“Let’s see, 500 grams quicksilver, 225 grams mercury, 20 grams ground cinnabar, and 40 grams fresh mashed castor beans. This depression potion better work!”
(Mercury is difficult to vomit out in large quantities because it’s quite heavy. No backsies on this potion)
Quicksilver is the same as mercury though
“Just get therapy? Why don’t I strap on my therapy helmet, and squeeze down into a therapy cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO THERAPYLAND, WHERE THERAPISTS GROW ON THERAPIES?!!!”
Me: “Can I get a referral to a therapist?”
GP: “Uh huh… so, I’m going to need you to take a drug test.”
Oh wow, I’ve been meaning to look up the comment I wrote last time this was posted. And here’s a great opportunity to do so! Time to make yet another attempt…
All right, either:
- try to decide what kind of therapist is needed (difficult)
- figure out what kind of therapy/therapists are covered by insurance (time-consuming and stressful, sometimes impossible)
- provide a bunch of private information (time-consuming, difficult, and stressful)
- look through a list of relevant therapists nearby (usually easy)
- try to identify one that you might relate to or at least be able to deal with (very difficult, sometimes impossible)
- call them up one at a time to see if they’re really accepting new patients (time-consuming and stressful)
- try to find a regular time that works in your schedule for the new therapist and for other obligations (difficult)
- again provide a bunch of private information (time-consuming, difficult, and stressful)
- go meet with the therapist. try to get along with them because if you don’t it’s your fault and you have to start all over (difficulty varies, sometimes impossible)
- do all this while dealing with whatever problem you need therapy for (difficulty varies, sometimes impossible)
Or:
- access Paracelsus: https://paracelsus-project.org/ (easy)
- translate: https://translate.google.com/ (easy)
- distill potions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrrbGRIOhCw (easy)
I know the wording’s a meme, but the hell with whoever made the original post.
Seriously. I looked into it awhile back for something. My insurance’s page was complete garbage. Their provider network is completely useless. Every therapist on there either isn’t actually taking new patients, doesn’t accept the insurance, or links to a dead site.
You should be able to sue your insurance company $100 for every ghost listing they have in their provider networks.
I met my partner 18 years ago. She started therapy regularly after our first five years together. She started to see some patterns in her behaviour, especially toward me, that she wanted to work on. Since then, she has decided she wants to become a therapist.
On the other hand, my journey started when I tried to access counselling 25 years ago. My GP tried to put me on an antidepressant immediately. I said no. Since meeting my partner and her starting her therapeutic journey, she has tried for a long time to get me into seeing a therapist. It took almost 15 years, but I started about a month ago.
Now, this first therapist has not been mind-blowing in any way. No breakthroughs, no revelations. Really, I don’t think we’re vibing. But, still, being able to say aloud some of the things that I hide from everyone else is, in and of itself, therapeutic.
The list, above, were my stumbling blocks, too. They still are. Add to the list that I’m an underemployed, visible minority, a father-of-two in a high-stress career, and that I refuse to “adjust [blithely] to a profoundly sick society.” I’d rather continue to feel my isolation and my detachment than walk into Walmart whistling and smiling at my good fortune.
All this to say (TL;DR) therapy comes from your own commitment to honest self-examination. Guided, surely, but at least attempted. It won’t be found in a pill, potion, or portent. I hope to find a therapist who can challenge me to do better.
