Bild is without a doubt one of the worst, most gutter-tier tabloid rags in Germany. They’re right wing, racist, xenophobic slop, and Zionist too of course, but nevertheless this entire story is funny from all angles.

First of all it’s very satisfying to see a landlord get fucked over for once, after all the money they steal from their tenants. Secondly it’s a hilarious reversal of the russophobic “they are stealing the toilets” meme.

Finally, on some level you have to appreciate the dedication of these people to literally take even the door handles and then fuck off back to Ukraine. I’m sure the German government can write this one off as “aid to Ukraine”.

What’s another hundred thousand Euros after all the billions we’ve given that Nazi regime?

Anyway here’s the article translated [my commentary in brackets]:

“I had Germany’s most criminal tenants”

They even stole the heat pump and the toilet

Where Natalie Schell (46) had installed a fitted kitchen, only a cable now hangs from the wall. Although she works in real estate herself, she had never experienced anything like this with tenants before.

Wendeburg (Lower Saxony) – Natalie Schell (46) finds the missing heat pumps strange. The absence of the doorbell makes her suspicious. When she looks through the window, the shock hits: the kitchen is gone. “That’s when the penny finally dropped,” says the homeowner. She calls the police.

When the officers open the door, an uneasy feeling turns into sheer horror. Room by room, it becomes clear what must have happened here. The tenants didn’t simply pack their belongings and slip away secretly; they stripped the house bare. Toilets, sinks, fixtures, and door hardware are missing, too. Even the underfloor heating system was dismantled and stolen. “Practically everything was taken,” says Schell.

For Natalie Schell, the semi-detached house in Wendeburg (Lower Saxony) was an investment in her children’s future. She had the new building constructed as recently as 2024. She lives in one half herself, while she rented out the other in early 2025 to a Ukrainian family with six children. 140 square meters, five rooms, everything brand new. Rent including utilities: 1,895 euros.

[This is significantly above the national average for that square footage, don’t know why she’s acting like she’s doing an act of charity for them.]

Why did she decide to rent to the family? “I felt sorry for them because I knew how hard it is to find an apartment with so many children. I came to Germany from Kazakhstan with my parents myself in 1995.”

[Probably former Volga Germans who were resettled in Kazakhstan and then used the German “Right of Return” law to immigrate to Germany after USSR broke apart.]

Where the heat pump outdoor units used to stand, there is now a gaping void. The tenants also took the systems from Schell’s half with them.

Police investigate theft

In retrospect, Schell wonders how the incident could have gone unnoticed: “After all, there is only a wall separating us.” The 46-year-old travels frequently for work and is often away from home. There was regular activity on the property, with visitors coming and going to see her tenants. Consequently, none of her neighbors apparently found it remarkable to see boxes being carried or vehicles being loaded.

They even made off with the underfloor heating system. Schell: “If they’d had more time, they probably would have taken the click flooring, too.”

The police are now investigating a case of theft or embezzlement. Police spokesman Malte Jansen told BILD: “For one thing, we are provisionally estimating the financial loss to be in the mid-five-figure range; for another, the ‘effort’ involved—such as dismantling the heating system and the like—was also substantial.”

Insurance pays only 2,500 euros

Because she had taken out only a basic residential building insurance policy, the insurer is covering a mere 2,500 euros. Yet she had invested around 50,000 euros in the kitchen, plumbing, and building systems alone. “If I have to spend that amount again, my total costs will come to nearly 100,000 euros.”

[As a capitalist, you took a risk and made an investment expecting to leech free money from your tenants; the thing about taking risks is: sometimes you lose. Maybe don’t skimp on your insurance next time.]

She is particularly stunned by the images that acquaintances have since sent her. “People sent me screenshots from Instagram showing photos of my tenant and son laying tiles in Ukraine. As if nothing had happened. I am stunned.” The Peiner Allgemeine Zeitung was the first to report on the case.