I’ve felt rancor and bitterness towards most of my surroundings for all of recent memory and have now realized that it’s starting to affect my relationship (im growing impatient, ready to fly off the handle, a little defensive) and i feel like im in some way broken or “unfit” for a relationship. Very important to mention that i forgot to take my meds for an extended period and now they are virtuslly useless bbecause im a dimwit and am unable to properly remind myself of my fairly important emotional stability pills; This lack of pharmaceutical support (all a byproduct of my own actions) i think also plays a very big role in my current situation.

How do i not lash out or ruin my relationship with my partner because of my general unhappiness and, for lack of a better term, hate for and towards everyone else around me

  • Commiejones@lemmygrad.ml
    15·
    4 days ago

    Rage is not the problem. Rage is a healthy emotional response to the state of things today. We are being exploited and abused and forced to watch children be murdered while being coerced into upholding the system that produces the weapons used for genocide.

    The issue is that you don’t have an outlet for the rage. You need to find something that helps you feel like you are fighting back.

    I put my rage into my garden. I tell myself I am training so that when the guerilla war comes I’m can make sure my comrades have food. It isn’t enough but it is what I can do in the place I am at. I’m still an angry fuck but it helps.

    • KRat@lemmygrad.mlOP
      6·
      4 days ago

      i do try to direct my wrath into constructive things but none of the things i do are actually “helping” with the problem?

      Like i write poetry/prose, whittle, like making constructed languages, linguistics and learning languages; none of these hobbies can be said to be useful for undermining the current state and helping my fellow comrades. Maybe i could focus on theory as best i can so i can divulge information in the languages i do know, but right now my main impulse to cope is to steal randomly from people i dont consider deserving and scarfing down a fuck ton of food

      I think the main problem for me not being able to dedicate myself to other things is because i basically am not taking my meds because i forgot about them for a while and worry about side effects if i start again (might completely fuck me up for a bit) and i have to tell my doctors. Not saying the meds are magic and will fix everything, but they help me actually do constructive stuff instead of impulse