This is describing email, not a chat client. If I am chatting with you I expect real time engagement, otherwise I would send an email.
I have written in a previous job messages, but it usually went like this:
Hello, [Name]! Hope you’re not too busy! I have questions regarding [whatever the fuck it was on about]
Mostly because I hate getting a message and it is just a wall of text, the greeting allows for a slight breathing room and a chance to spot a typo.
But I never left the other hanging, more than a minute to type the needed thing up. If it was taking longer, I would just send it in chunks.
I skip all formality and just say what’s needed.
That’s fine. To each their own.
Coworker: Hi
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Hello
Coworker: So
[Several seconds pass]
Coworker: What’s up with that file from yesterday?
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Which file
[No response for literally 10 minutes]
Coworker: The one we sent to client B
Me: [Rather than keep trying to extract information, search through history and find file which was sent to client B yesterday, find nothing obviously wrong with it, and it was nothing to do with me anyway]
Me: [Sends link to file] You mean this one?
[5 minutes pass]
Coworker: NM I figured it out. Thanks!
My other favourite is the coworker who does the same thing but instead of saying hey types “Pssst” and if you don’t respond within about 5 seconds they start sending GIFS of people knocking on doors and stuff.
If anyone says hi to me I literally just ignore them until they say something actionable.
It’s great because if they ever complain about it I can just say, oh I was busy so didn’t immediately follow up and they never ever specified what they wanted.
I’ve thankfully never experienced that last one, but that is heinous. I would actually engage to tell them not to do that.
The company I work for has a general guideline/policy to “don’t ask to ask.” I thankfully rarely experience this.
Yeah, really doesn’t make sense when everyone is working for the same company. You are literally being paid for your time, when answering that question.
Can I ask you a question?
You get one a day, try again tomorrow
Apparently.
Calls you immediately despite your status being “in call”
I get this from colleagues in a specific areZA of the world.
I don’t know, can you?
I will obviously start by saying Hi, but I will also just say what I’m contacting them about in the first message.
yeah, i’d like to see us abolish email and turn things into slightly long IM’s.
I’ve been struggling for years to condense several thoughts into a single IM, not to blow up the recipient’s attention.
My experience has been doing it pretty much entirely through work chat IM. But also working in animation the needs are usually pretty simple like “this scene is locked by you, can you unlock it for me?” Or inquiring about background updates or something. So it’s fairly easily to just get to the point.
I got in trouble at work for being “unavailable” for 3 days while my coworkers were working on something important without me because I never responded to the one word message “Hey”.
I was 100% WFH, for a company in California, long before Covid.
We rented an oceanfront condo for a week from a friend, it was a good deal (they were unbooked so they figured a discount for a known user is better the no booking)
I went down there and worked from the condo from 8-6. Solid internet, attended all meetings. My boss got a case of the ass that I was “taking a vacation” and started trying to hop into support calls before I could so he could write me up for taking a vacation without requesting it.
I literally hit every support message within 30 seconds, he spent his whole day trying to do my job for me. By the end of the day, he had the gall to say I wasn’t answering messages quickly enough. I demanded he show me what message he was talking about. Over a whole day of work, there was one message that went unanswered for 45 seconds because I was already working with two separate people. I sent him my chat logs of me working with the other people, and he bitched that I didn’t tell them to wait for 45 seconds.
When I quit, he said, “I have to say I didn’t see it coming, you were always so dedicated, I’m really sorry to see you go, no chance that I could change your mind? Is it salary?” “nope, I was summoned from some people I used to work for, and they’re ready for me”
I hate how dysfunctional so many people are on communication and remote work.
If I’m feeling nice, I reply to those with " please lead with your question"
If not, I don’t reply.
My god it’s been annoying people for 16 years and we still haven’t come up with a solution. As a species we are doomed. That’s why the aliens haven’t contacted us, would be too annoying.
Hey.
LMAO. I thought I was the only one quietly enraged by this…
Proper format:
Hola,
X is Y and we need Z. Did you fuck with the server?
…new server, who dis??
Luke, I am your father.
I’ve toyed with this a few ways, and my favorite response is waiting 4 hours and replying “hi!” That might mean the next day. Then when they ask the question, wait a couple more hours at least to reply. They’ve set the pace for the conversation this way, and it’s going to be glacial. (Folks who have no urgency get no urgency)
If they ask the right way, I am pretty quick. (Polite people get polite responses)
If it’s something that can wait 20 minutes, I typically wait 20 minutes. (I am a busy person) (Protip: this makes bosses and coworkers think you’re not just fucking around all day, and they respect you more)
Train people using rules, even if they are unspoken, be consistent and it’ll work.
Nah, hi back just before you knock off. As in send hi, log out, go home.
