go towards things you like, feel comfortable and feel capable doing.
While doing it ask yourself “What’s next?”, followed by “How?”. I’m working in car shop cleaning and organizing, what’s next? Fixing cars looks interesting, maybe I should try that? How? I’ll try to learn from these guys and do courses. What’s next? I may get a job fixing cars. Great, I know how to fix cars, they hired me and I like it. What’s next? Maybe having my own shop? How? You get the idea.
Keep a diary. It’s hard because it feels ridiculous. Like a teenager rambling about feelings. I still hate doing it to this day, and I’m 50. But it gives me insights about things I’m doing, because it helps you to see patterns in your behaviour. Like quitting when things were too hard to do because the noise in my head was unbearable and I had this depression that would not quit and I felt I as an alien around people and maybe I should do therapy and HOLY FUCK I’m autistic and that’s why EVERYTHING was so hard. The knowledge you may gain doing a diary is unvaluable. Do it the way you feel comfortable (or less painful) to do - physical notebook, computer, tablet, whatever.
In short: keep on moving, be curious, be self-reflective.
That’s all what I have for now, good luck!
Take random jobs.
Take random courses. (College or vocational)
A lot of people stumble into their carrers. Don’t sweat it to much if you don’t have to.
Ok this one is hard
- Don’t sweat it, you have time. I only discovered what I was good at(and had fun to do) late in life.
- work and/or study. Find shit job, they build character. They’re hard, they stinks, you’ll hate them. That’s life but that’s also part of the process. They’re probably low cost school in your area, take stupid course, art, programming, another language, etc. Don’t do nothing
- open a saving account doesn’t matter how little you put in their but it’s a start
- have fun
I’d take 2 with a grain of salt.
There’s a lot of people out there happy to take your time and money, just to give you shit all for pay or a degree worth less than the paper it was printed on.
Work for sure, but always understand your value - and always be looking for a better opportunity.
Society HATES poor people, and a lot of people out there actively try to sustain themselves on others good will.
A shit job will help to gain the understanding of what that means while putting at least a little money in the pocket if it is a trade for doing nothing at all.
But a significant enough portion of the population will deal with the stress with unhealthy (and expensive) coping mechanisms.
Young people usually don’t have the life experience to understand how unhealthy these habits can be, and can carry them for life.
There’s enough shit to deal with these days as is, workers deserve to utilise the labour shortage for better working conditions.
I’m in my 30’s and still don’t know what the fuck I want to do most of the time. Just do what makes you happy in your free time and what makes you money for work. If you can make those things overlap, fantastic. But I’ve always found that doing what I love for money makes me love it less. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get it all figured out. Noone has it all figured out by the time they die, and it’s not worth wasting your time worrying instead of living.
Be good to yourself and others and you’ll have few regrets.
I knew what I wanted to do: nothing.
I don’t dream of work. So I became a manufacturing operator. More than half my work days in a year are pure idle time.
I’m 42 and this is great advice. I still don’t know what the fuck I want to do with my life. I have a job that pays decent and I don’t hate it, this second part is really important. I have a fun and fulfilling time in my free time. That’s about all I can ask for.
Be good to yourself and others and you’ll have few regrets.
Super important!
Try a few jobs until you find the least-worse one.
Just try things. You’ll figure out what you like/don’t like fairly quickly and you might stumble into something you absolutely love.
There’s value in working a job and realizing it is not what you want to do as well. I did that for 10 years before I realized that I want to do something else instead and that I didn’t like having a boss either.
Likewise, it’s possible to change careers 10 years in. I was laid off earlier this year and don’t really feel like going back. I have other plans.
I did that. Went into IT after working blue collar, mainly trucking. Wanted out because it was a dead end job. I had been fumbling with programming for over a decade and knew I liked that field a lot. Now I graduated college this year and im about to start my first job as a software developer. It’s been called a dying career as well, but I’m not convinced LLM’s will have the same effect on SWE that selfdriving trucks will have on truck driving. Truck driving is only truck driving, SWE has much more depth and breath, there is still plenty fun things to do in that field if coding really was solved (which I don’t think it is).
It took me a while to get here, but I’ve never been more passionate about a job than I am now. I was never happy in my job,but all the experience I’ve gained working blue collar jobs is not entirely lost. They made me a better person, they made me appreciate what I have, they made me independant, they made me a practical problemsolver and they gave me a very good work ethic. I believe it is thanks to those values that I’ve managed to get a junior role in this shitty market.
Fwiw, SWE is exactly the profession I’m incredibly unhappy with specifically because of AI. Depth and breath doesn’t matter as much as metric scoreboards and speed sadly
Yeah, that is also not the kind of employer I’m looking for. I don’t have an SLA with my employer, I actually want to work there. If you want someone who spews out metrics, you should hire an external contractor. I wouldn’t want to touch a workplace like that with a ten feet pole. If end up in such a place (I have worked in such places, they’re common in factory work), I will immediately coninue my job hunt.
Glad you found a job that works for you, definitely hold on to that.
I’m hoping to find something small in that space while I switch to my other career path, but I’ve been looking at the job boards for some time and literally everything is slop. I have 10+ years in corp engineering but want nothing to do with that in its current state
I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was well in my 30s. Prior to that, I worked at a very big retail bank and worked from a teller to a regional manager with over 220 stores under me.
You know what. I fucking hated every moment of that job.
I quit after my mom passed and they gave me 2 weeks off and then I was back into the grind.
I took 1 year off and decided to go into tech. The one place I enjoyed doing on my spare time.
I got my first tech job at 36. And since then have owned my own company and worked for big corporate companies.
