Every now and then I see that I exist in a place where the work that I do doesn’t even make the business money. It actually is a net negative to the profits of the business and yet it persists, but for some reason the job is even more torturous than when I was exploited for profit. At least in those jobs the motivation was not only clear but largely spelled out for me and solidarity with coworkers was easy as fuck cos well bossman wanted us to make him more money and pay us nothing and we didn’t like that.

Now im so lost in the corporate hellscape that I don’t even see the purpose of any of the toil here. We are asked to grind for a system that nobody wants, benefits nothing and exists only as a cost to the business. Every person I work with is on another planet and constantly vying to backstab or fight over scraps of “ownership” to build a feifdom to justify themselves and fuck everyone else.

We dont make anything the job is pointing fingers and several layers of management too afraid or incompetent to make a single decision so the workflow is a circle jerk of ass kissing until the business realises we dont do anything. I can’t leave because thats almost every corporate job is floundering to pretend there is any value in the work I do insofar that pure performance is whats needed to get by. People only care about these things

• I have to look stressed but be amicable
• work overtime and pretend im not bothered
• “deliver value” which roughly translates to doing presentations and talk shit 24/7
• Fake enthusiasm for a fake product no one uses
• occasionally do sound bytes

But like what is the point? Why do the capitalists preserve so much of this type of job? Is this meant to be the promised land for those who are more directly exploited? I actually find myself more exhausted and miserable than when I was doing gruntwork for minimum wage because at least the people i worked with weren’t satan incarnate and we all had fun messing about the second boss man wasnt looking. This doesnt happen here everyone is out to fuck you for some fake approval for fake things. Like at times its just to appeal to the ego of some random ass line manager and for some reason theyre allowed to use the space for their torture fetish. And thats it thats all I do is take being constantly demeaned and humiliated and thats what im paid for.

You could say its for control but control of what? Controlling workers who produce nothing? Keep the burgeoning class of PMC wankers appeased?

And the followup is how do i survive, I figured its some balance between faking value and taking the piss but I haven’t quite figured it out cos on the ground i just see a minority of people actually trying to hold anything together and then a bigger group of bullies who make their life hard for fun.

I think the funniest part is I could actually be useful to the business in some way but thats quite literally forbidden. Like I can’t even give the capitalists what they want so I can have at least a crumb of meaning to what I work on. No it HAS to be devoid of purpose because its not even about making money anymore its about suffering for nothing at all.

I think honestly my autism is why I cant handle places like this. In theory all I need to do is lie but I cant lie and i cant misrepresent facts so i just end up shooting myself in the foot by saying exactly what im thinking. At least in my shit jobs i didnt have to really fake anything i was just me but doing crap work for crap pay.

Also the irony isnt lost on me that these are considered the “real jobs” while toiling for actual profits is considered a fake job done by the poors. Real is when we spend 3 days a week debating over what tickets should go on the board that we then pretend to complete