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all evolutionary

???

Big L, rest in peace.

Not if I forget why I wrote the date.

E. All of the Above

I’m down for another round.

And then some.

You’d probably need to go to one of those places like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but even then it’s not guaranteed.

But I don’t even who this person is? Fine, okay. :(

Too soon. Way too fucking premature, dude. Not cool.

Once we switch over to bottle caps as currency, I’ll be both instantly rich and utterly distraught at the potential wealth I squandered over the years.

Holy shit, not to brag, but you just made me realize I literally have an above-average number of balls. Updating my Tinder profile as we speak.

You’d think, but it’s really hard to balance with so many balls.

idk probably because he fucked your mom in Call of Duty last night?

Don’t feel bad, I used to work as a writer.

Born politician right there. Seriously, some of the shittiest villains in politics would nonetheless wow you with how they can legitimately work an entire room full of people, remember names, make you feel special, etc.

I can throw dog treats with absurd accuracy and nearly always bounce/spin/toss them right near my dogs. Until I point it out.

You don’t HAVE to get kicked in the nuts to make a baby any more than you “have to” kiss your partner. But it’s called foreplay and it’s pretty common?

I probably don’t either. I’m just open to the idea.

Speak for yourself.