I need some third-party opinions. I’m a Swiss guy currently in Cambodia. I came here on holiday and met a girl at a restaurant in Siem Reap. We talked for a bit and she offered to show me around the area. We hung out together for a week, during which we also hooked up. It was a great week. Then she invited me to stay with her at her family’s house. I accepted because I thought, why not? I’ve been here for three weeks now and had my visa extended by 30 days. I work remotely, so I’m able to support myself financially. My parents hate me being here because they think I’m being taken advantage of financially. For example, they were upset when I told them I bought some things for the house to make my stay more comfortable. Personally, I don’t feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
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If she took you to her family’s home, that means they expect you to marry her.
Be realistic with yourself about what your stay at the family home implies to them. I don’t mean that as a conclusion one way or the other. Tell them directly that this is a temporary situation, if that is what it is to you.
And like another said, contraception unless you actually want a baby.
Yeah if it’s just a hook up, you shouldn’t have gone to her family’s house. It’s a big deal. Asian countries are very conservative like that. And they’re likely hoping you’ll sweep her off her feet and take her to your country for a better life. So, sorry to say, but if anything you’re taking advantage of them and their situation.
This exact same thing happened to a friend of mine when he visited Thailand. Met this girl through acquaintances, they got to know each other very well, etc… Be warned: They’re happily married and living together 10 years later.
Are they forcing you to pay for stuff beyond reasonable needs you may have during your stay? (Food, bottled water, some hygiene products)
What are your plans and expectations? How long do you want to stay? Do you want it to be a long-term relationship? Do you want to get married to her, have kids? If not, do you want to visit regularly? Are you willing/not willing to substantially support her/the family? etc.
As this is an unusual situation (which isn’t a value judgment), I think it’s important to really think these things through, and then communicate them openly. But also understand that many cultures (including Cambodian, I think) tend to prefer subtle hints over direct communication, so in order to really understand her expectations, it might be helpful to get opinions by some Cambodian third party (I’m sure there’s some English-language Cambodian forum you can turn to for that).stay with her at her family’s house. I accepted
Please clarify the facts: was it a visit, like half a day, or do you stay there for some weeks now?
I think there is some chance that you are married now :)
Congrats on your nuptials!
Seriously, though, I don’t think you’re necessarily being taken advantage of. If they didn’t ask you for anything you’ve given them, then I don’t think you need to worry. Just don’t do anything you wouldn’t do for any other girlfriend and you’ll be fine.
Asian countries are pretty conservative. If she’s introduced you to her family, and isn’t hiding you, then that probably means she’s happy and sees a future with you. Maybe it’s because she sees you as a good catch. Maybe it’s because she’s head over heels in love with you. Whatever the reason, whether or not that future comes about is up to you guys, but if it does and you end up together on a long term basis, this will make a fun story to tell people. Just take it day by day and enjoy yourself. Don’t think too much about the future. Don’t let anxiety or doubts cloud your feelings for her.
Cause at the end of the day, while this could turn out to be a cautionary tale, it could just as easily turn out to be the rest of your life.
I don’t think you’re being taken advantage of financially. I imagine you’ve spent less money than any option for three weeks of sleeping accommodations in Switzerland aside from living with your parents, for example.
I do think there’s a significant chance there’s a mismatch in expectations though. If you intend this to be short-term, it would be cruel to let her think something else. As others have mentioned, there’s a risk she’s trying to get pregnant to incentivize you to stay or financially support her; you don’t know her well enough to say she wouldn’t do that.
As long as you have both of those concerns addressed, it sounds like a good time for all involved.
are any of these purchases wildly beyond what you might have bought to make a hostel stay more comfortable, like food/bedding/clothes/entertainment?
without more information/any red flags, it sounds like your parents are just being overly protective/suspicious.
I wouldn’t say so if they weren’t begging for money. Sounds like it’s time to be a passport bro
Any “mistake” you make financially is your own choice.
But for what it’s worth, if this person likes you for real, you don’t deserve it. Your skepticism and classism is ridiculous.
Seems like you intentionally chose to not disclose what you bought for them, which leads me to believe it is likely your parents are right.
