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I have like 6 pairs of pants that i wash all the time. Some of them don’t fit right. I am trying to dedicate some time to getting pants that fit me well this weekend. I went to the shops today and had some near misses. One pair i liked and fit well was too sheer. Another fit but was only available in one color that i don’t care for. Honestly, pretty good results. I thought nothing would ever fit me and now i know two brands to look for. I’ll do a little more shopping tomorrow. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to travel to a town with a bigger shopping center. Hopefully I find something that works for me
For anyone following my saga, I now have two new pairs of pants!! And two new dresses!! I’m pretty happy 😊
I’m so pissed off today 🤬
I have a remote employee who needs to ship equipment back to the company tomorrow. The employment had been extended twice, but no one thought to inform the person coordinating the whole thing of the actual separation date until a few days ago. There are all kinds of company shipping issues going on right now, but OF COURSE I should have magically known all of this needed to happen now because I’m such a fucking mind reader that knows everything and can do everything 😤😫😖😣😒
And my hormones are raging today which makes everything 10 times worse FML 😩
Fuck I need to get into a boxing class again so I can hit things when I’m angry 😡
Fuck mate what a fuck up. You’re having to sort other people’s mistakes with raging hormones. Do what you need to do to survive today.
Oh I am surviving today!
It’s really just a miscommunication thing and I’m all ragey because of hormones. It’s all working out and I’m being ragey for nothing lol
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I’m feeling really conflicted in regards to dating. I’m (probably?) ace-spec, and all I really want is someone to cuddle, kiss, and love. I feel anxious, and I think it’s because I’m worried that I’ll never find someone to be long-term partners with.
There’s also polyamory. It sounds great, but I would only want to be in like, a closed polycule. Any kind of open relationship would leave me feeling left out.
The usual advice for finding partners is to go and find a hobby that involves social interaction … which is a good start, and very good for mental health … but I’d go one further and say it’s a good idea to try to find social get-togethers that might draw people who would be your type.
For me, that usually means attending munches (with which I’ve had mixed results, but plan to keep trying), language interchange groups (because language is a barrier for me in society at large, since my Spanish isn’t fluent), and LGBT groups.
Have a think and a look around what you can find in your area, and get out there!
ps. It sounds like you might not be ready for poly just yet … try finding one person first, and see how that goes
That seems very difficult; especially since I live in a very small, rural town. Honestly, I don’t even really like other people, and therefore being sociable.
P.S. I am 100% not ready for a poly relationship. Emotionally, socially, I don’t even know. I’m not convinced I’m even ready for a mono relationship.
Maybe this just isn’t for me.
Ease up on yourself, you never know what you can or can’t do until you try … you’re more capable than you think!
The thing with being sociable is that if it doesn’t come naturally (like for me), practice helps. Practice is easier when you’re trying to do it with people that you have something in common with. Maybe you don’t like people because you haven’t found others like you yet … I don’t like people in general either, but out me in the right group and it’s like oxygen to a flame.
So, you’re in a rural area. How far is it to the nearest proper city? If it’s 2 hours away, then perhaps you could find some like-minded group to try visiting once a month as a day trip sort of thing.
If you’re something like 5-6 hours away, check out special occasions (like pride activities, cultural festivals where groups will represent themselves, etc) and have a mini-holiday based around just trying to meet people.
If you’re 8+ hours from a city, maybe think about moving?
This is just me trying to come up with ideas. Maybe if you do a bit of searching you can come up with better ideas that suit you :-)
I did have a group of friends at one point. Majority queer. It was always a blast to hang out with them.
Eventually, I want to move to a big-ish city. Not super big, like NYC, but still pretty big. The goal is a small group of friends, to hang out with; watch movies, play games, etc.
There are fairly large cities near me. Maybe I’ll try going to some queer events or something.
Who knows, maybe I’ll find someone who wants to move to the same place I do, and we could be flatmates :3
Thanks for talking to me about this; it helps a lot <3
I’m happy to hear that … you sound capable.
In this harsh world, us queers have to get together, and make what the world won’t give us - you can find friends, you can find love <3
I try to not even think about love, tbh. It seems so far away, unattainable, and undeserved.
Friends, on the other hand, I have had (and do have, online), and I think I deserve them, though some of them are too kind for this world.
Everyone deserves love … maybe the assholes of the world wouldn’t be assholes if they truly felt love at some point.
In summary: less assholes, more love
Yesterday was a real red letter day for me - I spoke to my sister on the phone, and we actually had a pleasant conversation!
