tbh i was confused about why you put a serious post in the shitposting community but it still doesn’t warrant the type of response you received!
There are people claiming there isn’t much misogyny on lemmy? Have they been here?
They have, but they’re men so they don’t see it because it’s not directed at them.
Of course if even the slightest hint of criticism of men shows up, they feel personally attacked and it’s misandry.
It’s like early reddit in here. Bunch of nerdy gamer mysogynists. At least everyone feels like real people.
Yeah I love it for feeling real, but I do miss the mid-late 10s reddit era, not the early reddit era.
The thing I missed most when switching over here is women’s spaces
There’s !womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone and probably others.
EDIT: (fuck didn’t realize I was already here lollll need to pay more attention)
You know I’ve heard a lot about that place :p
Fr though I’d much rather this kind of people not knowing they’re here than the majority of what we get lol
That’s this place :)
Do you know of any others?
There’s !badwomensanatomy@lemmy.blahaj.zone (for making fun of ignorant people). That’s the only one I’ve seen much of although just searching for “women” and filtering for communities on a preferred instance seems to be a good start.
There’s also the Lemmy Explorer.
deleted by creator
Ooh that’s a good one! Thank you!
The thing I missed most when switching over here is women’s spaces
Saaaaame. So much the same here. Which is another reason I’m such a pain in the ass when sexism is allowed here. Because I want to help build a space that welcomes women as well.
And it’s like, if we (humans, collectively) want to make our spaces welcoming and safe, then we (again, humans) need to actively police our spaces to enforce the kind of social norms that we want; community building takes work, after all.
But bloody hell, it’s exhausting when that typically just means that we (women) are expected to do a disproportionate amount of the emotional and social labour. Quelle surprise
Is there going to be a gentrification that happens when forums get larger or attract more users?
In some ways, I hope so. There should be some second thinking happening before comments are posted, particularly those looking for a quick joke at the expense of a marginalized group.
Framing it as gentrification is interesting.
gentrification (noun) gen·tri·fi·ca·tion ˌjen-trə-fə-ˈkā-shən
: a process in which a poor area (as of a city) experiences an influx of middle-class or wealthy people who renovate and rebuild homes and businesses and which often results in an increase in property values and the displacement of earlier, usually poorer residents
I made a post about how I had a nicer time playing Sea of Thieves with a woman than with a bunch of boys, and got called a sexist.
Wow.
And also, relatable! I also typically prefer the company of women, online and otherwise. We just understand each other better!
I just looked up what’s going on with her, and… yikes. The men saying such things are disgusting, evil people. I don’t even like Ariana Grande!
I actually dislike her (for both political reasons and musical taste), and even still I think it’s horrible and feel sorry for her!
I genuinely hope she manages to get well soon—eating disorders are so awful.
I’m so worried she’ll kill herself. I’m also not a fan but the poor thing is pitiful.
it’s massive on Lemmy. any time you bring up an issue women have consistently faced in a patriarchal society, there’s people crawling out of the woodworks with the “not all men” bs.
it’s interesting, in my experience there’s enough knowledge of feminism on Lemmy for men to acknowledge that these things are issues, but most of those men don’t seem ready to accept that they can help implement actual change by calling out their friends and family. instead, it devolves to rhetoric that serves only to deepen the societal divide they claim to be against. definitely disappointing from a progressive and leftist platform.
People are happy to spout slogans like “ACAB” and “Eat the rich!”, but once they are faced with something that asks them to change their behavior, the hackles go up and they get all defensive.
I dunno, I spend most of my time on .ml, hexbear, and the grad so sexism tends to get called out better there
Lemmy is the worst at this out of any site I have ever used. I’d never even consider recommending it to anyone I know because of that.
I mean this community is the best example of that: “oh Lemmy has a woman’s only community, that’s so nice and accommodating”
But then the community gets brigaded from people who are not women at any possible occasion, doubling and tripling down how they have the right to force everyone to read their useless opinion and do not have to read or understood the simplest rules in turn, it is insane! At least the mods here are absolute gems but wow is that exhausting.I preface talking about Lemmy by framing it as similar to 4chan and early Reddit.
