Probably Adams’:

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

I don’t know if it tops the list, but certainly worth mentioning: Three Men in a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome.

It was published in 1889(!) but it’s still hilarious today. Full of very well observed humour. I find it really fascinating that a book over 130 years old can still be so relatable, but I suppose people haven’t changed as much as we sometimes like to think.

It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

That pro-capitalist 50 page rant/manifesto by Rand in Atlas Shrugged is pretty damn funny if you read it the way you would watch a Neil Breen movie (the latter is more talented but still).

There are many that I’m forgetting but here are a few that come to mind right now:

“My, you look like a picture this afternoon.” “He don’t say a picture of what.”

-To Kill a Mockingbird

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

-Last Chance to See

“He heaves up the body into the backpacker’s arms in a way that Audi-driving men wearing neon-bright jogging pants are often incapable of doing”

-A Man Called Ove

Chrisjen Avasarala from The Expanse is a goldmine of hilarious obscenities, but my personal favorite is:

“And Jim, when you get there please try not to stick your dick in anything; the situation is already fucked enough as it is.”

From recently read Service Model

There is no reason why Central Services will not be able to fix me. I only did one murder.

He was a robot put out of work by automation.

And some ridiculous unintentially-funny parts of Our Worm Ouroboros (old timey fantasy) that I wrote down:

Corund leaned on the parapet and shaded his eyes with his hand that was broad as a smoked haddock

I hold this burg of Eshgrar Ogo as a nut betwixt the crackers.

why, there’s a proper man indeed: weareth a shaven lip too, which, as experienced opinion shall tell thee, far exceedeth your nasty mustachios.

As the fool thinketh, so the bell blinketh.

…had our army smashed like an egg that is dropped from a watch-tower on pavement of hard granite.

Fifteen ships, and every ship as full of men as there be eggs in a herring’s roe

For context: the previous chapter explained what names are, how they operate, and how you absolutely do not fuck with them unless you want your friends and family tracked down and exterminated.

Just about anything Ignatius Riley said in A Confederacy of Dunces