I’m, put simply, over it. I am not a model, I am not an actress, my worth and value as a human is not based on having a flat tummy or a perfect face. I am a human covered in hair, little red bumps, scars, lumpy bits and odd little freckles. My body serves just about all of the purposes I need it to on a daily basis and that’s good enough for me. I can do gardening, go dancing, lift my kid to do airplane and carry all the groceries. Life is too short not to eat the cookie.

It’s an on and off thing. I’m mostly fine with the body I’m in. I’ve noticed that it’s when my mental health is fucked in other ways that my feelings about my body also get messed up.

Can you imagine a body or appearance you wouldn’t feel that way about? If so, would it be more or less feminine?

I might be way off base here, but that feeling you described, that’s a lot like how I would describe gender dysphoria for me pre-transition.

Imagining how you would feel if you could shake off the expectations associated with your agab can be instructive. If you find a spark of joy while doing that, you can follow it, you can play with your gender expression and see what leads you to more joy.

Apologies if im barking up the wrong tree, I just know I wish someone said this to me years ago.

My teenage self would be so surprised if she met me now. I grew up in a very mysogynistic culture, and was so, so insecure about my body.

I’m 43 now, and I just stopped giving fucks. My body is a functional asset, not a decorative one. I’m working on getting stronger and healthier, regardless of what “the wrapper” looks like.

I also stopped bothering to shave my body hair, which is something I never thought I’d feel comfortable doing.

I really hope you get to your own version of that. I know it’s hard to do that while living in our society. I’m sending you hugs!

I’m pretty comfortable most of the time, unless I’ve been off my exercise schedule or eating poorly. But it only takes me a week or so to get back on track.

I didn’t always feel this way, I had pretty serious issues with it in my teens and twenties. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Body issues are no fun, especially if you’re dealing with other mental health issues as well.

Life’s too short to give a fuck. If the people close to you overtly judge you because you’re not culturally acceptable then its better to be alone. Find the people who love you for you not for what you can do for them.

I’m fine with myself, but at 39 it’s like an ongoing battle with others not to project their insecure bs at me. I am the way I am. For example, someone commented (here) my choice of bra would give “uniboob” like…okay? Who cares if each boob is an individual and everyone knows it? Not me. My girls are comfortable and my back feels fine. Irl people like to say I’m like a little kid/childlike and yes I’m 5’/petite, and yes I do report them to HR after the first “I don’t like you talking about my body.”So I’m fine with me but sometimes it’s other people who just aren’t fine with themselves and comment on others I suspect.

As someone still dealing with the tail-end of an eating disorder, no. And it doesn’t matter what people tell me, compliments just fall flat. I haven’t felt good enough since I was in my teens.

It’s not even because other people judge me. At least, I don’t think they do. They actually were mostly worried about me when I was underweight. But I still judge me, and it will never be enough is how I feel. I suppose somehow I built up too high expectations for myself.

Starting at about 25 I started collecting little discomforts here and there. I’m not in your age range, but I’ve lived through that range and then some. (I’m 60 now.)

My experience is that there’s always some kind of discomfort—life is suffering, as the Buddhists would say if they were brain-damaged people misremembering their scriptures like I’m doing—but if you’re experiencing exactly the same discomfort constantly it may be time to get a check-up.

The only chronic, consistent pain I had until I reached my mid-50s was the broken back. That … makes sense.

Nah. It’s broken/misconfigured in various ways that make it hard to appreciate it.

I’m pre-HRT still, waiting until next month to start the readiness assessment when my doctor gets back from vacation, but I’ve stopped shaving my arms for a bit since the cat scratched me pretty good when we were playing not long ago, and I want to wait for those wounds to heal before starting again.

Seeing my hair grow back on my arms reminds me how much I hate body hair. I’m going to start waxing soon, and I’m really hoping that making a habit of that will help keep it away for longer.

Always hated looking at myself in the mirror, or in photos and videos either.

Yes, I’m about 40 years old give or take. I spent most of my life very uncomfortable in my own body - always felt chubby, awkward, clumsy, and unattractive through most of my adolescence.

There came a point where I was so fucking sick of feeling like that and of having so many negative voices in my head screaming terrible things about myself constantly. That no matter what society taught me, no matter what people would think of me, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter nearly as much as what I thought about myself. And if I was happy with myself? Everyone could fuck off.

It took some years of playing with my outward appearance (drastic hair cuts, new thrifted clothes, picking up styles I really liked but felt too embarrassed to try before) and making positive self-thoughts a habit (and putting a lot of girl punk into my rotation) before I was more comfortable with living in this meat sack that is my body. These days I might have a bad body day here and there, but they don’t bother me as much.

I’ve gone through a lot of body changes in those years as well - a debilitating autoimmune disease and pregnancy/childbirth helped shift my view of my body. Made me realize how strong I am, that my body houses my soul, it heals itself, it helps me feel the cozy, warm, good things in the world.

Be gentle with yourself and know that you are good enough just the way you are right in this very moment.

I feel comfortable in my body, but only now that I’ve started taking hormones to change my gender. Your description sounds a lot like how I felt pre-transition. I felt a pervasive discomfort with myself at all times for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t specifically directed at my body and appearance, but only because I dissociated to the extent of not considering my body to be part of me.

If there’s something you’ve always felt that makes you not want to be alive, that’s a big concern. Most people feel fine about themselves most of the time. Most women feel generally comfortable with themselves. Everyone has some amount of discomfort or insecurity with their appearance, but its rarely as severe and pervasive of feeling as you described.

Chiming in on team self-determination: Transitioning was an S tier life decision and has been fantastically helpful.

You don’t need to keep the form you were issued, if it doesn’t fit. I’d advise thinking about what would feel like a good mecha for your soul to be piloting.

Yeah, I’m comfortable in my body. Although, I’ve spent the last 8 years resculpting it through transition. Now I’m just happy with how I look, and I’m proud of the progress that I’ve made.