In other words, full of salty, sexist men who think they’re superior for how they use computers.
.world seems to be especially bad, maybe because it’s so large. i blocked the entire instance ages ago since i get most all my content from more niche communities anyway. i reckon it’s made my experience more enjoyable overall.
Does that not block users as well? I’m a .world user so I assumed it would block me as well.
no i can still see comments (and maybe even posts?) as long as they’re in a community hosted on a different instance
Thank you!
That’s the one reason I’ve hesitated on blocking the entire instance. I don’t want to block the users as well.
As a .world user I appreciate being able to be seen.
I really should check out some other instances, even if I’m unlikely to switch anytime soon
Giving a shout out to my instance. Mr. Manager is cool and you can see every instance. It’s fun watching the secret hexbears in the comments calling everyone a shitlib and spouting surprisingly high level political theory.
I would hate to lose your comments! I always enjoy seeing you pop up in discussions :)
Someone else asked you a question: depending on the answer, you might not be able to answer, and I’m curious since I haven’t done any blocking on here yet…
BrickEater@lemmy.world:
Does that not block users as well? I’m a .world user so I assumed it would block me as well.i can see it! just real slow to reply lol
thank you for double checking though ^^
Misogyny on Lemmy is crazy. I honestly think its worse than reddit, I genuinely see it daily. Random meme communities will frequently have gross memes that if you think about for 1.8 seconds they are super misogynistic. Honestly it’s depressing.
Reminds me of early Reddit
It’s worse than Reddit. There’s less diversity on Lemmy and that allows for the misogyny to flourish.
Probably, yeah. Lemmy feels like a “boys club” in the way men act here, its really gross.
Honestly the first time I recognized your username was seeing you call it out in a random thread somewhere. Actually I think it was about violet too? I can’t remember.
Honestly the first time I recognized your username was seeing you call it out in a random thread somewhere. Actually I think it was about violet too? I can’t remember.
Probably, I’ve gone to bat for violet a few times now haha. The men here love to sexualize her, but HATE when she speaks about anything other than sex.
I didn’t initially join Lemmy to be the outspoken feminist, but I couldn’t help myself shrug
They also love to vocally hate her for being horny… If you don’t like her just block and move on, she’s not harming anyone. Also I notice a lot of the hate is the exact same that goes to all women who take ownership and enjoyment of their sexuality.
Women are only supposed to be horny when men want them to be. And they better shut their mouths otherwise.
Or at least that’s how violet is treated on Lemmy.
And it should never be in such a way that makes them feel inadequate or like she’s in charge of her own sexuality.
I’ve seen this shit a million times from violet, to female musicians, to women involved in alternative sexual lifestyles, to just horny women who refuse to apologize for it.
I’m convinced “violet” is a young boy in his early teens who gets off pretending to be a thirsty “woman” on the internet. Based solely on… Everything they’ve ever posted.
And I’m convinced she’s in the right community while you’re not.
Oh whoops. I just browse my home feed and comment on stuff. Didn’t realize what community I was commenting on. Carry on.
Women are horny as well. I wasn’t so sure on violet initially, but I’m actually quite positive they’re a woman at this point.
Have you checked the rules for this community?
I’m convinced “violet” is a young boy in his early teens who gets off pretending to be a thirsty “woman” on the internet. Based solely on… Everything they’ve ever posted.
Could you go be convinced of that literally anywhere else and fuck off?
I didn’t realize I’d wandered into the angry lioness’ den. My bad. I’ve Lemmy via Voyager since its inception and there’s really no obvious clue what community you’re in unless you really look for it. The vitriol towards all men is a strong clue though, going forward. Community blocked. Sorry, ladies. And “violet” 🙄
Or you could, y’know, read the post you’re commenting on.
“angry lioness’ den”? that’d be a good name for a com on here tbh…
kinda sexist, though. you can get help for that; maybe get it checked out?
That’s some bullshit. I use Voyager and it’s clear which community a post belongs.
EDIT: I’ve dropped my insult. This man handled this very poorly originally and failed to not only respect the rules of the community but went out of his way to disregard them and also insult women in the process!