We hadn’t talked more than about five words since about 2004, when she found out what my “lifestyle” entailed. I had resigned myself to never seeing her again, and only got updates from my brother.
But now she’s separated from her husband, and seems to have softened her attitude. She’s even talking about visiting with the kids next year.
I may have cried a bit, I’m so happy … hell, I’m tearing up a bit just writing this :')
I think it’s really cool that you are willing to have a relationship with her again. I don’t expect anyone to allow someone into their life that makes them feel unsafe, but if you feel safe, I’m a big believer in rehabilitation over retribution. I grew up in a conservative religious environment, and I was well into adulthood before I learned better. I also feel like I become a more well-adjusted, compassionate person as I get older, so I like to believe that others do too.
I learned a lot from when I quit my life of crime and managed to slowly have a relationship with my mother.
Most people need to work on their empathy, in a natural society like humans evolved for, where you have about a hundred people in your life, that can happen naturally … but these days? It needs a good shove, maybe from a humbling experience.
I think that’s how I might be able to get ob with her. She’s come down to ground with a bump, and maybe realises that I’m not just something to look down on.
If I can make it work it would be so nice … I hope you, too, can cultivate positive relationships for yourself :-)
Does anyone else here have ongoing or chronic illness that they are having a heck of a time getting properly diagnosed and treated? I’m going through it, but I’m also if a certain age where everything is blamed on my hormones. Anywho, I’d love to commiserate with anyone experiencing the same thing.
I’m having problems just trying to get a problem with my foot taken seriously, let alone trying to get something chronic diagnosed…
First asked my GP in Feb, got a physio appointment book a month later. Just told me to do some muscle exercises. Shockingly these did not help the problem…
Self referred to the local specialist musculoskeletal service, over two weeks later I get told they have my referral and there is a 9 week waiting list…
After a day where I could barely walk at all, contacted my GP again and got an appointment. Prodded around a little, took notes and sent me off to the hospital with an X-ray request. this was last week and I’m waiting for a phone call today to discuss the findings.
This is for a problem where it is localised in one tiny area, I can explain exactly what causes it to hurt, precisely where it hurts, what helps it not hurt and what the pain feels like. I can’t even imagine trying to navigate this with something more global like fatigue or general chronic pain…
I’m also also in the US and the problem I’m having right now is that I moved from one state to another, and I can’t switch my medicaid over to the new state until the old state is closed out, and I can’t do that until my caseworker, whom I ve never met or had any dealings with, chooses to follow through on my request. They are literally the only human on the planet standing between me and medical coverage and I can’t get ahold of them. I’ve left Voicemails, and just spent $17 to send a certified letter that requires a signature. It’ll hopefully get there by Friday, because the post office had zero options to get it there overnight. Meanwhile, i’m running low on medications, and in a lot of pain that I need to see a doctor about ASAP. I may have to spend 8 hours in the car tomorrow to go back to the old state on the off chance that someone can help me in person.
OMG what a nightmare. I cannot imagine layering government on top of healthcare. It’s like the perfect storm of inefficiency. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I hope it is sorted quickly.
I’ve been having trouble with fatigue. It has been unwanted and getting a diagnosis has been long and frustrating. I need to take next steps. The whole process has been so slow, opaque, expensive, onerous.
My fatigue was a clue, but not the end of the rabbit hole. I did lean into family history to get me some direction, which helped a bit. I’ve concluded that medicine isn’t as far advanced as I want it to be sometimes.
You got me thinking. There is a duality in many areas. Including medicine. Where in some areas there are insights available at such a tiny level. But sometimes the best strategy is try something and see what happens.
Urgh, I know how you feel - I’ve had the worst luck with doctors not listening to me in the past, and sometimes literally making stuff up … I felt like shit for over 10 years because of bad doctor’s advice.
If they’re blaming your problems on “hormones” then you could ask them for a referral to an endocrinologist … that way you get to come back with paperwork to say they can’t blame that any more.
Of course, it might be different if you’re in the US :-/
Anyway, *Big Hugs* from all the way over here
I am in the US and finally forked over the money for a concierge doctor. It helped get the referrals I need, but even the specialists are skeptical at times. For example I complained about some pretty bad stomach pain and my GI doc was like, fine I guess you can go for a gastric emptying study. And thank God, because it turns out that is at least one of my problems. I feel like if your problem is outside of the 12 things they see frequently, the system comes to a complete stop. Frustrating!
It sounds like you’ve already fought like hell, but there’s a lot more fighting to do.
I wish you all the strength and courage to keep going! I hate those stupid systems and doctors with prejudice >:-(
❤️ thank you!
