“Florida Man commands people sell their possessions and follow him into the hills swamps”
“Florida Man puts mud into blind person’s eyes.”
“Florida Man Found in giant box with animals from the zoo after surviving the huricane. 40 days at sea.”
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Florida man tells his daughter’s fiancé to collect a hundred foreskins before they can get married.
Winner so far imo!
“Second Florida man brought 200 instead.”
Florida Man kicked out of public garden after stealing apples from a protected tree.
Tells police his wife convinced him to do it after she had “taken bad advice from a snake”.
I rarely hear of snakes giving good advice.
Florida Man abducts two of every animal and shoves them in his homemade boat.
Probably one of these
First read this as “shaves them” and didn’t remember that from the original story.
they were bored, okay?
Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy
Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy
[…] daughters intoxicate, rape him in ensuing chaos
Florida Man Curses Fig Tree for Refusing to Bear Fruit Out of Season
Florida man distributes bootleg wine to crowd.
Florida man claims wife turned into (bath) salts
Florida man turned pastor eaten by whale
I think it would be more correct to say Florida man tuned pastor after being eaten by whale.
florida whale eats man-turned-pastor
Florida man lives in whale
Florida in whale
Florida Manwhale
Manwell? There’s a client for you!
Whale mans Florida
Florida Man has rib stolen, claims it turned into another person
Florida man orchestrates subordinate’s death so he can marry the widow
Florida man breaks quarantine to host gathering of people suffering from highly contagious disease.
Florida man claims bush talked to him after setting fire to it
Aactually, there’s a kind of shrub on there hills that tends to set itself aflame.
Florida man begets arson in neighbouring city after claiming ‘it is too gay’
Florida man claims wife is sister to entrap thirsty, high-ranking official. At least twice.
“Alabama man saved from Florida man’s entrapment because he couldn’t get it up.”
And that’s how we know that she WASN’T Alabama Man’s sister!
Official subsequently infected with (possibly sexually transmitted) skin disease
The story of Lot is definitely set in Florida.
Before bedtime, Florida Men both young and old and from every part of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house. They called to Lot, “Where are the two men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so we can have sexual relations with them.”
Also
One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old. Everywhere on the earth Florida Women and Florida Men marry, but there are no Florida Men around here for us to marry. Let’s get our father drunk and have sexual relations with him. We can use him to have children and continue our family.”
Florida man harasses bitcoin traders at prosperity gospel church, sentenced to death
