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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: October 29th, 2024

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  • I’m English (distinction from British as there isnt any programme for or impetus to learn celtic languages like the other countries) and for a long time the only other language I spoke was French to a very, very poor and sub-conversational level (from school).

    Since 2016 or so (on and off) I’ve been learning Dutch. When you tell people that, the first question you get (from both english native speakers and the Dutch) is ‘why’?

    So whilst I work and live in the UK, my company has a bunch of EU offices and I have worked closely with our large Belgian office for almost 10 years now and as of last year I now work for that EU branch of the company and my current project is with a Dutch client which has spurred me on a lot recently to learn again.

    I also have two Dutch friends (from other ends of the country) who help and encourage me.

    So I’m currently at a basic/low conversational level, I can deal with every day basic interactions.

    Sure, Spanish, French or even German makes a lot more sense to most people but I have so many strong links with the Netherlands that Dutch is the only one that makes sense to learn for me and is the one I use the most by miles.



  • One week since I finally started HRT after years of misery and antidepressant induced apathy. Mind is clearer, I can see an actual future for myself not obscured by fog and had a few actual moments of genuine happiness.

    I also came out to my one of my best friends who lives abroad and have struggled to stay in contact with, which not only rekindled our friendship but redefined it. They have been so instantly accepting of me and non-judgemental.






  • Hi, I’m (provisionally - I haven’t really decided yet) Pip from the UK, mid-30s. I had my “egg crack” moment a few years ago right at the start of the pandemic and I’ve been waiting for an appointment with a UK gender service for 4 years until I finally got my first appointment the other week.

    I’ve been in self denial this whole time, tried to ignore things, push it all to the back and it is clear that isn’t a healthy approach, it isn’t something that will “go away” by itself.

    I have a second appointment coming up in a few weeks where I will potentially get an actual diagnosis of dysphoria or incongruence and finally get some help. However the first appointment made it really clear I have an awful long way to go with self acceptance.

    I’ve tried joining a few trans communities but, and this isn’t meant to be an insult to anyone - I’m happy they are comfortable in expressing themselves, I find it really hard to relate to all the uwu, catgirl, eepy stuff to the point where it makes me feel uncomfortable. Not in a judgemental way, it is clearly related to my own lack of self-acceptance and my self hatred but at times it makes me feel like it isn’t serious, other times it makes me feel like an outsider and makes me question myself even more.

    I’m really looking for a group to have a slightly more mature discussion with, as fun as the memes and the “femcel” stuff is I just want to feel and speak in a way I’m more accustomed to.


  • Tricky… I finally got my first NHS appointment the other week and have to wait up to 12 weeks for the second one with a psychologist where they will actually give a dysphoria or incongruence diagnosis and (hopefully) start me on my journey. It has been a long time coming, I’m scared and apprehensive - I have a lot of internalised hatred and denial I have to overcome and I need to work hard on actually accepting myself but at least it feels like there is actual movement now.

    On one plus side I was chatting to my friend’s wife the other day (I’m very much not out to anyone yet) about our mutual love of all things pumpkin spice (found a pumpkin spiced oat milk in the supermarket) and got sent a "#basicwhitegirl’ meme in return which made me happier than she could ever know…