Huh. My family used to propagate pineapple like wild. (I think my parents got up to almost 20 fruiting plants until they cleared out a bunch this spring.) We’d just cut the tops off, including a bit of fruit and let just the bottom of the fruit soak in water to make roots. Wonder if their method works better.

Also, I too am judgment proof.

YOU WOULDN’T
STEAL
A PINEAPPLE