Welcome to the EFK, the Electronic Fleshlight Kiosk.
Your first trial usage is free *
With a low monthly subscription of just $60, we can provide you with a pleasant experience while you place your donation.
With a premium subscription of $120 a month, we can ensure the kiosk is sanitized and lubricated for your safety.
With a monthly child support payment, we can inform you of how many children you have fathered.
- Please watch this 10 minute advertisement on Viagra before proceeding…
Is there a cheaper more unpleasant option that I can afford or is the unpleasant version more expensive because it is niche?
We do still offer Free Circumcision Sundays *
- Business Hours: Monday through Saturday, 9am to 5pm. Closed on Sundays, except for confessionals.
Religious is a bit out of my comfort zone. Do you have an uncomfortable secular option?
They do but it’s a complete rip off.
Are they available for purchase?
A friend of mine would be interested too.
DDG is kinda hinting on a DIY solution. I am… conflicted.
Yeah, I’ll pass on the Ultra Rapid Extractor, I think.
I don’t think I want the ultra rapid extraction.
TBF, if your hand touches your own erection, that’s clearly gay, so obviously someone had to invent a fuckable kiosk so they don’t have to swap sexualities when they’re getting IVF.
(/s)
Oh, I’d have thought your mom, but ok