!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world is getting pretty bad which is a shame because I shitpost there regularly :(
I had to block that community and I don’t block anything usually.
The mods allowed users to discuss how “naturally consensual” 14 year olds girls are and the conversation was highly upvoted.
It was the most blatant pedophilic conversation I had seen to date here and no one did anything about it.
Holy shit WTF
That’s a com well worth blocking. The problem i run into now is the people who crosspost those posts to coms I enjoy aren’t always people I want to block. But, maybe I should for my own sanity lol
I hear ya! I don’t block individuals because I do like pushing back here and there, but blocking that comm has been a great decision.
The one that I always remember being really bad is one of the comic ones. I feel like it is like twice a day that a “haha women bad!” comic gets posted.
I mostly block communities that don’t interest me (like tech stuff) or that I don’t understand (like the German language coms), but the shitpost community is an exception. I blocked it months ago when I realized it made me more stressed and annoyed than anything else. If I want to be stressed and annoyed, I’d check out the news. At least the news is relevant.
I was tempted to make a similar post. The other day there was a thread where guys where saying that it’s okay to look up a woman’s skirt when she goes up stairs, because “if she’s wearing a skirt, that implies consent.” Then when I replied saying that’s “rapist thinking,” people came in (probably deliberately) misinterpreting it as if I was calling OP a rapist. No, saying something someone wears is “giving consent” is literally how rapists think.
It immediately reminded me of all the guys that come on here and go, “I don’t see misogyny on Lemmy.” Meanwhile I got downvoted and I had to go back to edit my comment to make my point crystal clear. Even the more sane replies try to make it the woman’s problem to solve, like the guy saying we should kick a guy who’s staring up our skirts. As if we’d even be aware of it when they’re walking behind us?
Needless to say, it’s got me second-guessing wearing a skirt now. Goodness forbid I need to go up a flight of stairs while some dingdong like these guys happens to be behind me.
I learned in highschool that men see skirts as consent to view our underwear. Since then I’ve only worn skorts, or skirts with shorts underneath.
the guy at least got downvoted and you got upvoted so seems like the majority agreed with you
Follow the thread. See how many users jumped in to justify his comment and defend him? See how the votes work out there?
Yeah.
Seems like most of the shitty comments ended up downvoted too. I’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but at least there are people not agreeing with the chud.
Have you ever heard of the expression “death by a thousand cuts”?
I was there in the trenches on that day! And I tried to persuade a man to have empathy for his wife!
I just wear shorts under
Holy shit. How can anyone make that argument without feeling disgusting? Sounds like I make the right choice to rediscover Tumblr and mostly leave Lemmy
Yeah, that thread about looking up people’s skirts was just insanely disgusting, it made me ashamed to share a social network with those people. The Grande one was quite bad as well. It’s making me rethink Lemmy usage, maybe I should just quit social media altogether.
Naomi Wu (RealSexyCyborg over on the Nazi Bar Site before she got silenced) came up with a “downskirt camera” that took pictures of men taking upskirt photos, the idea being that women could wear one of those and start posting the pervs on social media for their loved ones to be disappointed in.
I miss her videos 🙁
The number of upvotes some of those replies got… Yeah, there’s definitely no misogyny on Lemmy! /s
Thanks for linking to the comments. I’ve got that user tagged now for future reference lol
It’s nice to know I can dismiss their comments immediately.
Recently had a man complain about the topics I post about. That by reposting stories about violence against women, I’m actually attacking men because while the news stories are true, I shouldn’t be highlighting them at the frequency I do. It makes men overall look like predators.
Women are always the problem for speaking up about problematic men while the men are always worth defending no matter what.
Hell, we have community members actively try to quiet other women in here for asking men to respect the rules here.
Oh I love when people chastise me for my content on a platform where anyone can post whatever they want. Thankfully, if they want to see more pro-men content, they can look in literally any comment section outside of this community.
By the way, are we talking about yesterday? That was a real special conversation. Like misogynist trolls need any more fucking allies.
