Here are a few I’ve heard:
- “Identifying as demisexual is just a form of slut-shaming”
- “‘Demisexuality’ is just the human norm, most people don’t fuck someone they just met”
- “Asexual claims of discrimination are an insult to the Black Americans who struggled in the Civil Rights Movement”
- “Anyone who identifies as asexual is either an incel in denial or has a medical problem that needs to be cured”
Perhaps not the wildest thing, but easily one of the more shocking things I heard was when I was struggling a lot with certain aspects of my transition.
I’m colorblind, so things like clothes and makeup were, and still are, often big struggles.
A former friend, a cis girl who was around a lot by didn’t know on a personal level super well, offered to take me under her wing as it were, and help me with my transition.
But when push came to shove, and I actually needed help with things, she was often dismissive, if not outright hostile about it.
One day, when I was venting about struggling with makeup, and that my colorblindness never really felt like a disability until I started transitioning, she told me that “It didn’t matter” that I didn’t know anything about makeup, and that I shouldn’t want to because I, “would be a vain removed for caring so much about it” (I was hoping to learn some things about covering up beard shadow).
That was really the turning point in our relationship, and it never really recovered. She would say things all the time, and about how she was there to be a ‘big sister’ to me, but then tear me down when I actually tried to share anything about my transition.
Eventually things just petered out, and I let it go. But I still struggle to open up about my transition, as a result. Especially to cis women.
There should be no gay bars because they are a “special right”, and straight people don’t “need everyone in the room to have the same sexuality as themselves”.
The thing that made this take even more ridiculous is that I heard it from a westerner living in Japan. She talked about how she didn’t feel the need to take her Japanese boyfriend to “exclusively heterosexual spaces”. The fact that non-heterosexuals are under pressure to keep their sexuality private and thus find it much harder to find partners at work or outside queer spaces had never crossed her mind.
I have my own criticisms about gay bars (especially in Japan) and how they can be incredibly insular and often have very toxic gender norms, but her take was so dumb.
“You will never be a woman. You will always look like a man” - my former therapist 10 years ago
Like, look at me now, you sack of shit. I’m cute as fuck
therapist
Oh yeah, I had a transphobic therapist once too! Dropped him once he started parroting the litter box conspiracy theory, like it was real 🫠
Gatekeepers deserve the wall
“Ah yes, today as a mental health professional I will tell my patient that she is not valid and should always doubt herself.”
How compelling, get in the big pot of boiling water.
I question if anyone has ever been as wrong as your therapist was. You’re literally cute! <3
My therapist:
Canceling a renowned opera singer’s concert because he looks too gay while he’s in your capital city giving the country’s one of the most prestigious university’s conservatoire students a masterclass.
Completely ignoring how impressive that singer is, that just them showing how little they know about opera and theater performers. Have they seen most of the opera singers in costume???
Our current government is against every kind of art if the artist doesn’t suck up to them.
Also, the homophobia is just funny because the government let the cult members rape young boys in the cult dorms, and it somehow doesn’t affect the “family values” like the LGBT people do.
I’m a cis bi guy in college, with mostly straight male friends
People have straight up told me they assumed I must be some male-manipulator player who sleeps around a lot. Like they genuinely think people are bi to maximize the amount we get laid?
I told a friend I’ve only been with one person because I’m only interested in relationships and haven’t felt in the headspace for one, and he straight up thought I was kidding
Also, I’m pretty masculine, so a lot of people assume I must be “mostly straight,” with maybe a little attraction to femboys. And when I tell them I’m equally into women and gay men, they seem to think that means I probably won’t wanna settle down with one person. (imagine if people assumed this for anyone attracted to different ethnicities or hair colors??)
“Being trans is wrong because it hurts the person that’s trans since most people are mean to trans people”
This take is standard conservative garbage but at least it’s just, like, a version of the archetypical Conservative argument.
“Your life will be easier if you conform.” It is the negative peace which is the absence of tension, rather than the positive peace which is the presence of justice.
