• @GreenMario@lemm.ee
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    641 year ago

    I sacrifice C:\Windows\System32 to you, old noodly one! 🗑️ Bless me with the computing power to pwn my enemies in CS2, see them driven before me on Twitch, and hear the Lamentations of their simps.

    • @shalafi@lemmy.world
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      91 year ago

      I’m an ordained minister in The Church of the FSM and I approve this liturgy. I should seriously ask Bobby if this can make it into official church doctrine.

  • @kibiz0r@lemmy.world
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    511 year ago

    There will never be anything more illustrative of the limits of human intellect than the fact that a master logician famously argued that:

    I ought to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that rewards doing XYZ

    …and did not immediately think:

    I ought not to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that punishes doing XYZ

  • benji
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    331 year ago

    The popemobile has bulletproof glass. If the Goddamn POPE doesn’t believe, why should anyone else?

        • @Sordid@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          I can’t think of an application where a nail is better. Sure, sometimes a nail will do and there’s no need to use a screw, but that doesn’t make the nail better, just cheaper.

          • @chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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            101 year ago

            For framing a house a nail is absolutely better. As the house settles, wood shrinks, and the frame flexes in storms or quakes the nails allow the wood to move instead of causing things to warp and break.

          • Flying Squid
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            71 year ago

            Anywhere that you need greater shear or flexibility, nails are preferable.

      • @LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though…

        Oh so this cartoon depicts a prophet who helped someone upgrade to a more meaningful object of worship.

      • @CanadaPlus
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        1 year ago

        Nails are cheaper, and can be faster to put it. That’s why they’re still a thing.

        Edit: Maybe? Apparently their ability to slip a bit is also useful in construction.

  • @Coasting0942@reddthat.com
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    281 year ago

    I don’t need to. I KNOW the emperor of mankind will launch a glorious crusade to purge the Xenos and claim humanity’s birthright among the stars. Which means we need to triple our science funding yesterday if we’re going to have black hole cannons.

    • @InputZero@lemmy.ml
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      91 year ago

      Your faith is lacking slag. The God Emperor of All Mankind is already here leading Mankind to glory over the xenos and has been for millennia. He has chosen to not reveal himself to us yet. Accelerating our approach to the age of strife is blasphemy. What if we build the black hole cannons too early and they’ve degraded too much when the Adeptus Mechanicus excavate them. Have faith in the God Emperor’s plan slag and rejoice in your duty.

      (Warhammer 40k for anyone who’s going wtf)

        • @InputZero@lemmy.ml
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          11 year ago

          Huh, I was unaware of this church. I hope you realize that we were role playing characters from a table top board game gone super franchise titled Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. As far as I’m aware, the Warhammer franchise is not associated in any way with the Columbus, Ohio Christian Xenos Church. That’s why I included terms like Adeptus Mechanics which is pulled directly from the franchise.

          • ɔiƚoxɘup
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            11 year ago

            Oh yeah I know. It’s a humorous coincidence, at least to me. Warhammer seems pretty cool. I don’t have the bandwidth or storage space, money, or time to really get into it.

            I did try eisenhorn unlimited. Couldn’t get into it.

  • Captain Aggravated
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    241 year ago

    I’m personally a devotee of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. May her holy hooves never be shod.

  • @shalafi@lemmy.world
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    241 year ago

    I’m ordained in the Church of the FSM and got my fiancé’s buddy ordained so he could marry us week after next. Florida say’s it’s all good!

  • R0cket_M00se
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    211 year ago

    “Cause! I’m not going to potentially spend my entire life following the specific rituals and sacrifices required of a religion. What if it doesn’t exist? Then I’ve wasted. My… Oh… Shit.”

    Gotta Uno reverse card Pascals wager on 'em.

  • Sibbo
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    181 year ago

    I’m usually worshipping Rigatoni instead, spaghetti are just too basic for me. Sometimes also Fusilli.

    I believe the pasta heaven is very much like the old Greek and Roman gods: more of a large family than just a single lonely individual.

  • @MasterNerd@lemm.ee
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    161 year ago

    Because what if the lasagna monster is the real one and really hates people worshipping the spaghetti monster and subjects anyone who worships it to eternal damnation?