Does linkedin they also have instructional infographics on how to get a raise or promotion by blackmailing or extorting your boss?
sleeping with the boss if you are a hot secretary
Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics…
Only way your gonna get anywhere is if you eat ass
Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.
Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.
This isn’t exactly news.
But it also misses what a “promotion” means in theory (more autonomy and control, resources to pursue projects, underlings) versus what it means in practice (a token title change and a small raise with a ton of extra responsibility in an underperforming section of the firm).
So much of how you make progress in a business is to turn lemons into lemonade and sell that lemonade to your bosses.
Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.
Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.
Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.
Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.
“You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute.”
And let’s be fair, no one is getting the promotion.
Year 1: incredibly productive
So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?
Year 1: “incredibly productive”
Year 5: “not about the work”
I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.
Like that’s really the purpose of the company… manufacturing schmooze, so we need good schmoozers
A raise with no promotion = more pay for the same responsibilities.
The last point in year 3 sounds divine.
Also at the end of it all they went for a 4 day work week, on top of the raises.
Hahaha get fucked i’ve worked remote since 2015.
I’ve been remote since 2013. We said “distributed” because it was important that we didn’t have a central office. This kind of thing happened much less. A company can do distributed well.
That hasn’t held up forever. Because, well, gestured wildly at entire sub.
If it isn’t about the work then TF is it about?
I go to work for MONEY. You pay to make you MONEY. For me to make you money, you need me to WORK
It is about the work.
Now pay me more
It’s about an AI generated sense of accomplishment.
It’s not wrong, but what it describes is ethically wrong in my opinion. Raises and promotions are less about work performance and more about performative theatre. Being chummy with management is often a better predictor of upward career trajectory.
Any decent manager knows better, but many managers became such by schmoozing their way up, so the cycle of incompetence continues.
Upper management isn’t only about the work.
Yeah you can do the work, but also probably the person in the office can also do the work.
If the person in the office is the one interacting with the upper management more and the work is being done equally well between them and some unknown person that works remotely why would they hire the person you do not know?
The management position / next level probably entails more people skills and dealing with people so someone you have hardly ever spoken to might not have those skills but the person in the office they know can at least deal with people well.
I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.
I’m never going back into the office. I rather make less money.
What’s interesting is that I’m actually making more money doing remote because I don’t need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I’m making 40% more $.
We need a new plague.
Hopefully they learned from recent history and do it right this time around.
🤮
Funny how, even in their weird masturbatory LinkedIn fever dreams, the person still ends up going from working in office five days a week, to four.
So apparently all of this was still worth it.