He followed it up with the zinger of “being trans is a sin because Christians won’t accept you and therefore you’ll find acceptance in the gay community and they’ll turn you gay, which is a sin.”
their logic
Do people understand the words that are coming out of their mouths.
Sometimes they very much do and the Sartre quote applies. Other times, no, they absolutely don’t.
One of my close friends growing up was extremely Christian and literally believed that gay people’s bodies were physiologically different than straight people’s. He refused to accept that his prostate could offer pleasure to him the same way it might a gay man. Basically, he hated gays so much that he wanted to physically separate himself from the idea of them as much as possible.
Which was great for me surrounded by that as a closeted teen.
Fun fact, he simultaneously believed that being gay was a choice. Not sure how you reconcile those two ideas but I imagine he wasn’t thinking too closely about it.
extremely Christian and literally believed that gay people’s bodies were physiologically different than straight people’s
he simultaneously believed that being gay was a choice.
That amount of brain twisting logic is on par with famers who hate socialism but they will complain if farm subsidies checks are late or decreased…
These people vote.
“‘They’ is never a singular pronoun” from someone who was a high school English teacher no less
It’s older than singular “you”!
Even before pronouns were in vogue, I’ve been using ‘they’ as a singular pronoun my entire life in colloquial language without even thinking about it. English teachers tend to be prescriptionist pedants though, obsessed more with grammar and syntax rules than with legibility and communication.
It’s like they think language is a magic spell that you have to use the right formula for
I once got told not to do use singular they for a character who was literally genderless and non-corporeal
The person in question was like “editors won’t accept that” and all I could think was “motherfucker, it’s sci-fi, that is far from the most ‘out there’ thing in the genre’s published works”
I’m writing a character now who is an arch fey and a patron to the MC. I use xe/xir as pronouns. It’s kinda fun. Xe got the MC in a horribly 1 sided pact and talks in nearly unreadable legalese.
"[…] Unless you’re prepared to articulate a revision of an expanded remunerative profile then your harmonious departure is the most fruitful course of action.”
“You can go fuck yourself.”
“I am in parallel concordance.”
I also got this one from my high school english teacher.
- Bisexuals are just greedy
- Had a lightly boozed up and slightly sunburnt cishet white man, finishing his lawn decide to ask me if I’m trans. I told him it’s not his business. And he began to talk about his kid (AFAB, and so obviously trans it hurts) questioning that, “but she got over it”.
Chuds literally believe your local drag queen is putting estrogen in the water supply to target little Timmy and turn him trans.
I absolutely hated tap water and drank nothing but cola as a child. The forced feminizers really need to learn more about children.
“‘man’ is gender neutral”
maybe a thousand years ago
It was. In old English man meant human, and wer (now the basis for the word werewolf) was the name for an adult male.
Just to further agree, it did in fact refer to all humans back then — the word for males used to be “wer” (survives in the word werewolf)
Hard to pick a highlight but this one always fucks my brain up and I’ve heard it a handful of times from different people
- “If you’ve had surgery why do you still disclose? You’re not trans any more right?”
- “If you’ve had surgery why do you still disclose? You’re not trans any more right?”
I would pay good money to see this person argue with the UK legal system, who recently declared a trans women as a sex offender because she didn’t tell one of her sexual partners she was trans.
“Trans people exist because of the estrogen they give chickens”
As we all know, there aren’t any trans vegans.
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“Asexuals are just looking for attention”
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“People are confusing children by teaching them about gay people”
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“People should only transition at 27”
Asexuals are just looking for attention
It’s almost the opposite actually.
People should only transition at 27
Why is this number so specific?
Something something “the brain fully matures at 27”
“People should only transition at 27”
Shit my window closed. Oh well, back into the closet I go.
“Asexuals are just looking for attention”
Is it that hard to understand that like, most people are asexual except for one gender, and asexuals are just asexual for the other genders too
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[paraphrasing] “people with non-cisheteronormative identities should not bring up their identities to people because it’s confusing”