I am indeed talking about yesterday. I notice when people are quick to silence women speaking up but never say anything to the men breaking the rules. There have been times I’ve been told the bickering in this comm is not pleasant, but the alternative is allowing men to force their sexist opinions in here with no one speaking out against it to show it’s not ok.
Silence is complicity imo.
I’ll try to call it out more like others have
9/10 posts here are the most pleasant conversations I’ve seen on this platform.
I appreciate the backup when they’re not.
People who choose their battles still have my respect, not everyone has the energy for negative interactions. I don’t mind silence as much as picking the wrong side.
Actually yeah, I’m all for people choosing their battles and that line in my comment is rigid. Silence in the face of the offense while trying to silence others is more about complicity than just silence.
Honestly, every other comment in that thread threw away their humanity to get one in on the rich girl with an ED. The excuse could be made that it was in a shitpost community but it’s clear the post wasn’t calling for ridicule. I’m really disappointed.
The rest of this comment is just ranting. Skip if you want.
How very cute, a pun about “Grande” meaning large while she’s withering in front of us from not eating. How brave, calling her scum for being rich and having an ED. Why yes, anorexia does make one look like a skeleton. Why yes, this is an appropriate time to exacerbate her fans and accuse her of stolen valor about her skin color. (/s)
I’m so tired. I grew up learning all about EDs in school and I feel like no one else was paying attention or we collectively forgot just how many friends killed themselves that way. This was a part of the 90’s and 00’s celebrity culture that I was hoping died there. I hope Ariana gets actual help before it kills her or hurts those impressionable enough to copy her. And I don’t even fucking like her.
I just wish anyone in her life would help her see she needs help, before it is too late. I’m not a fan, but I’m capable of feeling for her and what she must be going through for her ED to become so serious. She’s always struggled with it, but the last few years seem like they have been harder for her
She keeps pushing people away
I wonder how much of that is being stoked by her team. They all make money from her performing. It makes sense that she’s been allowed to fall this far into the disorder when she’s completely surrounded by “yes men”.
Supposedly she’s taking a break
“She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny,” the rep explains
Her reps are still framing this ED as “healthy” though.
Yeah this shit is abuse. The mentally well people around her, who are enabling this disease and lying about her health, are abusing her. And she, in turn, is abusing the young people who look up to her and trust what she and her marketing team say about health and beauty.
Anorexia is like covid, it’s a contagious disease. You can be suffering and killing other people at the same time. You have to take the vaccine or talk to a therapist while you’re well, so you don’t hurt others when you get sick.
On that “joke”, I saw someone on Mastodon “joke” that she’s now Ariane Venti.
But no, there’s no misogyny in the Fediverse.
🙄
I swear its always someone from .world or in a .world community saying these types of disgusting things when I see it. Probably because things like .ml are already blocked for me so I cute a lot of it out, but im considering just blocking .world too. Theres a lot of interesting content there, but damn,the negativity is so prevalent and unmoderated
So many users to block though
I honestly realized how bad it was lately. Is it getting worse? It seems like there are some genuinely wonderful people here but there are certain threads that make you go “wtf”?
I suspect we’re getting a lot of Redfugees who bring their baggage with them.
People are starting to be unable to browse old.reddit without an account.
I think it’s also that the voice of women is getting stronger on here and we’re facing more backlash.
Reddit has been banning a lot more users recently. I think you’re right.
It’s constant in lemmy and it’s scary. Misogyny is everywhere but parts of lemmy are cesspits for it. And unsurprisingly there’s been several manosphere sorts in this thread.
Fashion? No interest. Gardening? No interest. Feminism? RABID COMMENTING
It’ll always be constant on places like these because they get banned everywhere else. They jump to the next thing and then land somewhere, like here, where they can make their own instance or whatever or just make new accounts over and over. It’s the same with the tankies, zionists etc.
I don’t encounter it much but that’s probably bc Blåhaj has a good block list. I harden it a bit with my own custom blocks, though, using keywords.
This, it’s kinda incredible to learn about this given my fedi experience. But you’re probably right that it’s just a good blocklist so I don’t see it
The worst part is that if you look hard enough, misogyny is literally everywhere, in forms a lot of people don’t ever perceive at the time.
Living in a patriarchy will do that.