You sorta have to try things and hate things before you know what you want.
i struggled with this after high school too. i hated school so much all i could think about was getting out so i never planned anything for my future. ended up doing community college for a few years before choosing a degree to get kinda randomly just to get away from home. after graduating it turned out i hated the work and i decided i needed a change, which brings me to the part that might help you.
when it came down to actually deciding what to do with my future i sat down and asked myself, if i could do literally anything i wanted, like life was an open world rpg video game and all i had to do was pick something i wanted and go for it, what would i do? completely ignore what other people might think, or what they might expect from you, or whether what you want is hard as fuck, or even whether you think you can do it or not. the main thing is to get to the unfiltered truth of what you want, deep down. where you go from there is up to you, but if you can figure out what you really want im guessing youll find the motivation to make it happen.
when i did this for myself it felt so liberating. i settled on space exploration, which is pretty broad, and wound up deciding to go back to school to study engineering. it was honestly terrifying because id never even done calculus and if it didnt work out i didnt know how i was going to live, but im really glad i did because it all worked out.
hopefully this helps you. just remember the most important thing is to be honest with yourself.
Good career advice in this thread.
I’m just going to kick in: Get on the Eightfold Path. I wish I would have started as a teen. But, ya know, that’s not the way it happened, so🤷.
Good luck! Seek to create joy always!
Don’t beat yourself up for not having a plan. You’re not an aberration in society. The people who plan everything are just the loudest so we think that’s the norm. Sooner or later, out of necessity or love, you’ll hit upon an idea that you’ll pursue.
Being intentional about it can help. A handful of suggestions I don’t see in the top replies.
Volunteer: If there are any causes which you think are definitely good, find a local chapter (even something related) and show up! See what you can do for them. Make a friend and learn a bit about what they find fulfilling/interesting.
Travel and talk: If you’ve got money put aside, I might suggest a larger trip through (EU, US, broader culture, etc). You want to take a long train and talk with others traveling, see what they’re working on, hear how their lives have gone. Ask about their time after high school. See some historical sites, some art, and some local foods.
Local events: Check out the programming at a local library, pub, etc. Go to several things and see what’s happening!
Consider reading something like atomic habits (or in its genre); dreams aren’t terribly effective for doing things. Things get done because they’re important to who you are. If there’s a kind of person you want to be, focus on doing little things that reinforce that image.
School unfortunately does a pretty bad job preparing folks for what comes after. You go from a strictly regulated lifestyle where you are given very little freedom to a lifestyle you have to construct on your own.
The best way to figure things out is to give it a try. Maybe you saw a flyer for a trivia night and that vaguely interests you? Give it a try. Did a video about making a ship in a bottle catch your eye? Give it a try. Did you see someone having a really good time riding a skateboard and idly wonder if it’d be fun? Give it a try.
You shouldn’t feel bad on trying stuff and not continuing with them after a bit. That just means you weren’t really into that thing as much as you thought you might be.
A lot of the stuff you try might not be for you. I found out that I hate trivia at bars through personal experience. But that’s ok, cuz I also found out I love karaoke at bars when the karaoke crowd came in after trivia. You’ll meet people you like. You’ll meet people you dislike. You’ll meet people you are largely ambivalent about. It might take awhile, but you should only move at your own pace. Don’t worry about other people and stay focused on yourself.
Something important to learn is that you should not be defined by your job. Your job is just something you do to pay the bills. If you are lucky, you’ll have a job that you like and is personally fulfilling, but that’s pretty rare in this day and age. You are much more likely to find happiness and fulfillment outside your job.
Try to enjoy the little things in life. I have been trying to make the perfect breakfast for a few years now as a way to get myself to enjoy waking up in the morning. Stack up your little joys and hopefully, you’ll have enough joy for the entire day. Maybe even enough joy to share with others.
Much like exercise, there’s no real shortcut to self-actualization. You’ll need to do a lot of experimentation to find what you like an enjoy. I would recommend finding a consumptive hobby and a constructive hobby. You most likely already have tried a bunch of consumptive hobbies, as our society encourages consumption. If you haven’t I would highly recommend experimenting with constructive hobbies, where you make stuff. It doesn’t have to be drawing art, it can be stuff like working with wood, assembling models, writing reviews to bad movies. Anything where you add something to the world that didn’t exist before. Consumptive hobbies I enjoy are reading books and eating cookies. Constructive hobbies I enjoy are making linoprints and baking cookies.
Your fears and doubts are ones that countless humans have experienced. They overcame those doubts and I’m sure you can too. You are not alone in your struggles and if things ever get too tough, there are always people willing to lend you a hand.
Good luck, buddy.
Imagine that your body is like a metal detector, but instead of making noise it makes emotions. Excitement is the primary signal that you’re going in the right direction. Fear is a secondary signal. If you do something because you are afraid of something else, that’s the wrong direction usually. If you do something because it excites you, that’s the right direction. Sometimes, if you are afraid of something that’s the thing you should do (lean into the fear).
This is how you “figure it out”. There is no framework, there is no rubric. Everything you can be told from the outside is already outdated. The clearest most accurate signal will always come directly from your experience of your body
My advice - get out there now and put yourself in different scenes and see what you actually enjoy being immersed in. Go to a locally owned hippy farm. Apply to be an extra on a local movie set. ask to take a tour at a local power plant. Do all the events you can, ask to see inside whatever business or org you can think of and talk to people. Show interest when you are interested. Don’t let fear of being annoying stop you. That’s the only way you’re going to figure out what you really want to do. And that’s how you’ll meet the right people
“local movie set”
American?
