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gmtom@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

The second matchup of the tournament

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The second matchup of the tournament

lemmy.world

gmtom@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas

    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Gorillas will tear off your face and testicles AFAIK. Just imagine the depraved shit a human would do to you assuming they could get away with it without repercussion.

      They wouldn’t hesitate to fuck you up.

      • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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        1 year ago

        Gorillas are WAY more chill than chimpanzees. Just dint make eye contact and be respectful to the gorilla and it will leave you alone. They know that they are capable of fucking you up, and they know you know.

    • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Especially since it’s a single wolf. I don’t think I’d choose a pack over the others.

    • Atin@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Also, wolves are crap at climbing trees.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    1 year ago

    I choose the wolf. I already have 2 inside me, they’ll just see me as another member of the pack.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      sounds kinda gay ngl

    • Noodle07@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      AROOOOO

      • cmbabul@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Nixon?

    • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Depends if you’ve been feeding them well.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      1 year ago

      Three Wolf Interior Moon?

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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        1 year ago

        I definitely would like more 3 wolf moon shirts to show on the outside what’s going on inside.

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      That third one is also gay

  • Allonzee@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Does this forest get smaller over the course of the night like a hunger games arena?

    • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Animal royale

      • GluWu@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        We should do the opposite of Noah’s arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.

        • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Do we all get prep time. And can animals who are capable of making them get tools, or do we have to make tools ourselves

    • Skeezix@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      He didnt say forest. He said Forrest, as in Gump. Maybe Forrest gets smaller as he gets old.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      so is this like a storm in a battle royale where once it collapse i win? Except instead of winning, i’m no longer lost?

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Wolf. Wolves are naturally shy of humans, and while gorillas are also, gorillas are also much bigger and stronger. If one decides it’s mad at you it will pull your limbs off. Or worse. A wolf will try to rip you apart and tear your throat out if it’s mad at you, but since it’s in a different weight class you might actually stand a chance if you curl up in the fetal position or whack it in the face with a rock.

    • 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it
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      1 year ago

      If Trading Places taught us anything, a gorilla may also fall in love with you

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.

    Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.

    • Sylvartas@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim

      • sparkle@lemm.ee
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        for some reason i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas

        it makes me wonder how aggressive early australopithecus was compared. apparently they did a lot of cannibalism so probably at least slightly more than non-australopithecus humans. they probably weren’t even close to as aggressive as chimpanzees considering how significantly weaker they were though

    • johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Wolves are also a lot more common, though.

      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Thanks Obama.

    • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Or they happen in Africa so we don’t usually hear about them.

    • Carl@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      I like big apes.

  • frickineh@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I’m not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I’m pretty convinced that I’ll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it’s friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.

    • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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      1 year ago

      You’re not completely wrong, but if safety is your concern then you should really be operating under the assumption that the animal will attack you. In that case you’ve chosen a 200 kg gorilla who can climb over a 40 kg wolf who can’t. Bears are actually the heavier of the three depending on race and gender, and some of them can climb while others cannot.

      • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Grizzlies can’t climb but if they want to get to you, they’ll just dig out the tree you’re on.

        • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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          For real, but Grizzlies are the second worst outcome you could end up with in the bear category.

          • sYnoxjj@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            With the first one being ice bears?

            • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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              1 year ago

              If you encounter a black bear, make yourself big and threatening. If attacked, fight back.

              If you encounter a brown bear, stay facing it but avoid eye contact and back away slowly. If attacked, play dead.

              If you encounter a polar bear, pray for a quick death.

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    I’m going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      Also, you can just climb a tree, it is a forest after all

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        Yeah. Wolves suck at climbing trees.

  • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    A single wolf is just a big dog. A gorilla can pick you up and tear you in half.

    • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      A big dog is fucking scary if it’s not trained, and doesn’t want snuggles.

      • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, I almost got torn to shreds by a rottweiler. I’d still take the wolf over a gorilla.

      • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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        What kind of wolf doesn’t want snuggles?

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be “Lions” and “Tigers”

    • Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Lions, Tigers, and Bears, no man!

  • Starkstruck@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      We tamed them once, we can do it again!

      • no_comment@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

    • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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      1 year ago

      Why would you want it to leave you alone?

      • Starkstruck@lemmy.world
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        So it doesn’t feel threatened and try attacking me. I thought that was fairly obvious.

        • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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          It’s a tournament for who you want to have in the forest alone. I just wait for woman coming in and sweeping the floor

  • Margot Robbie@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    RIP Harambe. 😭

  • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    A gorilla with a wolf tied to it’s back, riding a bear.

    • phorq@lemmy.ml
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      Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?

      • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
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        It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the forest.

    • RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works
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      Apparently I’m trapped in Australia, which is the only plausible explanation for that type of abomination

  • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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    1 year ago

    Wolf for sure, you can bribe a wolf a lot easier than a gorilla, you move in a way that gorilla doesn’t like and you dead.

  • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Well Todd, it looks like Wolf might be the clear winner in today’s matchup but what I think spectators are really want to know is how the next round will fare.

  • KuraiWolfGaming@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    AWOO gimme the wolf

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      found the pawb social user

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