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Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth jokingly said any surge in takeout deliveries to the Pentagon — a phenomenon that has accurately predicted the start of major geopolitical events — could be him ordering pizza “just to throw everybody off.”

Asked about the “Pentagon Pizza Report,” an account on X that tracks activity at local pizza joints near the U.S. military hub, Hegseth said he was aware of the account.

“I’ve thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off,” he said Sunday on Fox News. “Some Friday night when you see a bunch of Dominos orders, it might just be me on an app, throwing the whole system off so we keep everybody off balance. We look at every indicator.”

  • NutWrench@lemmy.mlEnglish
    7·
    3 小时前

    A real military mobilization is about as easy to conceal as a sunrise. And you’re not going to fool anyone by ordering a few extra pizzas.

  • tomiant@piefed.socialEnglish
    104·
    19 小时前

    All I hear is that the pizza index works, he is too fucking dumb to do anything about it, and is clearly rattled about it. If he was serious he would have kept his mouth shut, which he can’t, and it’s all bullshit.

      • Lemminary@lemmy.worldEnglish
        111·
        11 小时前

        Tbf, they’re not sending anyone to where they haven’t been before. 🤷‍♂️

          • Lemminary@lemmy.worldEnglish
            71·
            9 小时前

            The Grindr server crashed on two separate Republican conventions and I’ve been seeing closeted republican men on Craigslist trolling for cock since the beginning of time. Do you need more evidence?

            • CXORA@aussie.zoneEnglish
              12·
              9 小时前

              Do you think the same people have anonymous hook ups are publicly attending gay bars?

              • jve@lemmy.worldEnglish
                8·
                9 小时前

                Do you think the same people have anonymous hook ups are publicly attending gay bars?

                Tell me you’ve never been to a bar without telling me.

  • MrMcGasion@lemmy.worldEnglish
    571·
    21 小时前

    “Thought about” and “might just” are two phrases middle aged white guys use when we want to talk big and then never follow through. I’d be shocked if he puts in one “fake” order, and highly doubt he’ll be able to be consistent enough to throw off the tracker.

    • tomiant@piefed.socialEnglish
      7·
      19 小时前

      Right. He’s too fucking dumb to pull off even random pizza orders. In any case, everyone knows that to really throw people off the scent you tell them about your plans, right? What a fucking muppet.

  • givesomefucks@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    22 小时前

    We look at every indicator.

    After it’s become widespread international news meaning our allies and enemies have known for at least a decade…

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        16 小时前

        The 90s needed actual spooks casing out pizza places… That was a real thing, Russians casing take out joints in DC, even before pizza was a big deal.

        But it was easier just to keep an eye on the parking lots and how many lights stayed on overnight.

        For at least the last decade, there have been electronic means of surveillance allowing every country who gives a shit to monitor 24/7. Which sounds stupid, but that monitoring is essentially free and just one of 100s if not thousands of individual flags.

        Pizza flag may go off a lot, but if x, y, and z are all also happening…

        Then everyone knows something is gonna happen.

  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.worldEnglish
    23·
    22 小时前

    Okay, fuck, he got me, that’s really funny. Good job. Now please submit to The Hague, confess everything, and spend the rest of your life in prison.

    • tomiant@piefed.socialEnglish
      8·
      19 小时前

      A decade ago I was like, “FOX hosts are vile, disgusting, fucking goblins, but at least they’re not in government”.

      I refuse to accept this is the reality I exist in.

  • ilinamorato@lemmy.worldEnglish
    19·
    22 小时前

    And what is he going to do with all of those “diversion” pizzas?

    Seems like that could be a good way to feed the hungry in DC: order a large and semirandom number of pizzas to the Pentagon every night, then distribute them to homeless shelters; on nights when you’re planning or executing ops, just add to the order enough for your operation and pull them off of the pile before you redirect the rest to the shelters.

    But the party of “lol your poor git gud” wouldn’t dream of such a thing. More likely they’ll toss them in the dumpster.

    • XeroxCool@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      19 小时前

      Americans shouldn’t starve in such a wealthy nation, but there’s just not enough money here. Do not. Touch. The defense war budget. Such a shame, homeless veterans and all that

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        18 小时前

        Loved the joke, and it gives me an idea that might actually make this work: rather than sending it to a random homeless shelter every day, send it to a veteran’s shelter.

    • tomiant@piefed.socialEnglish
      2·
      19 小时前

      That would do nothing to block the alleged information leak. You’d simply count the number of pizzas reaching homeless shelters instead, and if there’s a lower than normal amount, you know we’re gonna invade Iran. I mean, know it even harder.

      • XeroxCool@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        16 小时前

        It’s not to track via homeless shelters, the joke is that he’s willing to waste food as Americans face food concerns.

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        18 小时前

        If you pull some random amount off the stack every day and store it to pass along on the next day, and build up a rolling reserve before pulling from that reserve for invasion day, you could hide that tell pretty effectively.

        • tomiant@piefed.socialEnglish
          2·
          12 小时前

          This is precisely how it should be done and how it would never be done because of their abject incompetence, the absurdity of the whole idea aside. :)

  • daannii@lemmy.worldEnglish
    91·
    20 小时前

    Aren’t all the pedos using “pizza” as covert code for child pornography ?

  • crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    9·
    21 小时前

    Pretty sure he said this exact thing last year when the Pizza Index was correct. Is this a cute little gem he just has on standby?