Really captures how I feel about companies that use LGBT support to advertise their products.
They’d have ads condemning it if it was profitable.
The thing you have to understand is companies don’t have morality. They only have three purposes: get the money, get the money, and get the money. Despite legislation to the contrary, companies are not people and you probably shouldn’t expect them to act like people.
(I just consider it a win if they choose to do something, anything, moral.)
But, since they will almost always put money first, what they are is a good barometer for society, and much more accurate read on society than polls.
50 years ago, hell, even 30 years ago, you would never have caught them dead putting a rainbow on their packaging and saying they ‘support LGBTQA+’, because popular societal sentiment would have crucified them and they would have lost money.
Today, these same corporations feel safe slapping rainbow flags on everything. That means the views of society are changing as well.
“Deviation from the norm will be punished, unless it is exploitable.”
This is clearly a deepfake. A real corporation would never risk a PR disaster by suggesting that people should fight for more rights.
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tbqh I kinda like seeing LGBT iconography in public so I’ll take the pandering instead of joining conservatives in dunking on it in these cases
I’ll concede that I wish plenty of those companies would do more, though.
It pisses conservatives off the more LGBTQ is seen supported in public, so that’s a bonus.
Imagine basing your political ideology on whatever pisses people off.
And then you wonder why people don’t like you.
i don’t have a problem with the branding honestly.
Companies doing it is rather funny, and doesn’t ultimately do much. But the fact that they’re doing it is still rather interesting.
Aperture science would probably discover what brain patterns, hormones, and molecular alignments determine the sexuality and gender identification of a person and then start experimenting on people to create new sexualities and genders.
And when the boss finds out about that ground-breaking research he’ll probably want to make an even better gay bomb with it.
And then make a genderswap gun, complete with tests for it and a rogue AI
We’re just another demographic for them to study and experiment on.
And now I wonder how brutal an Aperture Science dildo test would be. 😵💫
"Cave Johnson here. I have bad news, and I have good news. The bad news is that the AI we developed for our melee sentry turret concept developed a targeting error due to misinterpreting the verbal input ‘aim for center mass’. We think it misheard the last word. It only ever delivered nonfatal injuries to the test subjects rectal regions.
The good news is that one of our interns replaced the knife with a dildo and stationed one in his supervisor’s office along with a scathing resignation letter. The supervisor reported faster and more intense prostatic stimulation than any sex toy currently on the market - apparently this guy’s a connoisseur! HA!
The turrets have all been refitted with different sizes and shapes of dildos, and tight little studded leather vests. Testing will resume tomorrow morning: we’re rebranding and exploring its potential for the sex toy industry.
Also find that intern, we need to get him back as a paid employee - that type of innovative thinking shouldn’t go to waste!"
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The lube was a lie
Segmentation*
We’re seeing a 17% lift this quarter, the shareholders will be pleased and our CEO should be able to get his 3rd yacht. 👌
That was a joke, haha, fat chance.
… Anyway, this cake is great! It’s so delicious and moist.
Cue Republican AstroTurf movement to force Aperture to congratulate heterosexuals
This is my favorite take on that. Great cosplay of Glados.
So, Target?
Was I supposed to read this in JK Simmons voice? Because i did
I read everything in JK Simmons voice.
