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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 年前

O.J. Simpson Allowed To Remain Living After Coffin Doesn’t Fit

www.theonion.com

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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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O.J. Simpson Allowed To Remain Living After Coffin Doesn’t Fit

www.theonion.com

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 年前
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19
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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
LAS VEGAS—With onlookers gasping as the former football star made a big show of being too big for the casket, O.J. Simpson was reportedly allowed to remain alive Thursday after his coffin didn’t fit. “If the coffin doesn’t fit, you must let him live a bit.” said O.J. eulogizer Tommie Lochran, who advocated for Simpson…
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  • breakingcups@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    They had this one ready to go, huh?

    • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      It’s pretty good, hats off to The Onion

    • BossDj@lemm.ee
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      1 年前

      Makes me morbidly wonder if they’re sitting on a folder full of celebrity death articles.

      • pastel_de_airfryer@lemmy.eco.br
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        1 年前

        That’s actually standard practice in journalism

        • BossDj@lemm.ee
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          1 年前

          It makes sense for one of notification or even praise and remembrance.

          But imagining a folder of jokes about celebrity death send a bit darker.

          • NickwithaC@lemmy.world
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            1 年前

            Let me introduce you to the dark side of The Onion.

            • keegomatic@lemmy.world
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              1 年前

              Aw man. That made me switching between tearing up and laughing so many times. What a great one.

      • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        All news channels do

  • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    This is how I learned he died. Appropriate.

    • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Didn’t you read the article? The. Coffin don’t fit!

    • NickwithaC@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      At least you didn’t learn it from the fucking memes like I did.

      • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 年前

        I dunno, memes are an alright way to find out. I took great pleasure in the Henry Kissinger memes, myself

  • smokin_shinobi@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    Body probably still warm and they are roasting him already. Couldn’t happen to a nicer murderer.

    • hemmes@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Well don’t go losing your head over it

    • body_by_make@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 年前

      OJ’s wife’s killer is finally dead

  • bfg9k@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    Rest in Piss.

    Truly one of the great failings of Justice.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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      1 年前

      It sure was, when they let a literal Nazi cop on the force to eventually fuck up the legitimacy of the case, and who the hell knows what else… Something tells me OJ wasn’t the only killer in that courtroom.

    • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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      1 年前

      “Cops framed a guilty man.”

    • thisbenzingring
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      1 年前

      And a good example for not excusing bad behavior just because someone is a star athlete

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