Don’t know how to continue.

Shaved by the Vault Underground

a parody of

Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

i shaved myself today
to see my face is real
i focus on the face
deep horror i now feel

the blade’s dripping red
the old familiar sting
try keep a steady hand
but MABL i exceed

what have i become
my scabby friend
every drop i’ve got
down the drain anyway

    • kakafarmOP
      3·
      6 days ago

      I won’t, because if I did it would have been a bloodbasin (like a bloodbath, but in the faucet’s basin).

    • kakafarmOP
      2·
      7 days ago

      Don’t worry. I only use a buzzcutting machine for a close-enough-but-not-really shave.

        • kakafarmOP
          31·
          7 days ago

          Cutting yourself looks suicidal but it isn’t suicidal suicidal behaviour. It’s a sort of a safer option to committing suicide suicide.

        • kakafarmOP
          2·
          5 days ago

          I have a mnemonic for you. Most people are right-handed, so “right” the right direction. If you are one of the few left-handed people, remember that the world’s isn’t fair and what’s right for you isn’t right. If you happen to be one of the even fewer ambidextrous people, sorry, but you’re outta luck.

          • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf
            1·
            5 days ago

            Ah! Now I understand why people said “thats not right!” When I showed them my kitten-cannon 2000. That day I painted very many places in kitten-red!

    • kakafarmOP
      11·
      6 days ago

      And you could ha[Fe] it all! My liquid red…

      Was I your first?

  • jdr@lemmy.ml
    1·
    6 days ago

    What have you become, my cleanest friend?

    Apparently Miley Cyrus made one called “Flirt” for Black Mirror but they never released it. I even tried to email Charlie Bricker. I fear it may be lost forever.